Making Someone Feel Loved

Tonight was a lesson in making someone feel loved and cherished.  A young lady who has been missing from our community for personal reasons returned for a brief reunion with the people who truly care about her; I think it surprised her.  It was emotional; she was embraced and verbally told that she was loved; that she was missed, and that everyone hoped to see her again soon.  This is a young woman who needs to understand how much she is loved…because she struggles with that.   She has been in pain and because of that…she has put herself through more than she needed to in her journey to adulthood.

Some people struggle with understanding love and accepting love in their life.  Whether they don’t feel worthy of being loved or they just dont feel love for themselves in the first place; it is a difficult position to be in.  Everyone needs love in their lives.  They need to give it and they need to receive it.  It needs to be unconditional…without strings attached.

It was a moving moment to see this young female teen enter into a room full of people and be moved to tears by the response of those people.  I actually felt as though she was a sponge and was able to the first time in her life realize how much others care for her and accept it!  If only everyone who is sad, lonely, angry, or hurt could feel the same kind of reassurance in their life that they are deserving of love.  Do you know someone who needs a compassionate hug or a reassuring word?

I have moved my site to a new Url: WriteWhereYouAre if you are interested in reading more blog posts!

Advertisement

Read Full Post »

Special Needs-Growing Up Special Isn’t Easy

      If you are the parent of a special needs child then you know that growing up special in today’s world is not easy.  Finding ways to help your child be successful and to be as independent as they can be is often a challenge.  Too often those children, or young adults, are shuffled off to a seperate area or to a “special” program.  Acceptance is sometimes hard to come by.

        Therefore, it is vitally important to create an environment where your special person is accepted, loved, encouraged and challenged to spread their wings.  Finding appropriate venues to integrate them with “normal” or “average” peers is difficult. 

        When you are able to find a good fit…often you must force yourself to stand back and let them do and be.  That is easier said than done.  As a parent you are always in a protective mode…and you should be…but…you must also let them be as independent as they can be without interference.  🙂 

          Do you have some great experience that you could share with other parents of special needs children or children who have been adopted who struggle with issues?  If so, others could benefit from your successes and possibly even your struggles.  Check out this blog:  http://www.growingupspecial.com/  Introduce yourself and leave a comment.  You never know…you just might find others to share with. 

          

Read Full Post »

Child Abandonment-Baby Don’t Cry

       Baby don’t cry…it is not your fault.  When you are old enough to know your story…know that it is not your fault.  It has happened for generations…people abandon their children.   It is wrong, but they do it for many reasons…all sad reasons, all heartbreaking…but, what it comes down to is a lacking.

        A lacking of something that is required to parent you little one.  Some parents are lacking money, some are lacking appropriate housing or clothing, some are lacking parenting skills.  Even worse, some are lacking a very basic, important connection…a bonding of parent to child; it is called love.  This is not normal.  This is not your fault.  The lacking is theirs and theirs alone; don’t let it define you.  Their failure to provide what you need does not wipe away your right to have those things that children need to grow and be whole.   You deserve to have what every child should have…love and acceptance. 

       There are many who would adopt you; love you and give you everything you need to be successful in life.  It is sad that your birth parents could not for whatever reason of lacking, be the people to give you what you need.  However, when you are able to read and understand it all…hopefully, you will have been adopted and cared for appropriately.  I hope that you received that love; and, now know that you are part of a family who wanted you, and needed you to be part of them.  The parts of you that feel empty or unfulfilled, because of the unknowns about your birth family, probably will never be fully satisfied.  Let it be enough to know that the circumstances that lead to your being abandonned are not a statement of anything that was wrong with you as a person.

         A small newborn child was abandoned in Charlotte, North Carolina in the last few days.  Children are being abandoned all around the world.  There are many who would love these children were they to enter into the foster/adoptive legal system in the right kind of way.  Why are parents dumping their children?

        When you are able to read this, or some other piece that addresses such issues…and  you have learned about your abandonment; don’t try to seek further information.  It will only hurt you more.  There are no answers that will satisfy your heart’s desire to be loved and accepted by the people who gave you up.  For each answer that is given to justify such actions will just trigger another “what if you had done this or that…could you have kept me then” question.  It is a never ending circle of emotional hurt.   

        It is not a reflection upon you…babies and children are easy to love.  You have done nothing wrong to be rejected…it is a fault inside of that person that by some miracle was able to give you life.  Unfortunately, abortion (infant death) is an option in today’s world..so, choosing life was a very positive thing.   Maybe that is the most that they had to give you; LIFE, it IS an important gift. 

       Your true source of life comes from God above.  You are here in this world because he values you…you are here for a purpose.  Discover what your purpose is and live it to the fullest…do not be destroyed by feelings of rejection or inferority.  You are worthy of all the best that life has to give you.   Your beginnings do not have to set a  negative standard for the rest of your life.  Take your gift and all that you have been able to receive and enjoy since the time of your birth and make something of yourself.  Be a giver, be an encourager…be the embodiement of what your birth parents lacked.  Be a giver and a receiver of Love.  Do you think that the impact of your birth can make a positive difference in the world?   I do, every life has value to offer the world.  Reader, do you know someone who has been rejected or abandoned…were they able to turn their difficult beginnings into a positive, productive life?

      

Read Full Post »

Lazy Day of Fall With a Touch of Winter

     Today has been one of those lazy, do nothing and enjoy it kind of days.  Those are few and far between…but, so very necessary for the soul to rest and build up strength to do what must be done every other day of the week. 

      It has been cold and wet.  We woke up this morning to a growing blanket of fluffy white snow…the first of the season, to lightly coat the ground.  Of course, it did not stay there because the ground is not frozen yet…so, the warmth of the earth melted the brilliant, white snow early in the day.  This is just a mini preview of what is to come in the next few weeks.

       The snow brought joy to my child’s face…and, a look of acceptance to mine 🙂  Now is the time to contemplate making a nice homemade, chunky sort of comfort meal…like maybe a hot, hearty chicken noodle soup with homemade dumplings…or maybe a rich, smooth, smoky pea soup, or possibly a filling fall harvest kind of soup with some happy orange carrots, and some limey green cabbage surrounding floating chunks of the all american staple of potatoes in a nice rich broth of ham pieces or some pieces of bacon. However, this is work…and, cannot stand alone.  One must complement the meal with some fresh- from- the- oven homemade doughy, buttery rolls.  This is the treat that we offer ourselves when the reality of 6 months of cold, wet, dark and dreary winter comes sneaking upon us.  Oh, if that sounds ominous…then you will have to come back on another day when the snow is cherished and given glory…just not today when i have to grow to appreciate it’s beauty.

       Golly, you will just have to check back in a few weeks, when i paint the picture of a cheery morning; when the snow crystals sparkle in the sunlight and underscore the weight of the evergreen branches that bow under the weight of the heavy flakes of snow that have fallen overnight, much to our surprise.  Then you will see that the human spirit is flexible and has the wisdom to recognize all of the gifts in life. 

Read Full Post »

What Are You Going to Accomplish Today?

        Are you living your life fully or are you going through the motions just waiting for something to happen to change the way things are?  Do you have long term and short term goals in place?  Are you focussed on enjoying today while planning for tomorrow?  Life is an interesting mix of failures, accomplishments, goals; each has their place in your life to enable you to be successful in your personal and professional life.

         Have you ever heard how people answer questions about their life?  Anyone ever said to you…it is just another day?  That my friend, is a life that is un-fulfilled.  That is a person who isn’t engaged with their purpose in life.  Maybe they don’t know that they live and breathe for a reason.  Every person has gifts, ideas, experiences, talents, and knowledge that is meant to move them and others through life in a positive way.  Sitting on those  qualities and hoarding them without using them to improve life is a one way trip to no-where.

          Do you know anyone who has to learn life the hard way?  Are they condemned to experience life through failure?  Or , are they equipped to live and learn from the mistakes and the successes of others…saving themselves time and enabling them to succeed more quickly and efficiently?

           I want to tell you about an opportunity to experience something that has never been done before.  There is going to be a life changing seminar in Long Beach, California Sept 26-28th put on by Brendon Burchard, author, life coach, businessman and motivational speaker.   Brendon wrote the book, Life’s Golden Ticket last year and made a huge impact on those who have read it.  It was published by Harper Collins.  He has put together a program that is going to address personal and professional growth as well as wealth building.  Can you use any help in those areas?

           This is an affordable event.  It is not going to be held in a traditional hotel environment where they present you with recycled information and then grab your money.  This experience is going to include, music, business advice, life changing information on gathering business partners, personal growth experts, the power of impact, and learning how to build upon what you have and the contacts in your life.  If any of this interests you…you may want to click on this link to find out how you can be there to see this extra-ordinary event unfold.  It will make history as it takes place under a big top tent.  Nothing boring here 🙂  Here is your link to more information…and some free audio snippets of an interview:  http://www.lifesgoldenticket.com/preview 

            Also at this event, you will see the results of Ken McArthur’s Boot Camp Impact Action Team and what they were able to accomplish in their teamwork by joining together to make a positive impact in an area of life that touches so many.  It is important to support the Impact Action Team and the work that they are doing!  Check out the person that was chosen to receive the benefit of their impact here:  http://speakupsavelives.org/  Meet Deremiah CPE…see how you can help impact the world.

             Find a way to get there…and discover what your purpose in life is; and, how you can nurture that purpose, and allow it to blossom.  You will understand how to take the promise of the seeds in your life and turn them into the amazing life that they were meant to be!  Are you up to the challenge, are you willing to enjoy each day to the fullest, living your life with purpose and clarity, achieving all that you are meant to achieve; and, spreading the message that we are all here to encourage and lift each other up?  Life is too short to spend it wishing for more, accepting less and resenting those who understand how to make things happen in a positive way, Don’t you think so too?  Come on, check it out:  http://www.lifesgoldenticket.com/preview  If you don’t listen to anything else, listen to the last audio…where he talks about his amazing un-precedented money back guarantee!  He sounds pretty confident to me that you will not leave the event un-changed or un-happy!

Read Full Post »

When The Past Threatens To Destroy Your Future

        We are all born into circumstances that we have absolutely no control over.  The best that you can hope for is to maximize the positive and to minimize the negative events, circumstances or experiences.  All of those things, both positive and negative, help to shape us into the person that we become.

        If we start to experience problems in our relationships at work, home, school, or on a personal level with someone special; often, we will discover at the root of the issue, are things left over from our very beginnings in life that are unresolved or unhealed.  When the past threatens to destroy your future you must take time to figure it out; for your well-being and for those who care about you.

        Understanding what the problem is and where it comes from is a turning point.  Don’t get stuck there with excuses why your life isn’t turning out the way you want it to…you don’t have to continue to be held hostage by the past!  

Read Full Post »

The Joy of A Child

         Today my 8 year old daughter is filled with joy.  Want to know why?  The thing that filled her with joy is just that a female classmate invited her to a birthday party at a local bowling alley.  This invitation made my child happy.  She started planning how much fun she was going to have.  She couldn’t wait to go pick out a gift for her friend.

         It is a simple thing… and yet it is not.  She is not an easy child socially.  She doesn’t always fit in.  But she is so excited about going to this birthday party. 

          Fitting “in” is not always easy whether you are a child or an adult.  We all have a need to be a part of the “in” crowd.  It is a couple of hours of acceptance for her which will be good for her self esteem.  Kids can be cruel if you dont wear the right clothes, have the right amount of money, live in the right neighborhood, belong to the right groups…those types of things.  We live in a small town so those kinds of issues are known about one another.

          Yesterday we went out and picked out the important birthday gift…with the right birthday gift bag to put it in.  People who seem to fit in with others as youngsters have a healthy self esteem.   Sometimes my daughter will say, no one likes me…the boys pick on me and say mean things about me to the other kids.  Self esteem is affected by the actions of others around us when we are young and growing; self esteem is important.

           This is an important tool for the teen years and adult years.  That self esteem keeps people from making poor choices when under stress, to make decisions like drinking or using drugs, or entering into healthy relationships when their peers put on the pressure.

           Adults can learn alot from watching their children struggle with acceptance.  It must be taught to not let peer pressure rule them but at the same time…to be accepted by others can be important in learning to accept themselves with or without the stamp of approval from others.  It is growing their judgement skills on knowing when to let someone’s opinion matter enough to affect how they conduct themselves.

            It is hard as a parent to let your child find their own way.  I just want to sometimes step in and say…my child is an awesome person.  Like her, treat her right, show her she is likeable for who she is….but i must let her make her own way in learning how to deal with fitting in and making good choices about who she lets influence her. 

           Those who can be mean or those who try to use their acceptance in the crowd to keep others out of it, have to be  understood by my daughter to learn who she can trust and why. 

            That way, she will understand more complex people as she grows older so as not to be manipulated or hurt.  Loving oneself and freely trusting others is easier when you learn to read others by their actions, body language and by how they treat you with respect.  My daughter is a smart girl; she will learn to let people into her life that know how to have healthy give and take relationships with each other.

             We must learn to understand that by our words, our actions, our body language we have a big impact on others whether we are children or adults.  *  The party was great…she had fun…the others had fun…and she was still filled with excitement when it was over!  This is as it should be.

Read Full Post »