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Archive for the ‘support’ Category

        There is a debate brewing about whether news media should have access to photograph the coffins of returning military men and women, killed in the line of duty, when their bodies are returned to Dover Air Force Base.  There is strong controversy about whether this should be allowed or not.  In 1991, President George H. Bush enacted a ban on the photographing of the coffins.  It just was not allowed to happen, by the order of the President.

         This has been a matter of contention.  Some people believe that allowing  the photographs could make an impact on the  minds of the citizens of the United States as to the cost of war; as the death toll rises from the wars in recent years.  There are many who feel that by not seeing the evidence of the coffins, people would not understand the depths of the sacrifice that our service persons were making.  In effect, out of sight…out of mind.  (more…)

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        I have been observing alot of situations in the news and in the events that happen around me…I’ve come to the conclusion that the secret in overcoming any challenges or events in life has to be in deciding not to let any circumstances or event define the rest of your life.  I think a person’s attitude or determination is the key factor.

        Have you ever known someone who has gotten stuck in life?  You know…the the type of person who just can’t seem to be able to get past a certain event, challenge or obstacle?  It is a person who dwells on all of the lost opportunities in life; any negative situations they have encountered, the after-effects or consequences from a trauma or difficulty that they have faced; events that have been a cross road in their life.  We all have them; so what determines who overcomes and who seems to be buried under a load of defeat?  (more…)

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      Denis Beaudoin who believes he may be the father of some of the children that Nayda Suleman (Octo-mom) gave birth to has gotten the ok to have DNA testing done to determine whether he is in fact the father of any of the children.  Nayda has 6 older children as well as the 8 newborn babies who made media history recently when they were all delivered alive. 

         Denis donated sperm to Nayda during the years that they dated between 1997-1999.  She told him she couldnt have children the traditional way because she had ovarian cancer.  They were in love at the time and wanted to have a child together.  They broke up eventually and went their seperate ways.  When he heard of these pregnancies and births…he immediately thought it was possible that he was the biological father.  Nayda denies that he is the father and has ok him having the DNA testing to prove that he is not.  Time will tell the truth about paternity.  If it rules Denis out…then the questions will begin again about who in fact is the father.  (more…)

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        A man, Denis Beaudoin,  who donated sperm for Nayda Suleman during a 3 year relationship, that they shared 10-12 years ago, suspects that he maybe the father of ,at least, her older six children; not to mention the possiblity of being the father of her 8 newborn babies.    Nayda has been the focus of much speculation and news reporting since giving birth to the babies; she has been referred to as the Octo-mom in the press.  All 14 of her children have been conceived by invitro fertilization.  Nayda says that all of her children are the product of invitro-fertilization from the same sperm donor.  Denis Beaudoin says that he knew Nayda Suleman when their friends nicknamed her giggles for her infectious laugh.  (more…)

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Well, this past week has been a lesson on nurturing my blog.  This past week was a week out of the ordinary and I was not able to nurture my blog in the way that I normally do.  I began to think on that thought.  A blog is a bit like a baby…it needs to be nurtured to grow and prosper.

How do you nurture a blog, you ask?  First things first, if you have a blog already you need to evaluate it’s well-being.  If you do not have a blog…begin one.  You need to think about what your blog is intended to accomplish.  Mine was initially set up to develop some discipline, commitment, and to help improve my writing.  As it evolved, I learned more…and therefore; I have discovered what I want and need.  Some of those things have changed with time; and now, I know that  my blog needs some adjustments.   That is ok, it is called growing pains; things that don’t grow become stagnant…they wither and die.  If your goals change for your blog, then you must make changes.  That knowledge requires some re-evaluation.  (more…)

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     If you were traveling through a poverty striken area and you had a baby of your own that you were still nursing…could you walk away from a hungry newborn baby that had nothing to eat?  Actress Salma Hayek was in Sierra Leone on a humanitarian mission…she nursed an African newborn who was starving because his mother could not produce milk for her child.  Salma was moved to feed that child.  She talked about his eyes lighting up as he began to feel the nutrition flow into his body.  She was moved in her heart to feed him; because i believe that a nursing mother can’t ignore a hungry baby that is crying out in his/her need;  that is called basic human compassion.  Still, you would think that we all had that in abundance; but, not always so, some would run the other way as quickly as they could go.

       This moment was captured on film by the news crew of  “Nightline”  who were along on the trip for Unicef , to promote the importance of tetanus vaccines.   Unicef and Pampers have a campaign called 1 Pack=1Vaccine; Salma is a spokeswoman for Pampers.  www.unicefusa.org or www.pampers.com/unicef 

         I love the message of what Salma did; purely from the standpoint of, if you see a need fill it.  Salma still is breastfeeding her own child who is approximately 1 year old.  She understands the importance of, the nutritional value as well as the bonding value of, breastfeeding. 

         Surely there will be those individuals who will criticize her for what she did.  There will be naysayers who will bring up the issue of aids and to the  possible exposure to her health or that of her own child.  They will say that she did this as a publicity stunt, or for the attention.  Some will say in the larger scheme of things…did that one feeding make a difference; will it save the life of that child.   I believe it made a difference.  I believe an African woman saw an American woman with heart.  I believe a baby felt fulfillment, comfort, and love.  I pray that the mother and child received more help.  A world saw a desperate moment and an act of love.

          I say, she was in the moment.  She saw a child in need; she felt the despair of a mother who could not provide for her child the most basic necessity in life at that time for her child; she did what she was able to do.  I love that she didn’t think twice.  Those who have been blessed in life and find themselves around others in need have a responsibility to share.  I respect Salma for doing it so very naturally.  There are so many in need around the world…what can you do to make a difference?

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Today is the day of the Caylee Anthony memorial.  This ceremony brings to light so many layers of human emotion that it takes a while to sort out how a person really feels.  This whole sad story has been in the news for quite some time now and it will be a staple in the news for a much longer period of time.  Isn’t that ok?  I mean…doesn’t a life have value far and beyond a momentary clip in the obituary section of the newspaper when that life was stolen from it’s owner?

I was annoyed this morning as I viewed my twitter feed.  There was a person who was bemoaning the fact that they were anticipating another day when the news of Orlando would be overshadowed by more news about the Anthony family; as they hold the memorial service for Caylee.  At first, i was very put out by their 140 character statement on Twitter.  Then i stopped and thought about it…I guess to some degree i can understand that there is much going on in that area that is good and newsworthy as well.  The Orlando has much positive news to report as well as this terribly sad news…so i decided to ignore the momentary bluntness of that person’s comment.

I dont live in the area which is probably a good thing.  I would most likely want to be at that service for the beautiful child Caylee; just as a sign of respect for her as an innocent life that was taken.  It is amazing the  connection that some people have to this young child, myself included.  She has touched so many lives just because of how she lived and died.  It is unfair how she passed.  It is heartbreaking that her body can’t even be at her memorial.  It is unspeakable what was done to her.  So many questions about who, what , where, when and why; but not for today.

Today is about remembering her and sharing her short life with those who were/are close to her.  Their hearts are sad and grieving.  Those who have been touched in an emotional way who did not know her will also be sad.  But that two year old life deserves to have the good and happy memories talked about and shared.  She is more than a victim.  She was a real, live breathing child who played, sang, danced and learned.

Please, reporters, media, mourners and observers…don’t focus on things that don’t matter today.  Don’t harrass the family, dont speculate, dont focus on negativity or superficial things.  Remember Caylee and remember that she had a life before she became the victim of her killer; dont turn this into a media event , or a free for all.  She had friends, relatives, neighbors and people who cared about her and loved her; let’s show some respect and support.  Don’t sully her memorial service with all the ugliness…let her have some dignity!

As a side note: I have moved my site to a new Url: WriteWhereYouAre if you are interested in reading more blog posts!

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       Last night was amazing, my daughter gave birth to her third child; without medication.  She was powerful and strong.  She did not make a peep during the natural labor until the last five minutes when she was in push labor.  It is not that she didn’t feel the pain…she did…she just refused to let it dominate her birthing experience.  It is natural to be fearful, in pain, stressed, and overwhelmed…but, I did not see that with her.  I saw focus and I saw joy and excitement …she was about to meet her child for the first time.

       The pregnancy was a bit difficult.  Many pregnancies and deliveries are.  Sometimes they are traumatic; mothers go through much to bring children into the world.  Often, I think that not enough recognition is given to a woman during this time.   It is still a miracle and because it has become safer for both mother and child…people forget that things can and do go wrong.  It can be a stressful time for both mothers and fathers.   Men also sacrifice alot for their children but pregancy and delivery is the beginning of the parenting experience.  Fathers need to be encouraged during this time to bond with both the mother and the child during the pregnancy because that is very important to both of the parents…and eventually to the child.   It is a strengthening time for the whole family…or it should be anyway!

       I watched my daughter, I prayed for her…and i was in awe.  I dont believe that i could have done it.  This was her largest child.  It is also her last pregnancy.   I told someone, who was there, that if it wasn’t for the baby trying to come early for the last 2 months; she would make being pregnant and delivering look easy.  I know it was a difficult time for her and her family as she is not used to being inactive.   It took a team of people to help bring this little one into the world.  Her mother -in -law was amazing and she sacrificed much of her time helping; as I live over an hour away.  It was greatly appreciated to know that she was giving her care, that i could not provide on a daily basis.

       Women have internal strength and personal power that they are often unaware that they possess, until they are tested and pushed beyond what they think they can endure.  Men are pretty amazing as well.   I watched my son in law as he went pale and struggled while my daughter was plunged into pain…it was a testament to his love for her to see him as he physically went through stress and misery right along with her.    Men see and experience things differently than women do.  It does not mean they aren’t feeling and being moved…they just show it and express it in different ways.    Both men and women have conflicting and complementing skills, strengths, knowledge and for that I also greatful.  We are made by God to be each other’s support and strength, and sometimes sounding board. 

         I love my daughter and I love my daughter in law.  I am thankful for their sacrifice to bring my grandchildren into the world.  Mothers are amazing…they deserve respect for many things…not the least of which, is the effort it takes to bring a child into the world.  I love my mother and I appreciate her and her sacrifice for me and my siblings.  I dont think that we can say it enough to our parents that we understand and appreciate them.

        Anytime something new is about to be accomplished or born there are great challenges, difficulties, or resistence.  It is in the struggle that value is born…the very thing which we are striving to give birth to, or that which we are trying to accomplish, is pitted against the challenges.   Is your struggle worth the effort it will take bringing it to life and nurturing it until it is fully formed?  I believe it is…whether it is giving physical birth to a child, a dream, a career, or any other goal!   What is important enough to you, to overcome the obstacles in your way?

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       Surely you have heard the news about the mother in California who gave birth to eight babies this past week; she already has six children; they are all under the age of 8.  The mother, Nadya Suleman, conceived all of her children by invitro fertilization.  She is unemployed and living in a three bedroom home with her parents.  There are so many questions about how an educated woman, could allow herself to get in this position of having 14 children with little or no support.  Many are questioning the ethics involved in allowing a single woman with 6 children and no job to get invitro fertilization in the first place; let alone, get implanted with 8 embryos.

         Part of the conflict is that people are wondering how did she come up with the money for the invitro for any of her pregnancies?  That is not cheap…let alone to have it done so many times.  Also, it is not normal procedure to implant so many embryos for one pregnancy.  Even when 4 or so embryos are implanted…it isn’t expected that all would become viable babies.  That is amazing in itself that all 8 would be viable and born.

        Now, the woman is living in a home with her parents with only three bedrooms.  There are already 6 children in the home.  Where will these babies live when they come home?  Nadya’s father is a contractor who works overseas and probably wont be around to help and the media has been reporting that Nadya’s mother is threatening to leave the home when her daughter comes home from the hospital.  She says that her daughter has been obsessed with having children her whole life; and, at some point received counseling for that obsession. 

     Nadya’s mother is saying that she is leaving.  So, that must be hard for her to even think about…but by staying would that be considered enabling her daughter or supporting her?  At this point, the babies are already here…they have been born.  The mother says that Nadya is out of embryos so that her obsession will have to end.   I think that is a good thing. 

         The question is…if Nadya truly has an obsession…why wasn’t that dealt with before this latest pregnancy?   Will the department of human services get involved to ensure that all 14 children are being cared for properly?  Will a social worker be assigned to the family to co-ordinate some kind of system to make sure that everyone is doing what needs to be done to support this family?  Who will pay for that since Nadya doesn’t work and her parents have filed for bankruptsy within the last couple of years?  The state of California, where she lives, certainly can’t afford to pay for that. 

         The medical expenses alone for this pregnancy will be astronomical.  Babies born prematurely will have huge medical bills from the birth and caregiving alone…not to mention possible life-long disabilities that they could face.  I heard, dont know if it is fact, that one of the older children has possible autistic tendencies.  That too, would be a big financial concern.

         All 14 children were allegedly fathered by the same sperm donor.  Does he bare any legal, financial, or moral responsibility?  Do you think he knows about the children…or do you think it is an annoymous sperm donor?  If he knows about the children…should he be legally forced to help provide physical and financial support?

          News programs were speaking today about the possibility of Nadya selling her “story” to Oprah’s show or maybe even Diane Sawyer for ABC news for something like $2million dollars.  Do you think that is appropriate or inappropriate?

           I at first thought…that is not cool.  She should have to work to provide for those children herself.  But then, reality set in…child care fees alone would take every penny that she makes; and she would still be a drain to the tax payers.  Not to mention…who in their right mind would take the responsibility of providing care for 14 children, all at once?  Another thing, if she was working round the clock to provide for them…she wouldn’t have any time to dedicate to the emotional needs of her children.  If she can’t make money from her “story” then…she would just be another single mother who supported her children from the money the rest of us tax payers pay in…and that is definately not ok with me. 

         As much as I dont like the idea of selling her story to the highest bidder…it is the lessor of two evils.  I dont think the American public (or California tax payers) should foot the financial or medical bills of that family.   Children are a blessing…i do believe in pro-life values.  However, this was a definate abuse of  the system to create a family.  Not the invitro itself…because i think that does provide an avenue for many families who have trouble conceiving children.  However, she already had children…she was not supporting them herself.  That was already a drain on her family and the tax payers assumably.  I do think it was unethical of whatever medical clinic that provided it’s fertility services to her, in her situation. 

         But, on the other hand, once they did enable her to conceive…I heard that she was offered selective termination of some of the fetuses to offer them a better chance of being born without difficulties.  I am glad that she did not terminate any of the babies…because i believe that is murder.  It is a terrible no win situation…but , life is life…and whatever she is able to do to legally support those children should be done.

         I do think if she is indeed offered a large sum of money…she should be court ordered to repay the tax payers for any support or monies that she/her family has received from the tax payers as no one else had the choice about how many children she chose to bring into the world.  I truly would be surprised if some reform or investigation is not performed to question the medical and legal ethics of this situation.  What are your thoughts on this story?

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     Ok, I am going to rant a bit for a minute.  Twice this week the news has hit us with two terrible stories about families that self-destructed through murder-suicide.  Two families that were destroyed.  One family in particular left a suicide note allegedly saying that the reason they were dead was because both the husband and the wife lost their jobs…were in debt…and were rejected by their employers.  The other family’s reasons have not yet been announced.  The family members allegedly say that there was no clues to this tragedy.  What i want to know is…can we stop families from hurting the ones that they love?  Yes we can, encourage them to seek help:  http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/  Each time something like this happens…those who were lost leave behind friends, family members, neighbors, acquaintances and community members who are hurt, confused and saddened.   We have to take care of each other and learn to be more in tune with those around us.  (more…)

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