Starting Out In Marriage

         Did you ever go to a wedding and just observe the Bride and the Groom closely?  Today, i did just that very thing.  Oh, to be sure…the Bride was beautiful and full of smiles; and she looked the picture of what a Bride should look like.  Youth, beauty, joy and excitement poured forth from her face as she, who is normally very shy, looked everyone in the eye and took her vows.  This was her testiment to her pledge of love and commitment.

          The Groom also looked young and full of love and pride in the bride of his choosing.  There were awkward moments in the ceremony…such as a very loud train rumbling by the church…just as the bride was speaking her vows. Then, they did some wonderfully, unique things in their ceremony.  They took communion during the ceremony which was lovely.  The poor bride got a larger piece of the bread put into her mouth by her groom; which took her several minutes to chew and swallow…which caused her to be somewhat embarassed and caused some good natured laughter in the crowd.

          Part of the unique ceremony took place when the bride was given in marriage by her father to her groom; at that point…the bride and groom took the elevated platform in the front of the church; and the minister then, came out into the congregation and stood with his back towards the back of the church…he faced the bride and groom; who stood facing the spectators.  This viewpoint gave the advantage of watching the bride and groom as they spoke their vows, lit the candles, and smiled into each other’s eyes as they whispered affectionetly to one another.  Then, the groom played the guitar while one of his groomsmen sang a tribute to their love for one another.

           All in all, it was a trusting, loving, innocent step into the future as husband and wife…not knowing what the future holds for them…just knowing that they were taking the beginning step forward, together!  Hopeful for a lifetime journey.

        

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Jessica Alba Has Honor

          Actress Jessica Alba has given birth to daughter Honor Marie Warren.  Jessica and Cash Warren were married in a courthouse ceremony quietly on May 19th.  Together they celebrated the birth of their daughter with joy on June 07, 2008.   Congratulations to the new family, Happy Birthday, Honor! 

           There is always a paparazzi rush trying to get the first photo shots…please don’t endanger anyone trying to get the first baby photos, photographers and media news outlets!!!

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Support-Either You’ve Got It…Or You Don’t

         Support is a simple enough word; but, more importantly it is a powerful tool.  My dictionary says this about support:  To hold or bear weight, to tolerate, to give assistance, approval or aid.

          Quite often we hear the word in association with divorce as in spousal or child support.  This is usually in regards to finances.  This too is important in life…because truthfully, needing money to survive is a basic necessity in our world.  But there are many types of support that we need to survive.

           We need physical support throughout life such as encouragement through hugs, pat on the back, a kiss, food, water, shelter, a high five now and again.  We need emotional support that carries us through the hard times.  Most often the emotional support comes in the form of a mixture of physical touch and verbal words of encouragement.  When our words and our body language don’t match…people pick up on that and feel rejected.  But when you combine words with positive body language…that has the power to lift people up and help them to overcome obstacles and challenges that they face.

          Today, my family will be supporting three wonderful human beings that our family has been blessed to know.  All three are teachers at the core of who they are…in fact, they are “professionals”…teachers also by trade.

          One teacher, Mrs. K, has been battling cancer since her son was born 4 years ago.  She is a young woman who has given so much to her special education students and their families.  She has been making an impact on those around her by inspiring and teaching even during her illness.  

          Her husband and child have been a source of love and encouragement.  Her former students (she has not been able to work for the last 2 years because of her treatments) have motivated her and connected with her to communicate their love and support for her.  She has touched the lives of so many people that i think it surprises her how many people care about what she is going through.  Today, there is a community fundraiser to help her family out financially; as she continues to fight against the cancer that has spread in her body, even though her treatments have been aggressive.  This community support, i hope, goes along way to bring a surge of love and support to Mrs. K and her whole family.  I pray that they are lifted up and touched by the level of love (and finances) sent their way.

         Today also, we will go and support and celebrate a marital union of two other teachers who have been a big part of our family, for years.  They are blending a family officially and legally.  But more importantly, they are blending a family physically and emotionally.  One is a special education teacher who has been bringing educational support to our community’s families who have children with challenges.  We are blessed to know Mr. S.    His bride, J, will soon be Mrs. S.    She has waited 5 years for this day.  Together they will have 5 children in their family.  “J” has been teaching one of my children in a homeschool environment for the last year.  She has brought much love and support to our family as well.

         The thing about support is that it requires sacrifice.  What you put out there into the world comes back.  Support, either you’ve got what it takes…or you don’t.  Who can you find to support today?

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Til Death Do We Part

         On Saturday, a couple was having a special day; they were getting married in an outdoor ceremony.  During the ceremony, a man and his companion (female) were swimming in the water near the area of the wedding ceremony.

           While the wedding was ongoing the man in the water got angry and was making it known to the bride and groom.  They finished saying their vows only to be shot by the man who had gone to his car and retreived a gun.  The alledged shooter’s name is Patrick Paul Duvall.

           Duvall also shot a wedding guest and a bystander.  The bride and groom, Melissa and Mike Beavers are in the hospital in critical condition.  The wedding guest is still in the hospital but the bystander was released.  Duvall escaped in a stolen vehicle and was apprehended.  The police were told by the wedding attendees that no one knew this Patrick Paul Duvall.  The reason for his aggression seems to be unknown.  I haven’t heard any word about his companion and her role in the attack.

          When most people say their wedding vows…the phrase, til death do we part is usually included.  How many of us stop and really think about that phrase?  May God bless this couple and heal them completely so that they can continue on their life-long journey as a married couple. 

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Court Is Out Of Order- Sect Children Should Not Have Been Removed

       In Texas, an appeals court overruled the state’s decision to remove the children of the sect, Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.  The appeals court has found that the CPS department had not proven evidence of immediate danger of physical health or safety of children who had not reached puberty.  The court also said that their beliefs, in and of themselves, did not place children in danger of abuse.

          This is a victory for the 41 mothers who brought the suit against the state for removing their children.  Initially, the state had said that 31 of the mothers were under the age of 18.  It has since been determined that 15 of that 31 are OVER the age of 18.  What that means, for the other mothers, isn’t clear.

        Does this mean that the children will be returned back to their families?  No one seems to know for sure.  The ruling is being reviewed.  It is possible that the 450 children who were removed; could be removed from temporary foster care and returned to their families. 

          No one really seems to mention the fathers.  It is almost as if by accusing some of the fathers of sexually abusing young women…they all are guilty by association.  This is wrong.  Damage has been done to “whole” families…some of them may even be “INNOCENT”. 

          Part of the problem here is that in America, we are supposed to be considered innocent until proven guilty.  That didn’t really happen here.  Truthfully, children need to be protected.  However, in “protecting” them…the system damaged others.  This whole case is disturbing.  Allegations that can be proven true, of abuse, are horrendous…and should be prosecuted.  Those who were under suspicion and are proven to be innocent have been done a great injustice.

          The mothers had been represented by the Texas Rio Grande Legal Aid.  TRLA is a non-profit organization.  They help people, in southwestern Texas, with low income to receive legal services.  http://www.trla.org/   TRLA has been instrumental in helping these mothers to find a pathway to once again regain custody.  Update 5-23-08  Today it was announced that the state of Texas child welfare officials will appeal this landmark decision.  In a notification to the court the state says that a motion will be filed later today!   Keep watching to see what happens….as the outcome will surely define the limits or lack of limits on the department of child welfare that the courts will enforce.  This affects us all!!! 

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Here Comes The Bride…Jenna Bush

         Well, on Saturday May 10th, 2008 President Bush and Laura Bush will welcome a son-in-law to the family.  Daughter Jenna Bush will marry her long-time love, Henry Hager.  They have been a couple for approximately 5 years.

         The ceremony will be a private one on the family ranch in Crawford, Texas.  This is where Jenna grew up and feels most comfortable.  It will be much easier to control how much attention is given to the wedding festivities when everything is being held on the family ranch. 

          If the wedding were to be held in the White House there would be a huge attempt by the media to document each and every detail.  They are entitled to having their wedding day the way they want it; like most couples, surrounded by friends and family!

     

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Forced to Wed at 8 Years Old

         Ok…i can’t do it.  I can’t read the news i just read and keep quiet.  I was made aware of a young 8 year old girl who was forced to wed in Yemen.  She was forced to become a bride to a 30 year old man, by her father.  

          The young girl’s name is Nojoud Nasser.  Her father told her that she must marry this man or she would be raped; and, no one would help her.  She refused and he beat her.  She was not able to stop the marriage.  This was not a joyous occasion; she did not wish this marriage. 

           After two months of marriage and being chased around the man’s home and abused…Nojoud escaped.  She was able to find her way to a courthouse, where by the grace of God, she was able to get a lawyer, named Shatha Nasser, to help her.  May God bless Shatha Nasser and the work she is doing to help young girls like Nojoud.

           Someone annoymously donated the money needed to pay her dowry, and her divorce fee, to end her marriage.  She is probably the youngest divorced person at the age of 8.  Nojoud is now living with her uncle.  She plans to return to school; however, will she be able to go back to being just a young innocent girl?  No…and that is the problem…she will have to spend a lifetime healing the emotional wounds. 

            I understand that different cultures have different customs…but, forcing a child into marriage is not right.  Here in America, we are going through a difficult time trying to figure out who was abused and coeorced into marriage in the recent raid on a Fundalmentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints sect who practice polygamy with women under the age of 18, allegedly.  Around the world these things happen, but when they do…it is our responsibility to stand up and say it is not only wrong…but, we will take measures to protect those who cannot protect themselves.

            It is inhuman to treat young girls as if they are adult women.  They should never be forced to get married and have adult relations with a man.  It is cruel.  Children should be allowed to have a childhood.  I can not understand a parent, who would not only condone this type of marriage; but, also force a young child to be married, knowing that the child would be forced into a sexual relationship.

            It is time that some human rights organizations get involved in protecting the rights of children when it is understood that some cultures allow this type of treatment. Organizations such as Human Rights Watch have goals in place to help children who are being mistreated.  http://www.hrw.org/children/about.htm

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Was The Abuse Report Based On a Lie-Church Of Latter Day Saints Sect

        There have been reports allegedly linking a woman from Colorado, to the reports of abuse in the case of young woman and children in the Texas sect of Fundalmentalist Church of  Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints who practice polygamy.  This same woman, Rozita Swinton, has been accused of filing false reports as recently as April 16 in another case.

          The problem is…the supposed victim that called in the report…is missing; if she exists at all.  Now, all of these young woman and children/teens have been removed and seperated from their families and many have been placed into foster care.  Is all of this trauma for naught? 

           Legally, if they can’t find the alledged victim…is there even a case?  And obviously, if there are cases of young woman who are forced or coerced into marriage with adult husbands before they are 18 years of age and are having babies…that is against the law.  So, what if all of these children go through this removal and seperation only to have the case thrown out….this is a terrible cost…all of this emotional damage.

          Will the legality of this whole intervention be challenged?  What will happen to the women and children who have been put in this horrible circumstance.  Will they find the help they need to go on and live a normal life?  What about all of the children in foster care…will they be reunited with appropriate family members?

           Even if it is proven that this woman Rozita Swinton lied and had no knowledge of actual abuse…will those same young woman and children be protected from further “real” sexual and emotional abuse?  Things to think about here, definately.

       

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Foster Care En Masse-Child Brides and Their Children

        Say what you want about “religous” groups that segregate themselves away from society…but, the children are the innocents in those situations; the children involved in the Fundalmentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints are probably going to end up in foster care en masse.  There have been claims of physical, sexual, spiritual and emotional abuse; enough reasons to remove children in every state in America.

         In Texas, more than 400 children were removed.  This group practices polygamy..having more than one mate.  The problem is with this particular group is that it is alledged that the adult men forced or coerced young female child brides to get married and to have marital relations.  This is illegal.  In almost all cultures in the United States this is considered sexual child abuse.  What is worse is that these men used God to validate their right to abuse these children; making them feel like they were sinful for not wanting these marriages.  They found a bed in the church where the female children were “spiritually married” and then traumatized.

        Some of the young mothers went with their children to the place where the protective services placed the children.  Some of the other mothers did not.  However, some of them are saying that they are being denied access to their children.  They all have to be fearful and  anxious about what happens next.

         Foster care for this large of a number of children is going to be overwhelming to the foster care system.  The thing of it is…in my mind, the young mothers are also considered  to be of an age to be placed into foster care themselves, if the prosecutors deem that indeed they have been abused.   They are going to need counseling for years to come.   I don’t think that there is much doubt that they have been abused in all kinds of ways. The children and mothers will need lots of support. 

         This investigation is going to be huge.  It is going to take many hours and lots of investigative staff to wade through the evidence and organize it into some sort of legal presentation for the court system.  I worry about the children, who will almost certainly be placed into the foster care system, becoming more damaged from the long process.

         Living this type of different lifestyle is one thing; but, being thrust into another whole world is going to be even more traumatic.  They will be seperated from their mothers and siblings in some cases.  If this investigation and eventual prosecution of their fathers is not done in some sort of speedy fashion the “help” can cause additional, emotional damage.

        The news said that the investigators had an informant in the “religious compound” for four years gathering evidence.  Just think how much horror and abuse was done in that amount of time.  I understand that they had to get “enough” evidence to be able to prosecute without allowing charges to be dismissed for “lack of evidence”; but really, four years?  How many female children were raped and forced to produce children every 10 months or so?

       One  story was released that there was a young 16 year old girl who had given birth four times already.  That is horrible.  Surely, some of that had to have taken place during the informants time in the compound. 

       These child brides were the victims; they were often forced to marry middle-aged men who already had other wives as well.  I have heard some comments online from people holding these women just as accountable as the men who were in control of daily life.  I beg to differ.  I think when it comes down to it…these women were forced…they were brainwashed, and they were conditioned or raised up to believe that this was acceptable.  I think it is going to take the wisdom of Solomon to figure out legal accountability. 

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