This weekend was certainly an eye-opener for me regarding teen activities when parents aren’t around. I work with youth all of the time, I am the parent of 6 children-three of which are adults and three are under the age of 18. I took my younger three children, plus 3 ten year old girls to the movies with my husband to celebrate the 10th birthday of my youngest child. I took them to a family movie-a PG movie. It should have been safe right? Wrong!
The movie was fine…don’t get me wrong here…the problem was a couple of audience members. We were seated in the back of the small theater because of the size of our group…there were 8 of us. We were spread out because the teens didnt want to sit with mom and dad (of course) and the girls didn’t want to sit with the teen boys (of course) and so we took up the end seats of three rows. A group of three teens approached my teen boys, who happened to be in the last row in the back, and asked them if they would mind moving down to the end the line. They did move with no fuss. There were two girls and a boy; no parental guidance, I might add.
As the movie began, so did the engines of one of those girls and the boy. Right from the get go, it was obvious why they wanted my sons to move farther down the line and to the inside wall of the theater. They were not interested in the movie shall we say. They were there for one reason only…even though they had a chaperone…a female of about the same age. What age is that, you may ask? Well, they appeared to be all of about 12 or 13…at the most 14 years of age. Understand what I am saying here…they were approximately two to four years older than the birthday girl and her friends.
I could see them out of the corner of my eye. They were building up steam and their “friend” or sister was doing her best to ignore them. I shot them a couple of annoyed looks…which got the attention of their friend…she nudged the other girl who was deeply involved in her make out session. It stopped for all of about three minutes. I got up and left the theater with the intention of notifying the staff of what was going on. I reconsidered and thought that maybe by leaving the movie theater abruptly, maybe, it possibly had the impact of a glass of cold water thrown on them. Alas, it did not.
When I returned…my husband looked at me oddly, he knew I was annoyed; but, didn’t understand why…he couldn’t see what was going on directly behind him. This continued for another 10 minutes or so….which was sending my blood pressure up. Did the ushers come in and break it up? No, they never walked through the studio once. Let that be a lesson to you parents…you can’t count on other people to do your job for you! The movie was exciting; and, the birthday girl and her friends kept turning around to look at me and smile or make eye contact with me during the movie. I was getting worried that they would see more action behind me, than on the movie screen.
Yes, I admit the mama in me came out and I could not sit there and let things progress when i looked back and saw the young lady lay her upper portion over the arm rest of the seat and place it upon the young man who was laying down in his seat…which is the position that they both had assumed from the time they came in to the movie. Hands were flying everywhere and it was getting obvious that they were not caring that they had an audience.
I figured…if they want an audience….they were going to get an audience. 🙂 I got up out of my end seat, stepped behind it and, squatted down in between them. I used my very annoyed mother’s voice, the one of authority and said to them…”You need to knock it off. Now sit up and be appropriate”! Don’t ya know that is exactly what they did? My heart rate was zipping right along. Probably so was theirs, but for a different reason.
My question is…what part of PG don’t parents understand? The movie was rated PG but, why allow such young teenagers to go to a movie unchaperoned? It was clear to me and anyone else who saw this “couple” in action, that this clearly was not the first time that they were so “familiar” with one another…there was no shyness, no anxiety…no hesitency with one another.
I think that our American society sends young people the wrong message…everywhere they look, movies, television, magazines…they are bombared with sexual/sensual messages and obviously, teens of this age should not be sexual with one another. Physically their bodies are going through the hormonal changes and awareness of the opposite sex; but, emotionally and responsibility-wise they are not ready for an intimate relationship of this nature, nor are they prepared for the consequences of such actions.
If the parents of those teens sent the other female, of the same age, to chaperone…they were unwise. If they thought their kids were somewhere other than the movie theater…they may want to do some follow up in the future. I suspect that these are not the only teens who think they know what they are doing. I say, enough of the “cool parent syndrome” stop letting your teens and pre-teens have so much freedoms. Go and do things together as a family. Take your job seriously, or that PG movie you allowed them to attend without your parental guidance could turn into another kind of PG…one called pregnancy. What boundaries do you have in place for your teens to “date”?
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I agreed with you 100%. I do not think 12, 13, 14, and 15, should be dating. That’s what it was. When my sons was that age and wanted to go to the movies it was with me or they father. They all way sit one or two roll in front of us.
Getting your children too much freedom to soon, is wrong. That why they has parent. Who ever say being a parents is going to be easy. It’s a hard job , and the most importance job you will ever do.
It’s happening all over children are growing up to fast, and parents are not doing they job. Some people say that time have changed. No times has not change people change.
If was for kids to run wild, they would not have parents, they be like animal. Just have then and let then do whatever they want to do. Some parent are doing that. Years later that are wonder what happened.
Let children be children they need parents. They have lots of time to grownup. Parent be parent not your children friend. It’s nothing wrong with saying “NO”.
I, myself have an 8 year old sonwho sadly knows too much about sex for a child his age due to the things he is being taught by his peers as well as older kids. and the worst part is I’ve been accused of teaching him the filth hes picked up from these kids and teens who are engaing in public sex.