There is something special and unique about the bonding that takes place when people bond through their shared experiences. Something that i noticed when my parents each went through their cancer diagnosis and treatment sessions…intense bonding with fellow cancer patients and their families. That bond in those relationships was a lifeline at times. The fear of the unknown, the medical traumas, the difficult side effects, the kindness of strangers it all blended to remind us that we were not in the situation alone.
During hospital stays, during chemo treatments, and doctor appointments; my parents and other patients would share things about their families, about their experiences, their struggles, medical information, tips on how to overcome nausea, or how to cope with some of the side effects of the treatments. Some patients were alone…they had no family or else their family members lived in distant places. We would adopt them and visiting and trying to support when we could. It was all very intense.
In what amounts to a, down in the trenches, fight for their lives; cancer patients bond in very intense ways. When fellow patients would struggle…my parents would ask for prayer for them, from us. We are blessed with a strong family unit. We would honor the request …knowing that if we needed the favor returned…it would be given automatically by those same cancer patient friends and their families. We were all in a fraternity; that none of us wanted to be in….but still, we were in it together.
The losses hit hard. The emotions were so deep for my parents and for our family. Each loss, it was understood, could have been ours as well; but for the grace of God. Each milestone was celebrated. Waiting for the results of testing was, and is, filled with anxiety and fear. It is no less worrisome to hear of others around the world who struggle with the same issues. http://www.tnbcfoundation.org/tnbcinthenews.htm
When Robin Roberts, from Good Morning America, went through her diagnosis of breast cancer; it hit hard. She comes into our family home each morning, on television…she has become part of our family. When she shared her experiences with her treatment…she intensified the bonding we felt with her. My son’s very young teacher was going through the same thing at the same time. We lost her recently, even though she battled with everything she had. In my heart, i know that if Robin Roberts was in our local circle of support…she would have been connected to the loss, in her heart; just as she connects in her own circle of fellow cancer patient sufferers. That is just how it is in the realm of brotherhood and sisterhood of cancer warriors.
Part of what i loved most about Robin, during this time in her life, was her role modeling of spirituality; it is often overlooked in the battle with cancer. Human beings are an amazing blend of mind, body and soul. Cancer attacks all three levels of being. Healing requires battling on all three levels. Robin was very upfront about appreciating all of the prayers and support directed towards her; and, she often said how blessed she was. Many patients don’t have all of that. But compassion was at the forefront of Robin’s fight with cancer. I admire that about her. In using her fame, she encouraged donations to the locks of love organization when she donated the wig she used during her treatments. Check out the organization here: http://www.locksoflove.org/.
Today, i was touched once again because Robin was so moved because of the passing of Tony Snow, the former press secretary for the White House. He left his position last year when he had a reaccurrance of colon cancer. Robin Roberts interviewed him on his last day in office and she considered it a priviledge to do so.
As she shared with us today, it hit her hard that he passed away over the weekend. She said how special that day was that she interviewed him…how it was a sort of gift of encouragement to her; as she had been recently, diagnosed with breast cancer at the time of the interview.
On the clip that was shown of the interview…you can see the emotion in Tony Snow come across as he shared how important it was to let people in who love you. He said, as his emotion shimmied across his face and his chin quivered….”Just let them in…let them love you”. It moved Robin then, and it moved her today, as she said how important that interview was to her. They talked about pampering herself when she needed to…Tony advised her to do that when she needed it. He encouraged her to work when she felt up to it….take it easy when she needed to take it easy. Basically, Tony Snow empowered Robin to continue to do the things that uplifted her and strengthened her…to do the things, that kept her focussed on her well-being.
If you know someone who is struggling with cancer…recognize the importance of the relationships they share with other patients. Encourage them to reach out. It is hard when losses occur….but, the pain of the loss is because of the intensity of the gift of the human connection. It is a strengthening of the soul to be able to connect to others; and, it should be celebrated. See also: https://writeasrain.wordpress.com/2008/04/21/robin-roberts-made-me-cry/, https://writeasrain.wordpress.com/2008/03/19/triple-negative-breast-cancer/, https://writeasrain.wordpress.com/2007/11/02/roller-coaster-ride/.
Write where you are 
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