Man Shoes- Book Review

Wow!  Can I just tell you what a joy it was to read, Man Shoes-The Journey To Becoming A Better Man, Husband & Father?  It is my privilege to review this book; I believe that the author, Tom Watson, has some real valuable wisdom to offer his readers.   Tom  was born to parents ill prepared to raise a child in a healthy & life affirming way.  He was placed into 13 different foster homes…some of which were little more than a systemic form of a physical & psychological torture chamber. 

Tom was placed into foster care because his Aunt Donna & Uncle Roy found the courage to report the erratic parental care that infant Tom was experiencing.  His parents would drop him off here and there and neglect to pick him up at the times that they agreed to.  At one year of age, he became a foster child because his aunt and uncle found the strength of character to endure family censure by reporting the situation to the proper authorities.  Tom expresses his gratefulness to them for doing so…even though he suffered greatly in multiple foster homes until he came to the place where his body and soul were nurtured.  His life story actually proceeds with joy and gratefulness.  To read the rest of this review go to:  Book In Review

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Self Esteem And Relationships

This past weekend I had what I would call an eye opening moment concerning self esteem and interpersonal relationships.  My pre-teen daughter had a couple of friends overnight.  These girls spend many hours together at school but this was the first time that they had an overnight together.  All three are high energy girls and each one is a bit of a diva.  So, I didn’t expect the weekend to go without a hitch. However, as the girls got comfortable I started to hear comments and partial comments that made me stop and listen a little more closely.  The reason for that?  Continue reading:  Write Where You Are

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Valuable Gems-Shining A Light On Life Changing Non Profit Organizations

Have you ever met an individual that is so rare and special that you could compare them to a valuable gem?  Let me tell you about such a person, Jessica Angelique, who has a passionate mission in life to shine a light on life changing non for profit organizations.  Jessica has had an interesting life full of ups and downs and because of that she has dedicated her life to making the world a better place.  Her heart has been drawn to organizations that help build people up and educate them; which allows them to positively impact the world for the better.  She is in need of help to continue to expand her ability to impact the world by educating them through a wonderful opportunity called the Pepsi Refresh Project.

Pepsi is offering up an opportunity to win a $250,000 grant to those who win the most votes in their category.  Jessica Angelique is the creator and executive director of Definitive Voices.   She is also an author who has written of her life’s journey; navigating through the challenging foster care system into a positive, purpose filled adulthood.   She uses her voice to empower people and organizations to be aware and proactive in their communities to build up those in need.

Through Definitive Voices Jessica uses social media to shine a light on individuals and organizations that are doing their best to help people improve the world through education, awareness, and hands on action that is changing the lives of those they encounter.  Jessica needs your help by getting you to go to this link and vote for her Definitive Voices so that she can expand her ability to positively impact the lives of others.  It only takes a couple of seconds once you register and sign in using an active email and a Pepsi password.  Here is the link to cast your vote daily until the 28th of February: http://www.refresheverything.com/definitivevoices . 

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Guilt By Association?-Friends, Family Members & Business Associates of Bernie Madoff

You know that Bernie Madoff has plead his guilt to the court in the securities fraud case against him, as well as  perjury; however, the investigators who are delving into this long -term Ponzi scam are allegedly, having to investigate his business associates, some of his family members, and his tax accountant too.  There is so much missing money…that many observers automatically assume that the money has been hidden among those that he has personal relationships with; whether that is true or not, remains to be seen.

It leaves the impression of guilt by association, though this is unfortunate, because many of them may not have had any idea about the fraud that was taking place.   I personally doubt whether he advertised the fact of what he was doing, to his friends and family; it isn’t something most people would be proud of.    I am thinking about his wife in particular; did she know where the money in their lives came from?  She is also allegedly, being investigated; and, unless she had direct involvement in the day-to-day business operations…how would she know what he did while he was at work?

Still, if the money in their accounts is  found to be accumulated from the fraud; the government could confiscate it couldn’t they?  His own family members could end up being “victims” of his actions, just as well as, those who lost so much financially!  Bernie will be sentenced for his crimes in June.   What the additional investigation finds, will also determine what happens to the others that are being investigated by their association with Bernie Madoff.  Bernie may have plead guilty, but, if this investigation negatively impacts his friends and family…you have to wonder if he will actually feel any guilt!

In this kind of a case, the cloud of suspicion could literally destroy many more lives than those that have already been destroyed.  If Bernie Madoff could admit his guilt in court…why can’t he just be honest and tell the investigators where the money is?   Maybe if some of the money could be found…maybe some of the people who were ripped off could get some of their money back.  If he is keeping that missing money information to himself…it could destroy those that he supposedly cares about, such as his wife, children, business associates and such.  Let the guilty be found out…and the innocent be proven so; still, what if the money is found  in their accounts without their having knowledge of the scam?

So many lives have been destroyed by this security fraud…this Ponzi scam this abuse of trust, it is sickening.  People have lost so much of their money that they counted on to survive.  It makes a person intensely frustrated and angry that Mr. Madoff will be sitting in a prison cell…getting three meals a day and all of his basic needs will be met; while his “victims” future is still up in the air.  The levels of trust and responsibility that we put in our leaders is immense and needs honored by meeting those levels of trust and responsibility and exceeding it!  This damages everyone’s ability to trust those in authority, who’s decisions affect our lives…has it affected how you trust people?

I have moved my site to a new Url:  WriteWhereYouAre if you are interested in more blog posts!

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Sorry, Ashamed and Guilty-Bernie Madoff

      Breaking news today at the hearing for Bernie Madoff, financial investor; Bernie has plead guilty to all of the charges against him in one of the largest investigations ever into a Ponzi scheme which ripped off both celebrities and everyday people alike.  Madoff has admitted that he knowingly took money and mis-handled it and lied about it under oath; while actively hiding his activities.

       Bernie Madoff made statements to the court that he is sorry, ashamed and acknowledges that he has hurt many people; he admitted his guilt.  Those statements are some of the biggest understatements ever made.  There are those who have lost their life savings, some who have allegedly committed suicide over their financial situations, others who have need of medical interventions that could save their lives…but now, cannot afford to have done, people who can’t afford to pay their rent/mortgages because of the deliberate actions of Mr. Madoff. 

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Military Deaths, Should Those Photographs Be Published?

        There is a debate brewing about whether news media should have access to photograph the coffins of returning military men and women, killed in the line of duty, when their bodies are returned to Dover Air Force Base.  There is strong controversy about whether this should be allowed or not.  In 1991, President George H. Bush enacted a ban on the photographing of the coffins.  It just was not allowed to happen, by the order of the President.

         This has been a matter of contention.  Some people believe that allowing  the photographs could make an impact on the  minds of the citizens of the United States as to the cost of war; as the death toll rises from the wars in recent years.  There are many who feel that by not seeing the evidence of the coffins, people would not understand the depths of the sacrifice that our service persons were making.  In effect, out of sight…out of mind. 

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Someone’s Going To Lose Their Job

      Today, pictures that show the trauma that singer Rihanna  allegedly suffered at the hands of her boyfriend singer, Chris Brown were released.  If it is true that these are authentic police pictures; someone is going to lose their job.   It is awful that someone could profit from providing this picture to a media outlet…whether they profitted for fame, for money, or purely for the ability to be in control over the picture.  When it is discovered, through the internal police investigation, who the person is who released it…they will instantly become a very unpopular person.  It must take a tremendous amount of lack of compassion and integrity to give yourself permission to profit from someone else’s pain and misery! 

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Grammy No Show-Chris Brown and Rihanna: Domestic Violence Charges

      Both Chris Brown and his girlfriend, Rihanna, were scheduled to be performers on the Grammy Awards show last night.  They did not show up.  Today, word comes out in news reports that Chris Brown is being accused of a domestic violence assault,  of an undeclared female who allegedly Id’ed him as the abuser; this is a felony, if convicted.

        It is alledged that Chris Brown and his girlfriend Rihanna were driving and got into an argument and stopped the vehicle.  Allegedly both exited the vehicle and continued the argument.  The argument became heated and someone placed an emergency call to 911.  When the police arrived they found the victim at the scene of the altercation.  Chris Brown had allegedly left the area.  The victim had visible injuries.

         Chris Brown has been booked for making criminal threats and it is alledged that there could be more charges filed in the future.  He posted a large amount of bail and was released.  The spokesperson for Rihanna did not confirm or deny reports…supposedly just expressed Rihanna’s well being, and thanked everyone for their concern.

          I remember for quite some time at the beginning of their relationship, it was kept hush- hush about the rumors of their romance.  Chris is only 19 years old and Rihanna is 20; if this domestic assault did indeed happen between these two, it is going to have long reaching consequences.  Domestic violence is a huge problem; it affects everyone, whether personally or through someone that they know.  It’s an issue that destroys many lives. 

         It doesn’t help that as public figures, both Chris and Rihanna, are viewed as role models.  Because of their fans, many will be watching this situation closely.   Of course there is concern for both party’s well-being; at the same time, how they handle this situation personally and professionlly, will be important. 

         Domestic violence can never be condoned.  Often times, drugs or alcohol play a part, as well as stress, anger issues, and financial strains.  Those are underlying causes for many instances of domestic violence; but, they should never be a justification for harming another person. 

         If this alledged assualt is swept under the rug by the PR machine, it will do a grave disservice to both men and women.   Teens and young adults, who are aware of this situation, will be learning from it.  What they learn will be determined by how it is handled by both Chris Brown and the victim…whoever she is.  The seriousness of it should not be spun by those trying to minimize the professional damage to the entertainers…it is more important to address the issues for both of them; they are so young and they have their whole lives ahead of them.  It would be wrong to allow this alledged incident to be downgraded to a misunderstanding if there truly was domestic violence.  None of us were there and know what really happened…hopefully, there will be healing for everyone involved.

         There are so many layers of emotions involved for family members, friends and the general public as well as those involved in a domestic dispute.  Counseling is helpful, support of family and friends who are informed and not enablers is crucial.  Getting professional help when dealing with these issues is a healthy way to work through them and prevent them from becoming a pattern in personal relationships; it may just save someone’s life.

          Often domestic violence is about power and control.  Those two issues are present in every relationship; how those issues are addressed is important they can be handled in a healthy way or they can be ignored allowing a dangerous situation to get out of control.    Domestic violence is being  abused,  used, overwhelmed,  intimidated, coerced, controlled or humiliated; that is when the balance of the relationship crosses over into dysfunction.   For anyone experiencing an abusive or dyfunctional relationship there is help available:  http://www.ndvh.org/ .  Please reach out for help, because often these thing get worse as time goes on.  No one wants to be in that situation…please get help before it is too late.

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A False Memoir-Don’t Blame Oprah

       Yes Oprah is rich and powerful, yes, people hang on her every word…but, with the recent memoir, “Angel at the Fence” written by Herman Rosenblat; some people are looking to point blame at Oprah after finding out that the memoir was based on a falsehood.   Come on, don’t blame Oprah!

        Look the thing is…Oprah gives her endorsement to books that move her.  So what, if this book was written as a work of fiction the story would still be good.  The alleged falsehood of how the couple in the book met; upon which the premise of the book was based, is not any reflection on Oprah.  Herman was a survivor of a concentration camp.  He told a version of meeting his wife as having taken place when the “angel” would bring him apples and bread to the fence of the concentration camp…virtually keeping him alive and helping him to survive the experience.  

         In truth,what was promoted as a love story extraordinare was a lie; they actually met on a blind date many years after his experiences in the concentration camp.  It is a terrible thing to tell everyone a lie about the roots of his marriage; expecting others to perpetuate the myth…just to sell a book.  The Rosenblat’s son did not agree with the falsehood and says he didn’t want anything to do with it. But think about this, when people that his family knew learned of the the writing of the book…and were complimentary….how did his parents expect him to act?  Was he supposed to swallow the truth and pretend that the story being told was the truth?  Or was he to contradict his parents whom I am sure he loves?  What a predictament to put your child in!

         Even though the beginning of the Rosenblat’s relationship is said to be untrue…Herman’s experiences of survival in the concentration camp would have been a very good memoir; one which would have stood up well enough on it’s own, without the lie.  But, the lie is on the author…not on someone who read the book and recommended the book to others not knowing the truth.

          So, again I say…don’t blame Oprah for something in which she had no way of knowing was untrue.  If anything, it should reflect back on the publishing industry.  They are responsible for how they publish and package a book.  If they are going to put a description of the book as a memoir…then they have the responsibility of determining whether or not it is in fact a memoir.  Still, a memoir is a recollection of how one remembers events from their past…and unless the person in charge of publishing the book was there in the past…there has to be some free benefit of doubt that the author is telling the truth.  Ultimately, it is the author of the book that is responsible for whether or not the truth is being published.  In this case, no one else carries the weight of the falsehood more than the person who KNOWS IT IS A FALSEHOOD! 

        The sad thing is that this experience and others like it…only make it tougher for writers to break into an industry that is already famous for being difficult to get published in.   Who deserves to lose the loss of respect over this book for an abuse of trust…the publishers, the author, Oprah or the agents , or the publicity people?

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Annoying Fines–Annoyed People Now Have Legal Recourse

     Here is an interesting story in the news…it seems that people who annoy others are now being held legally responsible and can receive fines for their annoying behavior.  Those who have been annoyed now have legal recourse against those who continually display behavior that is alarming, annoying, or serves no legitimate purpose.  Wow!  That is interesting.

     In Brighton, Michigan starting January 17, 2009…the new ordinance will begin.  It will also be against the law to molest anyone, to insult them,  annoy or accost them.  Hmmm, one wonders about the potential limitations, of such of a law or ordinance.  Who decides what constitutes legal annoyance?  Will there be guidelines as to what is just a frustration, and what is over the top and prosecutable?

       All that i could think of when i heard about this was; that it was a good thing that the law was not viable in my own home between my children….everything they do annoys each other some days!  🙂  I can just see it in homes across the nation, can’t you?  Mom…make him/her stop…they won’t leave me alone…so and so took my seat…he/she is annoying me…Mooooooooooommmmmmmmmmm!!!  Good thing we don’t have to pay fines against annoying each other in families…don’t ya think?  I mean…really stop and think about this law…is it going to have a positive impact on the community of Brighton?

       It would seem like this type of law has unlimited potential for frivolous lawsuits by people with grudges against one another.   It has a price tag of a $500.00 fine; which is no small thing.   I think that the courts will eventually resent having every little dispute brought before the bench…but, the fee that the court would levy against those violating the new law would help them to overcome the inconvience and  resentment associated with enforcing such a new law.  What do you think…will this be something that catches on around the country?  Should it?  Does a law like this have the power to be abused?  Should there be some kind of written guidelines or consequences to prevent someone from fraudulently accusing innocent people?

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