Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Posts Tagged ‘adoption’

      Rumors have been making the news for a long time about the health of the marriage of Madonna and her husband Guy Ritchie.  They have denied trouble whenever the subject came up…but…the old saying…where there is smoke there is fire stands because they have comfirmed that the couple has agreed to divorce one another.  As always…privacy has been asked for.  More than likely…that will not happen; when infamous couples declare seperation or divorce…it only creates more curiosity.

      Madonna, the material girl of old, has always commanded a large amount of publicity.  Guy Ritchie has been along for the ride since their marriage back in 2001.  It is difficult for any relationship to thrive under that kind of spotlight.  No divorce is easy and dividing up possessions, money and custody time is going to be compounded by the fact that Guy is a Londoner…and Madonna, before the marriage, was a resident of the United States.  For those of you who have gone through a divorce and had to work out visitations and custody times…imagine doing it from one country to the next.  Of course, that is assuming that Madonna would consider moving back to the states after the divorce.  At the moment she is on a tour.

        Madonna’s brother Christopher Ciccone wrote a book earlier this year about his relationship with Madonna.  Christopher alludes to the fact that he believes that Madonna’s husband Guy came between their sibling relationship and their professional relationship.  Christoper was a designer and coreographer for several of her musical tours.  I wonder if they will be able to repair their relationship after this marriage has ended.

       It is the children that will have to do the most adjusting through this situation.  Money doesn’t change that fact; children always suffer the most in a divorce or seperation.  Madonna has three children, Lourdes, Rocco and David.  Lourdes is from a previous relationship to the marriage…Rocco is Guy’s son and David is both of theirs because he was adopted from Malawi during their marriage.  It is sad for them most of all.  Adults make their own choices about such matters.

        In any case, best wishes to all…peace and love to all parties…but, i imagine it will take some time for the fireworks to dim before it is all said and done…these situations take time and energy to resolve.

Read Full Post »

        Another family has made the news by dropping off their children, 9 of them from ages 1 to 17 at a hospital in Nebraska.  It is in my mind, in cases of abandonment, almost as if the children are treated like a litter of unwanted puppies.  In mid July, Nebraska made its own news headlines by instituting a “safe haven law”. 

         Most states in the US have some sort of a safe haven law which is designed to protect children who are either unwanted; or, in unsafe environments regarding living conditions, or in situations of neglect or abuse.  The safe haven laws are meant to allow a safe place for children to be left such as a hospital or a fire station.  What is unique about the new law in Nebraska is that it doesn’t clarify who has the authority to drop off said children…it could be a baby sitter, grandparent, parent, neighbor or what have you.  Another important point, most of the states that implement safe haven laws usually are set up to protect infants.  Nebraska made headlines by not limiting the reach of the safe haven laws to infant only drop offs…it basically says “minors”…leaving the new law open to interpetation.

         The courts will have to clarify the definition of the safe haven law so that the protection of the children and the people who abandon them is more clear.  At the moment, anyone under the age of 19 is allowed to be dropped off in a safe haven.  There will be no legal repercussions as long as abuse or neglect is not involved.  In some ways, this may help those situations where we read about newborn infants born to teen mothers who are dumped in a garbage can or left outside alone.  Maybe in those cases, some children will be saved…but, this new law opens up a whole new set of issues regarding children and their families.

         I know that the law was set up in good faith…to protect the children.  However, you have to wonder about the psychological damage to those same children who are old enough to understand that they have been abandoned by the people most trusted in their lives.  An infant does not comprehend the abandonment until they are older and the information is presented to them…an older child certainly does understand the idea of abandoment and there certainly will ensue emotional and psychological damage.  However, i will say an infant may not understand the full scope of abandonment; but, that doesn’t mean that they aren’t affected by it; when they are affected, it is often called an attachment disorder…where the baby has trouble bonding with their caregivers, either giving or receiving love…sometimes, it is even turned into a failure to thrive.  All human beings deserve to be loved and wanted.

         Studies have been done on babies or infants who have been abandoned in other countries and left in orphanages…if they do not get enough human interaction that shows love or caring…those children can actually die from the lack of human, loving touch.  Don’t think that when an infant is dropped off, even at a safe haven…that they won’t know the difference between being wanted and unwanted.

         People who find themselves in desperate circumstances may be tempted to go the route of the safe haven in a moment of extreme duress.  However, the long term consequences make me wonder whether this is a viable option.  People who abuse or neglect their children willingly or freely are not going to be so very concerned about making sure that the place they abandon their child is considered a safe place.  It would be better to put into place programs that facilitate helping families who are in danger of imploding. 

         Not to mention, those parents or caregivers who are feeling desperate…say…in a financial crisis…they can’t afford to feed or house their children…may think that this safe haven is an option for them.  The consequences of such an action could be considered permanent…even if their circumstances change in time.  Their custody could be forever impacted by that one moment of temptation to abandon the children in a safe place. 

         I wonder if other options are being given as much media & legal attention, such as making a short term placement with social services; for short term foster care in cases where, say a housing or financial need is threatening the ability to keep a family together? 

          Children aren’t like litters of animals…not that animals should be abandoned either!  Being a pet owner or a parent is a huge responsiblity…the demands are serious.  People should not enter into the role of a pet owner or parenting without alot of thought!  Parents need to take their commitment to parenting seriously. 

          If a parent is considering abandoning their children…wouldn’t it be better to work with an agency and make a permanency plan such as adoption?  Definately, if that were the case, doing it in infancy is better than waiting until a child is old enough to be scarred by an emotional and physical abandonment by their parents or caregivers.  At least by making sure that the child/children were placed in a safe and loving home…a child would have a chance to grow up and to be nutured in a loving environment. 

          No one should ever be made to feel unwanted, unloved or unprotected.  Abandonment leaves permanent scares that impact their young lives and often, other generations of lives as well.  What are your feelings on the safe haven laws?

Read Full Post »

          I read today that the family of Steven Curtis Chapman lost a daughter to a tragic accident yesterday.  The Chapman family’s youngest daughter 5 year old Maria was hit by a car driven by her brother.  It happened at their home in Nashville.  Worse still, it was witnessed by other family members.  What a horrible thing to see.  Maria’s brother needs alot of prayer.  It is a heavy burden to be in the position of being the driver who didn’t see the child.   May God bless this whole family during this time. 

           Their daughter Maria was adopted from China.  The Chapman’s have three children born to them and three others who they adopted.  I remember reading in an adoption magazine a few months ago, how the family felt called to adopt a child from China.  The family’s oldest daugther encouraged her parents to do so.  The Chapman’s committed to missionary work in China a couple of years ago.  I am sure with the recent tragedy that China has been going through has affected them greatly. 

           Steven Curtis Chapman is a gifted Christian singer.  He has been a huge force in ministering through music.  The family also has created a ministry foundation for those wishing to adopt called Shaohannah’s Hope; it helps the families to be able to afford to adopt.  I am sure the whole family’s heart is heavy.  For a child makes a huge impact on a family whether they are adopted or birthed into the family.  A child’s death leaves a huge empty spot.  Please pray for healing during their time of grief.  You can learn a bit more here:  http://www.stevencurtischapman.com/

Read Full Post »

       Raising children is one of the most important things a person can do.  It not only impacts a family; it impacts communities, businesses, organizations and individuals.  Raising children well; it is an art form.  In our world today, there are many things pulling at a family unit trying to divide it and conquor it.  It’s become the norm to expect families to break up; it is almost extra-ordinary to see a family survive all that life throws at it.

       There are those around us who struggle in ways that we cannot see.  There are stresses that are normal; and then, there are those which have the ability to wreak havoc on our inter-personal relationships. 

        Un-expected pregnancies are one such stressor.  Un-planned pregnancies, no matter the age or marital status of the parents, can overload those involved; due to financial pressures, health issues, as well as, the emotional well-being of the parents. 

        Making a choice to become a parent is an important step; whether you become a parent biologically, or through the adoption process.  Each life that is conceived is precious and full of promise.  A pregnancy should be cause for celebration; however, sometimes circumstances can complicate the miracle of life.  Those type of situations are when the adoption option becomes a lifeline for those affected.

         Organizations such as Bethany Christian Services are just, such a lifeline.  Of course, they offer more than just adoption services; there is counseling, foster care, estate planning, pregnancy counseling, post adoption care, orphan care, infertility ministry and embryo services.  They are all about building, healing, and restoring families here in the United States and around the world.

        If your heart if full of blessings…or if you have a need…go to this link and check them out.  If your heart has been burdened by the complications of life; and, you have been touched by something greater than yourself…can you find a way to give back?  Support Bethany Christian Services either through a financial donation or maybe just by volunteering your time.  Check them out here:  www.bethany.org.  

          Do you see the suffering of those all around the world and feel helpless to do anything about it?  Those who are lonely, without the basic necessities of life, poor, starving, homeless or just without someone to love them; they need help.   Many of us do see the conditions of the world and suffer a sense of guilt at our own good fortune.  Do you feel something within your heart calling you to make a difference?  We all do…don’t turn off that sensitivity to the hurts in the world.  You can make an impact!

          Maybe you already have the gift of making an impact; but, you wish to find ways of increasing that skill…may i suggest a book that will open windows into the system or skill set that will broaden your abilities to impact the world in a positive way?  It was written by Ken McArthur…a man who has felt the need from childhood to impact the world in a positive way.    The world is a big place with lots of needs.   You have a lot to offer, even if you don’t think that you do.  Find out what it is that you were created to do and be.  Read the book, make a commitment to channel positive energy into some kind of a lasting legacy…and make it happen!

Read Full Post »

       Do you ever watch the news and hear about all of the tragedies around the world and think; what can I do, I am just one person?  You watch it and are moved, yet, you think…someone should DO SOMETHING ?  It is a helpless feeling, not knowing exactly what to do; isn’t it ?   What if you are the SOMEONE who SHOULD DO SOMETHING ?   Your inner voice is telling you to take some action.  You don’t want to waste time or energy; you want to make the biggest impact whatever you do.

         You see a need somewhere; and maybe you have an idea, a product, or maybe a service that you could utilize, to help change things for the better.  Can YOU make a difference ?  You bet you can!!!  Your inner voice is trying to motivate you.  If you only knew HOW to make an IMPACT on things, to make a difference; things would be different.  Maybe, you could motivate other people to take action as well. 

         All you have to do is, get noticed by enough people; and, things could change.  I have the answer you have been searching for, whether it is for your business, personal goals, or maybe, it is a humanitarian intervention that is calling out to you. 

          What you need is the book, The Impact Factor: How to Get Noticed, Motivate Millions, and Make a Difference In A Noisy World!  

          Ken McArthur is a successful business man, an entrepreneur, an author, a business mentor; and, an all around NICE GUY with lots of integrity.  Ken recognizes the power of IMPACT on both a business and a personal level.  Ken is committed to communicating the power of Impacting the world in a positive way. 

           You see, we all leave a legacy of Impact in our everyday choices, in our areas of expertise; just by living our lives.  Why not harness the power of impact to be as effective as we can be by making a choice to positively Impact the world ?  Our areas of impact could be education, the environment, business, humanitarian aid, adoption, poverty, diseases/illnesses, finance,health, fashion, entertainment, spiritual enlightenment, crime, domestic violence, teen pregnancy, sports, elder care….the list goes on and on.  You know your heart and your skills; how do you want to change the world ?  What is your passion ? 

          Go to Ken’s free website and pick up lots of videos and audio recordings that will help you make an Impact in many areas of your life, and the lives of those around you.  Then, do yourself a favor and purchase his book.  You won’t regret it.  This book could change your life; who knows, it may change the world if you put the message of the book behind everything that you do! 

       

Read Full Post »

         With all of the hoopla surrounding the publication of Barbara Walter’s book called, “Audition” i have to wonder; where is her dignity?  i think she lost it somewhere between bragging on her affair with a married man approximately 20-30 years ago and dishing on the ongoing public tongue lashing of her former co-hosts Rosie O’Donnell and Star Jones.  There is so much more, i am sure, in Barbara’s memoirs but i have to wonder…with all of the truly outstanding news stories she has brought to our attention over the years…why resort to digging dirt?

        After all, the book would have been interesting enough because of some of the all time history making interviews such as Fidel Castro, Monica Lewinski, President Gerald Ford, Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez, Rudy Giuliani former mayor of NYC  and the list goes on.  Then there are all of the famous celebrities she has interviewed over the years as well.  Some celebrities doing a PR spin on whatever scandal they were going through at the time…there would have been enough sex, drugs, violence to attract the gossipmongers to the book strickly because of some of those interviews.

        Barbara’s book would not have been short on excitement, intrigue, or interest had she concentrated strickly on those interviews and all of the behind the scenes regarding them.  I fail to see the need to tell us of her sex life and such. She is interesting in her own right just because of her childhood, her professional life, her adoption of her daughter Jackie and the famous people in and out of her life. 

          I wonder if this type of publicity buzz will have a disasterous backlash when it comes to the sale of the book; or, whether it will bring publishing to a whole new level of indigity itself.  The business of publishing has been going through it’s own destructive roller coaster over the last decade or so; regarding making a profit, plagerism, fictionalized memoirs, editors who publisher hop from one company to another; and then, the spector of how digital publishing is affecting printed publishing financially.  When dignity is for sale we all lose out. 

Read Full Post »

        Wow, who knew that it mattered, when you were born, which side of the blanket you were born on when it comes to getting your birthright inheritence or whether your rights will be denied?

         Is a child’s birthright not automatic when that birthparent gives the child up for adoption?  No, it can be denied in the state of New York, anyway. 

          Today, i read in the news that a woman born over 50 years ago to a direct descendent of the jello fortune was denied by the highest court in New York the right to a portion of that said fortune. 

           It seems that the estate of the woman’s birthmother denied that she was entitled to a third of the estate; because, she had been put up for adoption and, because the laws of the state said that a child put up for adoption wasn’t considered a child of the person for whom the trust was established.

        The mother of the “child” went on to get married later after putting up the infant for adoption and went on to have two additional children who were entitled to their portion of the estate because they were born during her marriage.

         Does that seem fair?  The child did not have a say about when she was conceived or to whom she was born; she was born to the woman and allegedly, to a man who was married to someone else.  Is it her fault about the circumstances of her birth?  No.  Was it her choice to be adopted?  No.  Still, i guess legally…the decision has been made.

         My question is…morally is it a correct decision?  I wonder how the birth, half- siblings feel?  I mean, obviously the estate felt that they had a right to fight paying a portion of the trust fund to this woman; but, personally, if it were me….i would feel that she was entitled to a sum of money. 

         The woman started searching for her birthparents when she was 19.  She spent lots of money and time searching.  She didn’t start her search thinking that she was going to discover she was born to a family with incredible riches that she could inherit.  I am sure that she began searching strictly for the purpose of finding out more about herself personally. 

           Whatever her personal reasons for searching; I hope she found some kind of answers to her questions when she met her mother.  She did get to meet her and find out about her birth circumstances.  Hopefully she was able to heal those parts of herself that were filled with questions when she discovered she had a NEED to know about her beginnings. 

           It seems that these questions about the trust fund came up after the birth mother died.  Who knows what the birth mother’s feelings were on the subject.  That wasn’t reported in anything i have heard about this trust fund issue with the courts.  Was the woman and her siblings able to develop any type of postitive relationship?  If so, why the issue of money went before the court is curious. 

            If the half siblings contested sharing the money…i then wonder, what makes them in their own minds feel more entitled?  It is kind of sad.  Who knows how much richer their lives could have been otherwise.  I mean, i wonder if they would find joy in knowing their sister had there not been money involved?   Maybe it isn’t just an issue of money; could it be some other reason that they feel she is not entitled to a share of the wealth?   I wonder is the sister the kind of person that would not be welcome in a family whether they had money or not?  Is she a good, friendly, moral person?

             Some how, it feels like an injustice.  I mean, the half siblings got to grow up with their mother.  The woman did not.  They were born to a comfortable lifestyle; did the woman live in comfort?  Should she be compensated for being rejected at her birth?  I don’t know.  But regardless, it just feels a little unfair to me. 

Read Full Post »

Twin boys       Well, my family has added another couple of family members.  Twins, are they cute or what?  Adoption in our family is nothing new for us.  But these two are only 5 weeks old.

        I forgot how often babies need to get up during the night…only these two are puppies.  No less work than a human baby let me tell you…but they are so stinking cute…what are ya going to do?

        So, Chance and Shadow are their names.  We are going to keep them both through the whinning stage and then one of them as soon as he is trained is going to a friend because their very large lab was hit by a car a few short weeks ago.

       They sure are fun though and add a whole other dimension to the family. 

Update:  Well, both babies are now pretty good size…and guess what?  They both stayed and I can’t imagine one without the other.  The friend who’s dog died…she got another dog that was also adopted…but, it didn’t work out.  That dog had seperation issues and could not be left home alone (the whole family works and goes to school).  So, that particular dog was adopted by an older gentleman who lives on a farm and has several other dogs.  She (the dog was female) is quite happy now…she is never alone and has company.   

Read Full Post »

        It was announced today, that Marie Osmond will be doing a new talk show.  She said that she would like it to be for women.  I think she stated that she wanted it to revolve around women and women’s issues; presented in a way, as if girlfriends were talking.

         I think that she will do a great job at that kind of a program.  I am glad that it will show case Marie.  She has been though alot in the last few years and i think that she could contribute alot to some of those issues by speaking from her experiences.  As long as Marie doesn’t fall too often into her defense mechanism of distracting by being at times a class clown…even though i do love her sense of humor.  There are times when it takes away from important things.

           She has gone through post partum depression, loss of parents, a divorce, having a child enter a rehab, she’s gone though personal tragedy of a fire in her home and the list goes on.  She is an adoptive parent and a birth parent.  These are issues that affect alot of her potential viewership.

        There was no mention of which network would be carrying the program.  I hope it is ABC. 

        

Read Full Post »