Ok, I am going to rant a bit for a minute. Twice this week the news has hit us with two terrible stories about families that self-destructed through murder-suicide. Two families that were destroyed. One family in particular left a suicide note allegedly saying that the reason they were dead was because both the husband and the wife lost their jobs…were in debt…and were rejected by their employers. The other family’s reasons have not yet been announced. The family members allegedly say that there was no clues to this tragedy. What i want to know is…can we stop families from hurting the ones that they love? Yes we can, encourage them to seek help: http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ Each time something like this happens…those who were lost leave behind friends, family members, neighbors, acquaintances and community members who are hurt, confused and saddened. We have to take care of each other and learn to be more in tune with those around us.
Seriously, I have a hard time understanding this phenomenon; barring mental illness; I can’t understand the murder-suicide situations between people who claim to love one another; unless it is put in the perspective of deperate people who feel like they have no other option. How can someone take the life of the person/persons that they live with, take care of, provide for, protect, and nurture? Temporary suffering from financial difficulties, or family problems or divorce or any other reason is better than death. Doing harm to another human being (especially a family member) is not saving anyone from anything! Harming yourself is not going to change anything for the better either. Revenge is another reason why some people commit murder-suicide.
During the holidays, there was the Santa shooter who tried to wipe out his whole former in-laws and ex-wife. He managed to murder quite a few of them and eventually took his own life; albeit, only because he was injured in the fire that he started and he evidently was in considerable pain. In that particular case, he was going through a divorce and even though he was not living with those family members….at one time he was part of that family. How do you take the lives of people that you have lived with, loved, dined with, made love to, taken care of when they were sick and so on?
People who are mentally disturbed, seriously depressed or have a brain injury usually have caring people or a caseworker/guardian/family member around them who are aware of their issues, are tuned into their well-being or lack of; and they are in touch with their medical/psychological health providers, when they feel that things are not right with that person. Getting appropriate medical/mental help for someone who is struggling is very important…sometimes it has to be sought against their will; but, still it needs to be done. Typically, there are clues that all is not well with someone who is struggling with feelings of suicide or murder.
What amazes me, are those situations when we hear that someone who seemingly appears healthy mentally, suddenly does something so out of the range of normal for their personality and commits a crime such as a murder-suicide with their loved ones as victims; whether it be a spouse or their children. How can someone go from being a loving family member to someone who can do bodily harm to their family? It escapes my logic.
I know in our country we are going through alot of stresses. People are getting desperate financially, loosing their homes, their jobs, their investments, retirement benefits, their medical coverage…these types of things can cause undue pressure to build up…causing people to do desperate things. Help is available out there: http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
What i want to say is…please seek help. Please find someone to confide in who can support you with ideas or solutions; let them be your sounding board. Maybe finding help through an agency or foundation can help to lift some of those extra-ordinary pressures on people who are struggling under the weight of the world on their shoulders. Don’t try to go it alone. Don’t keep your feelings of frustration, anger, despair, depression or isolation to yourself. Talk to a member of the clergy, talk to a counselor, seek financial advice from someone who may be able to direct you to a path of healing.
I hate hearing of the lives that were destroyed. The husband/father, wife/mother, sister/brother, child/grandchild or in-laws. These murder-suicide choices cannot be reversed; it can not be undone. It doesn’t solve anything. If there are any survivors…they can have long term health issues, mental health issues, disability and much more financial bills due to the violence visited upon them…not to mention…if the person committing the violence lives….prison or a death sentence is in their future.
The person committing the violence will have a long lengthy trial to go through, psychological evaluations to endure….and maybe life in prison. Guilt and depression can become a lifelong companion. There are friends,family, children, neighbors, and acquaintances who will suffer from the tragedy as well. Please, if you know someone who is struggling with these feelings…please encourage them to seek help. Can you make a difference in someone’s life by encouraging them? Give them a resource such as this National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/