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Posts Tagged ‘blame’

      If ever there was a show to incite anger and frustration this particular season of the Bachelor is it.  There were people who absolutely adored Jason Mesnick when this season started just because of the way he was treated when he was on the Bachelorette a few seasons back when he was rejected by Deanna.  He came into the season with alot of goodwill on the part of the viewers I thought.  He has blown it big time with tonights episode.

      The season finale had him picking Melissa…ahhh…happy ending…but then wait…no…he changed his MIND people after hurting Molly from Michigan.  She told him when he let her go that he was making a mistake.  They all say that by the way…but Molly knew it deep within her soul after the night they spent together before the finale.  But, let her go –he did.  By the way…she left with dignity and grace…well, as much as is possible, in that situation.   (more…)

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       Grrrr…I am a bit torn on this news item; whether to feel more anger or sadness.  It seems that a young 18 year old woman found out that she was pregnant.  She went to a clinic to have an abortion and was given medicine to dialate her cervix to prepare for an abortion procedure.  Before the doctor could perform the abortion…the medication caused her to deliver her baby daughter at just 23weeks of pregnancy.

       A clinic owner allegedly came in and cut the umblical cord and put the child who was struggling to breathe into a red plastic biohazard bag and threw the child in the trash…all as the mother watched in horror.  Allegedly a doctor came in and gave her some medicine to calm her down and sent her home in shock.  The police were called and the child’s remains were identified by DNA as being related to the mother.  Now the mother has sued the doctor and the clinic where the delivery/abortion took place; the doctor has allegedly lost his license.

         This procedure took the life of a human baby almost three years ago.  That child would be walking, talking, singing it’s abc’s , potty training…and maybe even going to pre-school now.  She would be making her mother or another mother figure (she could have been adopted by another mother) mother’s day cards in May…she was not a blob of flesh like so many of these clinics try to tell young women.  She would be a daughter, and a granddaughter; if she could.

        The mother allegedly has said that she changed her mind about the abortion, once she saw her daughter  alive; now she is traumatized by the memory of watching her child struggle for breathe and being tossed away like a bag of garbage.   I am sure that the legal question was did the abortion come first/or the birth…was the child actually born alive?  Testing supposedly revealed that the child did actually breathe, so that means that she was born alive.

        So, who is to blame for this child’s death?  Is it the clinic owner, who by the way did not have a license to practice medicine allegedly?  Or was it the doctor who was not present?  Was it the mother who went in for an abortion in the first place?  Is it society who allows abortion in the first place?  Do we blame the makers of contraception for possibly having failed the mother and father of the child?  Who exactly is at fault?  I say, it is all of the above; at least morally, if not legally. 

        First of all, I believe that abortion is wrong.  I think that if it is true that a clinic owner, who was not a medical doctor, did what has been alledged, then they are also at fault.  I think if the doctor perscribed the medication that caused her to go into labor and deliver a live child that was indeed tossed away in a plastic bag when it was struggling to breath…they that doctor is also wrong.  Was there contraception used in the first place?  I dont know.  I do know that if the teenaged mother was having sex..she should have understood the consequences of her actions that resulted in a pregnancy and that by going to have an abortion…that that child’s death was a direct result of having medication that was designed to result in the death of the child; it should not have shocked her that the child died as a result of taking medication designed to cause said abortion.  Is society at fault here?  Yes, because we allow these things to happen …because we don’t stand up and scream bloody murder that it happens every day around the world. 

        Which came first, the  abortion or the birth?  Does it really matter at this point regarding this particular child?  No, it died needlessly.  If that mother was truly horrified by this situation…then maybe some good can come out of it by her lawsuit, by her speaking out…maybe even by doing a special service announcement on television or in the schools. 

         It is outrageous.  Yes, that child was only 23weeks in the womb of it’s mother…and yes, it may not have survived even had the clinic called for medical help or intervention for that baby…it was pre-mature…not by nature’s designs but by mankinds design.  However, it may have had a fighting chance if it had not been aborted or if it had been taken to a neo-natal unit.  Life is precious…dont abort.  That mother will relive those moments for the rest of her life.  The child didn’t get to have a rest of it’s life. 

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       Yes Oprah is rich and powerful, yes, people hang on her every word…but, with the recent memoir, “Angel at the Fence” written by Herman Rosenblat; some people are looking to point blame at Oprah after finding out that the memoir was based on a falsehood.   Come on, don’t blame Oprah!

        Look the thing is…Oprah gives her endorsement to books that move her.  So what, if this book was written as a work of fiction the story would still be good.  The alleged falsehood of how the couple in the book met; upon which the premise of the book was based, is not any reflection on Oprah.  Herman was a survivor of a concentration camp.  He told a version of meeting his wife as having taken place when the “angel” would bring him apples and bread to the fence of the concentration camp…virtually keeping him alive and helping him to survive the experience.  

         In truth,what was promoted as a love story extraordinare was a lie; they actually met on a blind date many years after his experiences in the concentration camp.  It is a terrible thing to tell everyone a lie about the roots of his marriage; expecting others to perpetuate the myth…just to sell a book.  The Rosenblat’s son did not agree with the falsehood and says he didn’t want anything to do with it. But think about this, when people that his family knew learned of the the writing of the book…and were complimentary….how did his parents expect him to act?  Was he supposed to swallow the truth and pretend that the story being told was the truth?  Or was he to contradict his parents whom I am sure he loves?  What a predictament to put your child in!

         Even though the beginning of the Rosenblat’s relationship is said to be untrue…Herman’s experiences of survival in the concentration camp would have been a very good memoir; one which would have stood up well enough on it’s own, without the lie.  But, the lie is on the author…not on someone who read the book and recommended the book to others not knowing the truth.

          So, again I say…don’t blame Oprah for something in which she had no way of knowing was untrue.  If anything, it should reflect back on the publishing industry.  They are responsible for how they publish and package a book.  If they are going to put a description of the book as a memoir…then they have the responsibility of determining whether or not it is in fact a memoir.  Still, a memoir is a recollection of how one remembers events from their past…and unless the person in charge of publishing the book was there in the past…there has to be some free benefit of doubt that the author is telling the truth.  Ultimately, it is the author of the book that is responsible for whether or not the truth is being published.  In this case, no one else carries the weight of the falsehood more than the person who KNOWS IT IS A FALSEHOOD! 

        The sad thing is that this experience and others like it…only make it tougher for writers to break into an industry that is already famous for being difficult to get published in.   Who deserves to lose the loss of respect over this book for an abuse of trust…the publishers, the author, Oprah or the agents , or the publicity people?

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       There was a recent news story that did much to anger those who work with women who have been “date raped”.   Helen Mirren, a British actress, who won awards last year for her portrayal of the Queen, did an interview with GQ in which she claimed to have been raped several times, many years ago, when she was a student.  Helen is 63 years old now. 

         The reason some people have been upset with Helen, over that interview, is that she seemed to down play the experiences.  She said there was no extreme violence, she was not hit…but rather, was locked in a room and made to have sex.  She did not file charges in those incidents.  She also said that if a man and a woman were about to get intimate and the woman changed her mind, and the man continued; that was indeed rape.  However, in that circumstance; she didn’t feel that a woman could then turn around and take that man to court for it.  Those are highly controversial remarks when taken individually or out of context.  To some people…those comments smack of judgementalism…that those situations aren’t worthy of prosecution of a person who sexually assaults another.  Those comments appear inflammatory to many folks.

         Most people are clear that if a stranger attacks another person and forces sexual relations…then that is rape.  It is true enough…it is.  But there are other forms of rape as well that aren’t as clearly defined for some people. (more…)

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      Blaming the victim…will it work in the case of the husband originally from England who is accused of murdering his American wife Rachael Entwistle and his infant daughter Lillian? Neil Entwistle’s case has had world wide media coverage since he “discovered” his wife and daughter in bed with fatal gun shot wounds; and, instead of reporting this “discovery” to the authorities…he did some very strange things. 

        It was alleged that Neil did not just discover his wife and daughter; but in fact, killed them.  Before the murders, it was alleged that Neil was doing online searches about escorts, as well as killing people.  Then, after Neil discovered his wife and daughter’s bodies, he allegedly returns a gun, that has his DNA as well as Rachel’s DNA, secretly to his father-in-law’s gun cabinet in his home.  Then, he hops a flight to London.  Why murder, if in fact it was murder; why not get a divorce if he was so unhappy?  So many questions with very little answers.  (more…)

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        Do you know anyone who has gone through a divorce and lost friends?  Maybe you have gone through it yourself…you split from your spouse and not only do you lose family members, share custody of the children and pets, but….now…maybe you have friends that will choose sides and support their spouse of choice!

        Well, that is the way i sort of view the fight between duel celebs Denise Richards and Charlie Sheen.  It is turning into a battle royale; she said/he said.  The things that are being said of one another are ugly.  They are mean and they are vicious.  There is name calling and finger pointing and childish behavior…all in all…your typical divorce nightmare.

       Because both Denise and Charlie are actors they each have their share of “friends”.  The court of public opinion is gearing up for a doosey of a declaration of alliance.  No…the public really has no say in how the court decides in the custody battle for their children; however, both Denise and Charlie are making sure that we know their business.

       I have to say that in most peoples breakdown of marriages it is a long, lonely and painful time for all involved.  In the world of celebrity marriages sometimes it is hard to tell who is really hurting going through a divorce and who is just trying to influence public opinion with all of the PR spin-doctoring that is done.

         As far as Charlie and Denise go…i have to say that i think that like most families who go through a divorce it is the children who suffer the most.  However, i think that both Denise and Charlie are not blameless in the face that they are presenting to the world…it would be wise for them both to remember that someday their girls are going to be old enough to read and hear interviews that they each have done about their marital relationship before and after the divorce.

       With Denise putting her life on a reality show…it will all be there in full color for the girls to see and hear.  All of their hurts and anger will come through and influence their life choices.   Charlie has left a negative and bitter impression about his opinion of Denise in no uncertain terms.  He has allegedly called her vile names that most people would not choose to label women no matter how low of an opinion they have…he has allegedly called her very derogatory names and also racist names.  He even further lowered many peoples level of respect for him as a person by attacking Denise’s mother who was dying of cancer.

       Doesn’t Charlie know that many of his fans/viewers are people who’s lives have been affected by cancer as well?  How does he think that makes them feel?  It would be really a very healing thing if the judge in charge of their divorce would order them to go into family counseling; even if it was, just for the sake of their children!  Live your lives people and move on…time is short…don’t waste it on negative energy trying to get revenge on someone that you pledged your life and love to at one time!  Live and let live…give your children at least a minimum of respect for their other parent.

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