This past two weeks has been rough on a young widow. Her husband was killed in Irag on March 31. Kynesha Dhanoolal, the widow, wanted to save his sperm as she and her husband had talked often, of having children together. She wants to be the mother of his children.
It appears that a will was not on file anywhere and the military had papers designating Kynesha’s husband’s (Dayne) mother as the person to whom the right of handling his remains; should anything happen to him. It would appear that Kynesha’s mother- in- law at first was not in agreement of harvesting her son’s sperm, initially.
Days were spent in discussion before an agreement took place. Experts say that the sperm may not be viable anymore. It seems after a man’s death…the sperm loose their mobility and their viability to fertilize an egg within hours. The harvesting didn’t take place until 4 days after his death and that means that the potential to create a baby has definately lessoned. It would be a miracle it sounds like if a child was to be conceived.
I can understand wanting a baby together. I can understand having the choice to have the child of her husband…however, he was in the military. He is unfortunately no longer alive to help her raise the child or support the child financially. This whole situation will open a bunch of legal and moral questions.
If she is blessed with a pregnancy from her husband’s sperm…will her pregnancy be covered under military benefits? Since the father is no longer alive would the child be entitled to social security benefits? Would tax payers be responsible for the support of this future child. Since the potential conception can only take place by artificial insemination…will that be procedure be paid for by military benefits? With the father gone; who will be a positive male role model for the child?
Having lost her husband…i am sure all of those issues are not at the forefront of Mrs. Dhanoolal’s mind. She is grieving the loss of her young husband. She is grieving the loss of her dreams of having a child with the man she loves. I am sure she is regretful of having to force such a request on the mother of her husband as she is grieving the loss of her son. This, I am sure has added another aspect of grieving for both women. If, after having to wait for those four days, a pregnancy does not occur will the daughter-in-law blame the mother-in-law for not agreeing sooner?
If the expert is correct and the sperm is no longer able to produce a pregnancy…the grieving will continue for both women. There will be no child or grandchild from the man that they both loved. The war in Iraq has stolen another generation from another family. The whole thing is very sad. This service man and his family has sacrificed what so many others have sacrificed before him…a future with their loved ones.