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Archive for the ‘responsibility’ Category

I know people who are struggling, people who have cut back in every conceivable way to save money just to stay afloat.  I also know people who are living very comfortably in nice homes, with fancy vehicles, going out to eat regularily and have no worries when it comes to bills or their health.  The world definately has classes of people who are in the haves and the have nots.  There is also a large population of people who are somewhere in the middle.  The thing is…we all have things that we could share.  Blessings come in many packages.

Everyone of us has gifts, talents, finances, possessions, strengths, knowledge or time that we could share with others.  What I love to celebrate and learn about are those who share those blessings with others without thought or expectation of getting something back from that experience of sharing.

Our society is going through some amazingly challenging times…people are struggling.  We need to be aware of others around us who are in need…those who could use a little pick me up.  It could be a kind word, a nice deed, financial gift, or it could be a sharing of knowledge that could bring a positive change to another.   There is a spiritual attitude that I love, it says this: “Those to whom much is given, much is expected in return”.  I call that an attitude of gratitude; being thankful for all that you have been blessed with and a willingness to share it with others!   I challenge you to find some way to bless others in your daily life.   Consider this a compassionate call to action…what can you give to others with no strings attached?

I have moved my site to a new Url: WriteWhereYouAre if you are interested in reading more blog posts!

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This weekend was certainly an eye-opener for me regarding teen activities when parents aren’t around.  I work with youth all of the time, I am the parent of 6 children-three of which are adults and three are under the age of 18.  I took my younger three children, plus 3 ten year old girls to the movies with my husband to celebrate the 10th birthday of my youngest child.  I took them to a family movie-a PG movie.  It should have been safe right?  Wrong!

The movie was fine…don’t get me wrong here…the problem was a couple of audience members.  We were seated in the back of the small theater because of the size of our group…there were 8 of us.  We were spread out because the teens didnt want to sit with mom and dad (of course) and the girls didn’t want to sit with the teen boys (of course) and so we took up the end seats of three rows.  A group of three teens approached my  teen boys, who happened to be in the last row in the back, and asked them if they would mind moving down to the end the line.   They did move with no fuss.  There were two girls and a boy; no parental guidance, I might add.

As the movie began, so did the engines of one of those girls and the boy.   Right from the get go, it was obvious why they wanted my sons to move farther down the line and to the inside wall of the theater.  They were not interested in the movie shall we say.  They were there for one reason only…even though they had a chaperone…a female of about the same age.  What age is that, you may ask?  Well, they appeared to be all of about 12 or 13…at the most 14 years of age.   Understand what I am saying here…they were approximately two to four years older than the birthday girl and her friends. (more…)

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     Isn’t it sad to see someone who was once considered beautiful, sexy, popular and much sought after turned into an empty shell?  In other words a hottie turned into a nottie?  One of the big misconceptions that the media portrays on men and women is that all you have to do to be successful is to be attractive, popular and available.  If a person falls into that trap and doesn’t develop some deeper qualities and values in life…eventually, the emptiness turns a person into a sad, shell of a person who seeks attention in the only way they know how; displaying what they consider to be their only value…their body.

        You see this all of the time in the world of celebrities…but everyday people often fall into that trap as well.  Beauty, youth, and popularity all pass away in time…what’s left is the spirit, the mind, and their purpose in life.  If those aren’t developed along the way…the search for meaning is sometimes mis-directed onto meaningless relationships, trendy pseudo-religions, drugs/alcohol abuse, and endless dramatic attempts to seek attention. 

         As a society we need to devalue the attention that the media puts on empty pursuits by public role models.  We need to encourage those sports figures, politicians, and celebrities who are doing positive…purposeful things in life.  Quite giving time and attention to those who are living on the edge and doing nothing more with the gifts in their lives than pursuing selfish and destructive behaviors.  In raising our children, we need to develop character building, self esteem, and goals of reaching out to others. 

          We do this by teaching them to discover how to connect to others, give back to those who are less fortunate in life, teach them spiritual fulfillment, and to value their bodies by encouraging modesty and healthy self- esteem building techniques. 

           I dont like seeing young guys or gals flaunting their bodies or their finances to gain attention; I like it even less when i see a 40-60 year old who talks, acts, spends, and dresses like a teenager…because that is the only way they know to attract members of the opposite sex.   Let’s encourage an attitude of growth, respect, confidence, and personal development as a way of life!

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        A man, Denis Beaudoin,  who donated sperm for Nayda Suleman during a 3 year relationship, that they shared 10-12 years ago, suspects that he maybe the father of ,at least, her older six children; not to mention the possiblity of being the father of her 8 newborn babies.    Nayda has been the focus of much speculation and news reporting since giving birth to the babies; she has been referred to as the Octo-mom in the press.  All 14 of her children have been conceived by invitro fertilization.  Nayda says that all of her children are the product of invitro-fertilization from the same sperm donor.  Denis Beaudoin says that he knew Nayda Suleman when their friends nicknamed her giggles for her infectious laugh.  (more…)

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Well, this past week has been a lesson on nurturing my blog.  This past week was a week out of the ordinary and I was not able to nurture my blog in the way that I normally do.  I began to think on that thought.  A blog is a bit like a baby…it needs to be nurtured to grow and prosper.

How do you nurture a blog, you ask?  First things first, if you have a blog already you need to evaluate it’s well-being.  If you do not have a blog…begin one.  You need to think about what your blog is intended to accomplish.  Mine was initially set up to develop some discipline, commitment, and to help improve my writing.  As it evolved, I learned more…and therefore; I have discovered what I want and need.  Some of those things have changed with time; and now, I know that  my blog needs some adjustments.   That is ok, it is called growing pains; things that don’t grow become stagnant…they wither and die.  If your goals change for your blog, then you must make changes.  That knowledge requires some re-evaluation.  (more…)

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        Oh I forgot about this, a couple of weeks ago i watched the ABC television show Wife Swap.  Normally i do not watch this show as it is a bit too over the top dramatic for me .  I don’t know why I ended up watching this time, but I did.   I probably shouldn’t have because it was outrageous and offensive to me.  This is one wife swap drama that  they probably shouldn’t have televised.

         The one husband appeared to be an elitist…a snob of a royal kind.  He was rude, insulting…condescending and very emotionally cruel to the wife that was swapped to his home.  He came across as a total jerk.  He tried to change the game halfway through the program.  He refused to change the rules or activities like other families do during the second week; he threatened to stop the show, he ignored the swapped wife; and, he encouraged his children to do the same. 

        If you have never seen this show… it is a show where two families swap wives/mothers with each other.  Of course, the families for dramatic reasons are two exact opposites when it comes to lifestyles or practices.   When the women change places…they do as the family normally does the first week….during the second week, everything changes and the women implement changes/rules that they think would better or improve that family.

         This particular show, Stephen Fowler, was openly hostile, rude, emotionally critical, verbally abusive and controlling.  He made statements about middle  class Americans who he referred to as Rednecks.  He called the “wife” fat, lazy, ignorant, stupid…etc.  He insulted her education.   It crossed the boundaries of dramatic television and entered into nothing but abusive conduct, in my opinion.

        It seems that Mr. Fowler is now experiencing a huge backlash about his conduct and his wounding words.  Rightly so!  He tried to be so superior to everyone and everything that he came across to be very boorish.  I thought his wife, in retrospect, was fairly decent in her dealings with her family that she was swapped to; for the most part, at least until she was reunited with her husband. 

          At first, when his behavior came to light, during the meeting between families at the end of the show…she appeared to be somewhat ashamed of the things  when she was told of what he said and did.   Still, a person who conducts themselves so very openly and unapologetically towards another person…has to have exhibited that sort of behavior before,  i would think.  How could anyone allow their children to be raised around that level of contempt and disrespect for others?  How will those children relate to others in the future? 

        I thought to myself, if I were his wife…i would be ashamed to show my face because people would know what kind of a man she had married.   I would wonder if people thought that I thought the same things about others that her husband appeared to believe.   I also thought, a man who appeared to be filled with such contempt for others should not be allowed to have so much influence on young children’s minds  (he and his wife had children there who watched how he treated the swapped wife).    He was demonstrating cruelty to another fellow human being; simply because he thought she deserved his contempt.   

          But at the end of the show, both Mr. Fowler and his wife,  left me feeling glad that I no longer had to listen to him.  I really though that he could win an award for the most offensive person on television that week for sure; if someone would take a vote.

        I guess Mr and Mrs. Fowler’s neighbors are frustrated because people are driving by their home and pointing; and, someone even egged the Fowler’s home.  Someone has been passing out fliers with the Fowler’s name, address, and pictures on it.  These things are not ok.    Of course, the neighbors did nothing wrong…so this of course, affects them too.

         This printing of fliers, finger pointing traffic, and egging  is considered harassment.    Of course, no one should condone harassment or violence towards anyone…however, Mr. Fowler certainly struck a chord with many people.  It would appear that by his own words he behaved like a jerk and people were not ok with that.  

          Most people who have such a strong opinion towards others learn to keep it to themselves; or, find a more appropriate way to express themselves; rather than going on national television.    This past week, it was announced that Prince Harry, of Great Britain, is going to be taking sensitivity training because of something that he said about another person.   It would appear that being sensitive towards those who are different, from ourselves, is something many of us could benefit from.

        

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       Grrrr…I am a bit torn on this news item; whether to feel more anger or sadness.  It seems that a young 18 year old woman found out that she was pregnant.  She went to a clinic to have an abortion and was given medicine to dialate her cervix to prepare for an abortion procedure.  Before the doctor could perform the abortion…the medication caused her to deliver her baby daughter at just 23weeks of pregnancy.

       A clinic owner allegedly came in and cut the umblical cord and put the child who was struggling to breathe into a red plastic biohazard bag and threw the child in the trash…all as the mother watched in horror.  Allegedly a doctor came in and gave her some medicine to calm her down and sent her home in shock.  The police were called and the child’s remains were identified by DNA as being related to the mother.  Now the mother has sued the doctor and the clinic where the delivery/abortion took place; the doctor has allegedly lost his license.

         This procedure took the life of a human baby almost three years ago.  That child would be walking, talking, singing it’s abc’s , potty training…and maybe even going to pre-school now.  She would be making her mother or another mother figure (she could have been adopted by another mother) mother’s day cards in May…she was not a blob of flesh like so many of these clinics try to tell young women.  She would be a daughter, and a granddaughter; if she could.

        The mother allegedly has said that she changed her mind about the abortion, once she saw her daughter  alive; now she is traumatized by the memory of watching her child struggle for breathe and being tossed away like a bag of garbage.   I am sure that the legal question was did the abortion come first/or the birth…was the child actually born alive?  Testing supposedly revealed that the child did actually breathe, so that means that she was born alive.

        So, who is to blame for this child’s death?  Is it the clinic owner, who by the way did not have a license to practice medicine allegedly?  Or was it the doctor who was not present?  Was it the mother who went in for an abortion in the first place?  Is it society who allows abortion in the first place?  Do we blame the makers of contraception for possibly having failed the mother and father of the child?  Who exactly is at fault?  I say, it is all of the above; at least morally, if not legally. 

        First of all, I believe that abortion is wrong.  I think that if it is true that a clinic owner, who was not a medical doctor, did what has been alledged, then they are also at fault.  I think if the doctor perscribed the medication that caused her to go into labor and deliver a live child that was indeed tossed away in a plastic bag when it was struggling to breath…they that doctor is also wrong.  Was there contraception used in the first place?  I dont know.  I do know that if the teenaged mother was having sex..she should have understood the consequences of her actions that resulted in a pregnancy and that by going to have an abortion…that that child’s death was a direct result of having medication that was designed to result in the death of the child; it should not have shocked her that the child died as a result of taking medication designed to cause said abortion.  Is society at fault here?  Yes, because we allow these things to happen …because we don’t stand up and scream bloody murder that it happens every day around the world. 

        Which came first, the  abortion or the birth?  Does it really matter at this point regarding this particular child?  No, it died needlessly.  If that mother was truly horrified by this situation…then maybe some good can come out of it by her lawsuit, by her speaking out…maybe even by doing a special service announcement on television or in the schools. 

         It is outrageous.  Yes, that child was only 23weeks in the womb of it’s mother…and yes, it may not have survived even had the clinic called for medical help or intervention for that baby…it was pre-mature…not by nature’s designs but by mankinds design.  However, it may have had a fighting chance if it had not been aborted or if it had been taken to a neo-natal unit.  Life is precious…dont abort.  That mother will relive those moments for the rest of her life.  The child didn’t get to have a rest of it’s life. 

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       As a person living in the midwest, in one of the coldest, snowiest winters in the last 25 years…i have to say i was irritated when i read that since President Obama moved into the White House the thermostat has allegedly gone up.  For a man who made it part of his campaign to encourage Americans to sacrifice for the world environment and to take on a personal responsibility regarding climate changes; I am offended by an article that i read today that says the Oval office is like a tropical hot house, warm enough to grow orchids in.  Someone needs to hold this administration accountable in these types of areas…turn down the heat on President Obama.

       Across our nation right now, many Americans are without electric or typical normal heat sources because of an ice storm, that is going to take weeks to fix.  This is during some truly challenging temperatures as our country transitions between winter and spring.

       Part of the perception of the recent, more relaxed environment in the Oval office…meaning that visitors no longer have to wear suit jackets when they enter in like the former administration; is really more about personal comfort levels.  It isn’t mainly about being relaxed in that room as much as it is about it being warm; so that wearing a suit and tie would be really uncomfortable.  While I applaude the more informal feel to this Presidency…I have to say that even the White House staff and aides have commented on the temperature change; including his chief of staff, David Axelrod who  allegedly, made the statement about the orchids growing in there.

         The article I read said something to the effect that even though President Obama comes from Chicago…he was born in Hawaii, and he likes being warm.  Well, no fake…most of us don’t enjoy being colder than is comfortable…but , what about that personal sacrifice he was talking about before?  I dont want to bust his chops on this or any other issue just for the sake of it…but…this subject is a little close to home when my own family has to keep the furnace set on 58-60 degrees because of the necessity of the high cost of heating our home.

        Another, more important reason this is so maddening is that in my home state…there have been several people who have frozen to death.  A man by the name of Marvin E. Schur, 93 years old, froze to death recently in Bay City, Michigan because the electric company put a limiter on his electric service and his home power was shut off…effectively causing his heating source to stop working.  He died…come on…was that President Obama’s fault….no!  However, when i hear polyanna remarks justifying his higher temperature on the thermostat in the Oval office; it makes me angry to know that others are SUFFERING AND DYING when there are others who have so much and are wasteful with it.  It is not right.

        So please President Obama…you have so many other more important things on your plate…turn down the heat in the White House so that your actions match your words and your call for personal responsibility.   That way, those who would otherwise be inspired by you and your goals of helping our nation turn towards more green living and a more positive use of our energy sources can get on board without having to defend your conflict of words and actions!  Be an inspirational leader so that you can have a powerful impact on our country with responsibile energy use.

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     Do you ever wonder what your personal responsibilities are?  I mean, most people understand that they must work, take care of their children, nuture their personal relationships, and pay their bills; what else is there?  Being a responsible person is a way of life; are you required to take care of others outside the close personal limits of your immediate family?  Who and what are you responsible for?  Are there limits to your responsibilty legally, physically, spiritually, emotionally or morally? 

      Have you ever heard the saying, “Are you your brother’s keeper”?  Human beings are complex creatures.  We have layers of self, one upon the other…each with their own wants and needs.  For those who are spiritual seekers of truth; there are teachings which encourage us to reach beyond the demands of our own personal flesh-n- blood, wants and needs.  My road map is the Bible.  Everything i need to know to be a successful and fulfilled person is included in that instruction manual.

       God wants us to follow his leading; we are to grow and learn how to praise him and serve others.  This is not always convienent in today’s society,  according to the world’s values. That attitude of becoming a servant requires a bit of sacrifice on our part.  Many people run from their own responsibilities and refuse to accept that they have a moral responsibility to reach out to others.   And there are others who do not consider themselves spiritual beings who still manage to be service minded…realizing that there is value to connecting with and recognizing need in others. 

      Understand, I am not talking about enabling others to continue to be irresponsible…but instead, teaching and inspiring others to take up the challenge of  meeting their own obligations when they are able.   To do that, they must be inspired, they must have knowledge, skills, opportunities and funding…once that happens, they too can become a servant to pass it on to others.

        Responsibility is something that we must strive for.  When everything is going smoothly…it is because we have acknowledged our responsibilities and have submitted ourselves to the service of God. 

        God says that we are to take care of the widows and the children; we are to befriend the poor.  When we see suffering in the world and we have the ability, the skill, the opportunity to help ,then we must consider it a priviledge and a responsibility to do so.  What are you willing to do for those around you?  Do you know someone who has a need? Can you listen when someone needs to talk, can you spend time with someone who is lonely, are you capable of performing a chore that someone else cant do and needs done? 

      There are so many ways to be of service to another fellow human being…it is simply a matter of being aware and observing those around you and being willing to be helpful.  People in need are all around us…it will change your life to see the world through the eye and heart of a servant of God.

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