Have you ever known a couple that is going through a serious trial in their marriage? What about when one partner wants a divorce and one does not? Have you ever wondered how hard someone should fight for their marriage?
I know someone who is going through the battle to save their marriage. He says he didn’t know how to show love. His marriage was jepardized because of it. He grew up with a father that was only able to show his love by working hard for his family…he didn’t know how to express it in any other way. His children grew up to repeat those patterns.
Now another generation is struggling to find ways to communicate love and devotion…but it may be too late. His wife is ready to move on. And yet, he still hangs in there…sacrificing his own wants and needs to bend over backwards to give her control over what happens to their future. Not knowing if she will stop the divorce before it happens…not knowing if she can even remember what drew them together in the first place.
She admits that she wants Prince Charming. When she wanted to work on the marriage…he didn’t realize the depth of the issues. He was in denial. She was tired of trying to fix things on her own. Things never got fully resolved.
The hurt goes deep. The clock is ticking…the legal proceedings are moving along. Can it be saved in time before the divorce takes place…maybe, but they both have to want it. They both have to find news ways of communicating with each other without falling into old patterns of behavior. No one is blameless in this…we all are products of our previous relationships in family and romance. Is it possible to move on and be happy if you can’t resolve the problems from your present relationships? I hope healing can take place.
Write where you are 
My mother and father divorced went I was five years old. We moved from Seattle to Los Angeles. I growup not ever remember my mother saying, “I love you” or showing she love me. Something I would think that she hate me. If was seven of us. I have four sisters and two brother, I’m that middle child.
Don’t get me wrong my mother did her best she could do, and knew how. Trying to raise seven kids by herself. I know it could not had been easy. But, sometime your best is not good enough.
I grownup thinking most of my life that my mother did not love me. Because she never say it or showed it. Her way of showing love was making sure we have food, a place to live, and clothes on our backs. That’s her way of showing love. but the only way a person can really feel love is my hearing it and being show it.
My sisters and I talk about this after my mother died four years ago. It did not seen to bother then that our mother could not show love. I took then that it really bother me and sometimes I still think about it.
Giving your kids clothes, a place to live and food, do not ever take the place of telling then you love them and showing then that you love then.
Lots, of people think you should know that you are love, without hearing the word. I don’t think so. You have to hear that word, you also need to be feel that you are love.
I did not really know what love was until I met my husband. He really showed me what love was all about. I think if it was not for my husband I would not ever deal with it, and I would had pass it on to our sons. My sons, I never ever wanted then to ever feel that they was not love. I did not want to pass on the way I gownup to my sons. I always took then and show then that I love then. They are all grownup and still went I talk to then, I tell then that I love then.
There is nothing worst then growning up feeling not loved and passing, it on to your childern. Nothing can take the place of love and feeling love.
I hope they can work it out and save they marriage.