When One Wants It And One Doesn’t!

        Have you ever known a couple that is going through a serious trial in their marriage?  What about when one partner wants a divorce and one does not?  Have you ever wondered how hard someone should fight for their marriage?

         I know someone who is going through the battle to save their marriage.  He says he didn’t know how to show love.  His marriage was jepardized because of it.  He grew up with a father that was only able to show his love by working hard for his family…he didn’t know how to express it in any other way.  His children grew up to repeat those patterns.

         Now another generation is struggling to find ways to communicate love and devotion…but it may be too late.  His wife is ready to move on.  And yet, he still hangs in there…sacrificing his own wants and needs to bend over backwards to give her control over what happens to their future.  Not knowing if she will stop the divorce before it happens…not knowing if she can even remember what drew them together in the first place.

            She admits that she wants Prince Charming.  When she wanted to work on the marriage…he didn’t realize the depth of the issues.  He was in denial.  She was tired of trying to fix things on her own.  Things never got fully resolved.

          The hurt goes deep.  The clock is ticking…the legal proceedings are moving along.  Can it be saved in time before the divorce takes place…maybe, but they both have to want it.  They both have to find news ways of communicating with each other without falling into old patterns of behavior.  No one is blameless in this…we all are products of our previous relationships in family and romance.  Is it possible to move on and be happy if you can’t resolve the problems from your present relationships?  I hope healing can take place.

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How Much Is A Life Worth?

        Ok, I want to know…who gets to decide how much a life is worth in an insurance agency?  I read about a woman in Oregon who has lung cancer.  It was treated in the past and she was in remission; and then, it came back.  Her doctor recommended a course of drug treatment that would cost around $4,000.00 a month to treat it.  Her insurance refused to pay. However, they had an alternative suggestion.

        There was another drug that they WERE willing to pay for…it was medicine that cost a mere $50.00…it was for a physician assisted suicide. 

         The first medicine would have extended her life for approximately another 4 to 6 months…therefore costing a maximum of $24,000.00; compare that to a $50.00 death sentence; and, you will see that a life is worth somewhere in the middle; if it were up to that particular insurance company.  If the medication would have helped her to survive for 5 years or more they would have probably covered it; according to their 5 year, 5% survival rate after the five years.  It may be helpful to remind yourself that insurance is a booming business…you have to have it; and yet, basically you are gambling with the money that you pay in for premiums…they may or may not choose to cover you.

         So now you know how much a life is worth in case you need to know.  This woman was blessed to have a caring doctor who was somehow able to get the medication from the pharmaceutical company for her.  Hopefully, the medication will give her additional time with her friends and family. 

        However, she is not alone in this experience…it happens every day.  You may want to check your insurance coverage to see where you stand and how much value your insurance company places on your life!  Isn’t it outrageous that you are only valuable to your insurance company when you are healthy and paying your premiums…not when you need them to cover you, like they are supposed to do? 

       

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It Is Not Going To Be That Easy!

       A week ago we were all horrified to learn of a young 22 year old man who was stabbed to death while he slept on a greyhoud bus that was traveling through Canada.  This young man did nothing wrong and yet, he was vicously stabbed over and over again; and then, sorry for having to say this…was beheaded by his attacker.  The attacker, Vince Weiguang Li, then ate parts of the body.  That is a violation of mind, body and spirit and is hard to understand how someone could act so normal and be so unbalanced.

         As all of this was happening, the other bus occupants left the bus for their safety.  An officer reported seeing some of the horrifying actions of Vince Li.  He was arrested and has gone before a judge who asked him if he wanted a lawyer.  He supposedly shook his head and said, “Please Kill Me”.

          Killing him would be all too easy.  Yes, I am sure there are many who wish that to be his punnishment.  Even if that is the end result, it is not going to be that easy.  There will be a process for Li that takes time.  You don’t request death and it is done instantly through legal proceedings.  It is not going to be that easy for Li.  He will have a long time to relive the horror that he perpetrated.  Over and over again, he will be tortured by memories of what he did. 

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Describe for Me…Rose of Sharon and Her Companions

        It has been planted in my yard for a good many years now.  It is beautiful in full bloom…my Rose of Sharon.  The bush is full and round with pregnant buds; standing about 7 feet tall.  The leaves are an interesting shape..somewhat oak leafish but smaller in size.  They are green and when the flower buds begin to swell…it takes a few weeks to realize their full birth.  First they appear as small, hard, green buds; then, amazingly they start to appear white and twisted; similar in shape to a coned, morning glory flower bud, as it twists itself fully open.  It is all the more miraculous when you remember that only months ago…it stood proudly, looking for all the world like a dead, wooden monument to the life it had lived the year before.

         On this Rose of Sharon bush…the flower buds turn a deep shade of raspberry, in color.  When the flower petals reveal themselves…they open to a fluttery, fluted funnel.  Each petal eagerly overlaps the other to make them appear almost as if they are sculpted with those decorative sissors that make scalloped edges.  I have decided to expand the Rose of Sharon palette…i have added a light, lilac Rose of Sharon to the yard. 

         Together, they will be a show stopper in August when they tend to bloom…lasting for weeks with their dedication to painting the yard with their strong, visual presence with splashes of color.  The center of the Rose of Sharon is very similar in design to the hibiscus.  There is a long, protruding, white, bumpy center stamen, that contrasts with it’s glorious color.  On each of the colored petals are veins of a darker hue, than the petal, which just adds depth to the pretty picture. 

          It is with a sorrowful acceptance, that i tell you there is no hypnotic perfume from these beautiful flowers…their grace and attraction is in their butterfly shaped petals that flutter in the breeze.  That breeze that has been pleasantly scented by my other seductive collection of flowers such as the Stargazer, Oriental Lillies.  It sweetly spices the air with it’s signature scent.  It is like no other scented flower to my way of thinking.  It calls to the senses; and, adds to the nightime mystery that is my flower garden.  It has a tranquilizer effect for those who take the time to embrace the enveloping sweetness.

        One year, I remember mistakenly taking my vacation during their bloom time…and mourned the loss all year long.  It is something to nibble on…the feasting of the senses in late July/early August; when the Stargazers set out to stun the world with their shortlived appearance.  I give them their due…they are stunning if not a bit dominant during their show time.

          The smell is so wonderfully uplifting that you want to bottle it; so that you can capture the moment in time…it truly elevates the human mood to enter into the fragrance zone.  The touch of the petals is so soft and cool to the touch that you actually can’t stop yourself from gently rubbing its petals against the skin of your fingers.  The sight of the large pink and fushia, star- shaped flower petals, brings the awareness of the scent to your memory, moments before you actually indulge yourself with the smell.  Truly, if it could be bottled…no man would be able to resist it’s draw to the woman who wears it; it is that powerful.

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