Posts Tagged ‘behavior’

Unless you deliberately try to avoid the news regarding people in the media, you have surely heard the tragic tale of actor Charlie Sheen and the downward spiral that he has been on with regards to his public displays of out of control, alleged drug use, partying, and seemingly non-sensical interviews that have Charlie Sheen appearing to bite the hand that feeds him.   There have been news stories about porn stars, domestic violence, alleged drug use, drug rehab, custody issues, contract negotiations, not to mention, a forced hiatus from his television show and disgruntled co-workers.

That show, called Two and a Half Men, has stopped production on their show for the rest of the season; since Charlie has made a public statement on interviews that disparages the producers of the show, television show creator Chuck Lorre, Alcoholic Anonymous, his ex wife, and women in general.   He says horribly vile things about Chuck Lorre and shows nothing but contempt for women, in my opinion, when he says things about women such as he has fame and those women have nothing and that all they will ever have is that night with him and that he will forget about them as soon as they leave.  He says that he is “special” and will never be one of the AA because they are a “bootleg cult”.  Seriously?  Continue reading here: Write Where You Are


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A new interview with Billy Ray Cyrus is making the news, as a pensive Billy Ray rues that the show Hannah Montanna came into his family’s life.  He expresses that he feels that it has destroyed his family.  I think it is with good reasons that he has those regrets.  After all, in the last year his 18 year old daughter Miley Cyrus has made multiple headlines that have left many of her fans, and the parents of her fans, feel like she has left those roots of which she was so proud of before.  Those roots that spoke of family values and Christian beliefs.

Miley Cyrus became so rich and so overwhelmingly popular that she began to make changes like dressing more provocatively.   She not only “grew up”; she changed her image.   She made very grown up videos with older men and she was caught on film smoking Salvia in a bong (which is not illegal in California but which has hallucinogenic affects on the people who smoke it).   Billy says that he always tried to be a friend to his children and now he regrets not being more of a disciplinarian type of a parent. Many parents realize this type of mistake…but, when there are people who form a wall around your child, I would imagine it is harder to talk things out.   Billy didn’t have the title of being his daughter’s manager in business either…so he had no official say so in those business decisions of hers.  He feels that much of what has happened in recent months has been out of his control.  To continue reading click here:  Write Where You Are

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        Do you ever wish you could undo something, un-think something, un-feel something, not know something, not see something—In other words, go back in time and avoid an event or possibly create different circumstances so that something didn’t happen?  I’ve often wondered if we could rewind time…how often we would be successful at creating a different outcome?  Or would we fall into the same old patterns of behavior in new circumstances? 

         Think about a moment when you did something that  became clear to you that you wished you could go back and undo.   Perhaps it was on the computer and you pushed delete,  or ok , before you pressed save?  Maybe you said something that you couldn’t take back and you hurt another person.  Maybe you did something that had terrible consequences…such as a car accident and someone was hurt, or killed.   Maybe you made a choice and that choice had a negative effect on the rest of your life.   Maybe you made a life changing decision and announced it; and, from the moment you said it…things were never the same again.

         You know, the kind of situation where a complete moment of panic and understanding set in, making you wish that things were different.   If you could go back and redo things…what would you do, say, think, or feel differently?   What can you do differently to prevent yourself from repeating negative patterns of behavior?

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        Oh I forgot about this, a couple of weeks ago i watched the ABC television show Wife Swap.  Normally i do not watch this show as it is a bit too over the top dramatic for me .  I don’t know why I ended up watching this time, but I did.   I probably shouldn’t have because it was outrageous and offensive to me.  This is one wife swap drama that  they probably shouldn’t have televised.

         The one husband appeared to be an elitist…a snob of a royal kind.  He was rude, insulting…condescending and very emotionally cruel to the wife that was swapped to his home.  He came across as a total jerk.  He tried to change the game halfway through the program.  He refused to change the rules or activities like other families do during the second week; he threatened to stop the show, he ignored the swapped wife; and, he encouraged his children to do the same. 

        If you have never seen this show… it is a show where two families swap wives/mothers with each other.  Of course, the families for dramatic reasons are two exact opposites when it comes to lifestyles or practices.   When the women change places…they do as the family normally does the first week….during the second week, everything changes and the women implement changes/rules that they think would better or improve that family.

         This particular show, Stephen Fowler, was openly hostile, rude, emotionally critical, verbally abusive and controlling.  He made statements about middle  class Americans who he referred to as Rednecks.  He called the “wife” fat, lazy, ignorant, stupid…etc.  He insulted her education.   It crossed the boundaries of dramatic television and entered into nothing but abusive conduct, in my opinion.

        It seems that Mr. Fowler is now experiencing a huge backlash about his conduct and his wounding words.  Rightly so!  He tried to be so superior to everyone and everything that he came across to be very boorish.  I thought his wife, in retrospect, was fairly decent in her dealings with her family that she was swapped to; for the most part, at least until she was reunited with her husband. 

          At first, when his behavior came to light, during the meeting between families at the end of the show…she appeared to be somewhat ashamed of the things  when she was told of what he said and did.   Still, a person who conducts themselves so very openly and unapologetically towards another person…has to have exhibited that sort of behavior before,  i would think.  How could anyone allow their children to be raised around that level of contempt and disrespect for others?  How will those children relate to others in the future? 

        I thought to myself, if I were his wife…i would be ashamed to show my face because people would know what kind of a man she had married.   I would wonder if people thought that I thought the same things about others that her husband appeared to believe.   I also thought, a man who appeared to be filled with such contempt for others should not be allowed to have so much influence on young children’s minds  (he and his wife had children there who watched how he treated the swapped wife).    He was demonstrating cruelty to another fellow human being; simply because he thought she deserved his contempt.   

          But at the end of the show, both Mr. Fowler and his wife,  left me feeling glad that I no longer had to listen to him.  I really though that he could win an award for the most offensive person on television that week for sure; if someone would take a vote.

        I guess Mr and Mrs. Fowler’s neighbors are frustrated because people are driving by their home and pointing; and, someone even egged the Fowler’s home.  Someone has been passing out fliers with the Fowler’s name, address, and pictures on it.  These things are not ok.    Of course, the neighbors did nothing wrong…so this of course, affects them too.

         This printing of fliers, finger pointing traffic, and egging  is considered harassment.    Of course, no one should condone harassment or violence towards anyone…however, Mr. Fowler certainly struck a chord with many people.  It would appear that by his own words he behaved like a jerk and people were not ok with that.  

          Most people who have such a strong opinion towards others learn to keep it to themselves; or, find a more appropriate way to express themselves; rather than going on national television.    This past week, it was announced that Prince Harry, of Great Britain, is going to be taking sensitivity training because of something that he said about another person.   It would appear that being sensitive towards those who are different, from ourselves, is something many of us could benefit from.


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       Breaking news today that the infamous Sam Lufti who is Britney Spears former manager is suing both Britney and both of her parents; he is claiming that they have defamed him and claiming breach of contract.   Going back to last year when Britney was having the worst year of her life…the news was peppered with comments of worry relating to Sam Lufti’s relationship with Britney. 

         Her parents were alledging that he had too much control over Britney and that he had allegedly confided in Britney’s mother Lynne that he gave her “medications”.   Britney was exhibiting behavior that had everyone concerned for her well-being and that of her children.   Britney’s father Jamie went to court and got legal control over Britney’s finances and business dealings; effectively removing anyone with suspected ulterior motives from unauthorized access to Brit’s money or to Britney herself.

        Sam Lufti is now claiming that Jamie and Lynne have combined efforts to lie about him and have used intimidation to remove him from Britney’s life.  I don’t think that the Spears’ have tried to hide the fact that they believe that Sam Lufti should have no contact with Britney; since they went to court to limit his contact with her.  They were very concerned about their daughter and did what they felt was best to protect her and guard her safety and emotional well-being.   Sam Lufti says he feels he had no choice but to file suit against them in their campaign to smear his name.   Britney, after being hospitalized twice and having her father take over conservatorship of her legal and business affairs has made a miraculous recovery.  She has regained the ability to visit with her children and to perform onstage before her fans with confidence, once again.

         Jamie Spears has again gone to the courts, recently, to file a restraining order because of what he says are attempts by Sam Lufti and others in regards to the   harassment of  the Spears family.  I would presume that they would have evidence to back up that claim, or he would not have gone through the inconvience and cost of going to the court to file charges.  

     The timing of this latest difficulty for the Spears family comes close to the beginning of Britney’s new tour which is scheduled to begin next month.  The tour promises to make lots of money and I would not be surprised if  Sam Lufti, as her former manager, feels that he would have been benefitting from the profits of such business dealings; if he had not been removed from contact with Britney Spears.

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     Here is an interesting story in the news…it seems that people who annoy others are now being held legally responsible and can receive fines for their annoying behavior.  Those who have been annoyed now have legal recourse against those who continually display behavior that is alarming, annoying, or serves no legitimate purpose.  Wow!  That is interesting.

     In Brighton, Michigan starting January 17, 2009…the new ordinance will begin.  It will also be against the law to molest anyone, to insult them,  annoy or accost them.  Hmmm, one wonders about the potential limitations, of such of a law or ordinance.  Who decides what constitutes legal annoyance?  Will there be guidelines as to what is just a frustration, and what is over the top and prosecutable?

       All that i could think of when i heard about this was; that it was a good thing that the law was not viable in my own home between my children….everything they do annoys each other some days!  🙂  I can just see it in homes across the nation, can’t you?  Mom…make him/her stop…they won’t leave me alone…so and so took my seat…he/she is annoying me…Mooooooooooommmmmmmmmmm!!!  Good thing we don’t have to pay fines against annoying each other in families…don’t ya think?  I mean…really stop and think about this law…is it going to have a positive impact on the community of Brighton?

       It would seem like this type of law has unlimited potential for frivolous lawsuits by people with grudges against one another.   It has a price tag of a $500.00 fine; which is no small thing.   I think that the courts will eventually resent having every little dispute brought before the bench…but, the fee that the court would levy against those violating the new law would help them to overcome the inconvience and  resentment associated with enforcing such a new law.  What do you think…will this be something that catches on around the country?  Should it?  Does a law like this have the power to be abused?  Should there be some kind of written guidelines or consequences to prevent someone from fraudulently accusing innocent people?

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       Do you know a holiday saboteur?  You know who I’m talking about don’t you?  It is the person who agitates others during holidays.  It is the person who argues with everyone…about everything.  It is the person who has a permanently unhappy disposition in life.  It is the person who grumbles about things that really don’t matter in the larger scheme of things..  It may even be the person who checks you out, as you hum a little holiday cheer, while you purchase your gifts.   Bah Humbug!

         Why, for goodness sake…this holiday saboteur may even be a member of  your own family!  Egads…what are you going to do?   Uninvite them immediately…move out of state…get divorced so you don’t have to deal with them anymore?  Surely, you aren’t going to take it that far to avoid the holiday saboteur?

           Assure me that you aren’t going to let them do it this year; don’t let them steal your joy.  Not at the office, not at the local gas station, not in the llllllllllloooooonggg line in the post office, not on the highway…not on the subway, not at the Christmas/New Year’s eve party………most certainly tell me that you aren’t going to let them get to you when you visit them….and definately, don’t let them bring you down in your own home!  Why, that is your happy, safe place…or it should be.

          Instead, might i suggest a little something- something to change it up a bit?  Why not, throw them off balance with a holiday super charged, joyful, in your face celebration? 

          Maybe they will do one of two things…perhaps they will get so shocked by such a display of holiday cheer that they will come over to the dark side and actually CELEBRATE; or, they will get totally annoyed at the lack of indulgence of their perpetually bad behavior; they will get up and leave, when no-one feeds the flames of discontent by politely listening to their moody, morose …angry and controlling ways! 

          Either way…you are free to have a happy holiday get-together any way you choose to celebrate it!  Unless the holiday saboteur lives inside of you….egads…I hadn’t even thought of that…did you?


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