Self Esteem And Relationships

This past weekend I had what I would call an eye opening moment concerning self esteem and interpersonal relationships.  My pre-teen daughter had a couple of friends overnight.  These girls spend many hours together at school but this was the first time that they had an overnight together.  All three are high energy girls and each one is a bit of a diva.  So, I didn’t expect the weekend to go without a hitch. However, as the girls got comfortable I started to hear comments and partial comments that made me stop and listen a little more closely.  The reason for that?  Continue reading:  Write Where You Are

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Don’t Give Up On Michigan, Senator McCain! Every Vote Counts!!!

         Last Thursday, the McCain campaign decided to stop aggressively campaigning in Michigan.  This is a mistake, as Sarah Palin at least recognizes.  She has expressed a desire to come back to Michigan to continue campaigning.  I say to you Senator McCain…Michigan Matters!!!  Do not give up on Michigan. 

         The voter’s in Michigan can make a big difference in this Presidential campaign; every vote counts!  Remember the fierce contest between Bush and Gore?  Please respect the voters who haven’t made up their minds by understanding that many of them are on the fence; give them a reason to support your team.  For those who choose to support Obama-Biden…it gives them an unfair advantage to influence the voters; who may feel abandoned by half of the Presidential nominees.

         We are a unique state, in a lot of ways.  We are also mavericks.  We have overcome alot.  Many of us, those who have continued to stay in Michigan despite the economic difficulties, are strong willed.  We have been overlooked in the primaries…our votes were cut in half.  Do you think that is ok with us?  No!  Now we are being told that you aren’t thinking that we are worth your time to campaign here; because, some stupid polls are saying that Obama is ahead in numbers?  Come on…give us some credit for making our own decisions politically.  Polls don’t always transition to winning votes when push comes to shove.  Your decision to exclude Michigan from further campaigning is going to carry some serious impact on the outcome of the election.  Every votes counts…are you willing to gamble with the votes that you have already gained by ignorning those who haven’t made up their minds?

         With your history of heroic action in the military…i didn’t figure you for a quitter.  What if your country had given up on you?   Your running mate doesn’t appear to give up easily!  If you trust her decision making ability, you will reconsider the decision to stop campaigning in Michigan.  I say to you…when things look the bleakest…that is when the most amazing things happen; things miraculous! 

         Take a stand, send Sarah; matter of a fact… come back yourself.  Even the runt of a litter that gets picked rewards it’s caretaker with loyalty.  This state has a history of turning things around…we’ve done it before…and, we are going to do it again.  We have gone through difficulties with businesses closing up and moving out of state or, out of country; we have had the automobile industry take some hard hits…we have struggled to survive.  We are going to be on the forefront of the alternative energy field…we are going to turn the economic predictions for Michigan on it’s head.

         We don’t forget those that stick by us.   Maybe it is time to remind you that Detroit, one of the biggest cities in Michigan, has been RECENTLY scandalized by Detroit’s former mayor, DEMOCRAT Kwame Kilpatrick and his behavior.   We want a candidate for President who respects the citizens of this nation and has their best interest at heart.  Is that candidate you?

         Michigan remembers the bullying tactics that Kilpatrick’s team allegedly used to try to stay in power…Republicans could use that behavior in their favor; as they try to win this state in the Presidential election.  Come on, refocus on the voters in Michigan that have been feeling neglected, abused and in-validated over the last year, in the tug of war for votes.  It is time to remind the world that Republicans understand that, every vote counts!

        There is a grass roots effort to get 100,000 signatures on a petition to bring the McCain-Palin campaign back to michigan here: www.fightformichigan.com  Make your voice heard!  If you only hear once side of an argument (or campaign) how do you think that will influence the outcome?  There is another organization that is going to try to express the opposition to the Obama-Biden campaign message www.ourcountrydeservesbetter.com,  by spending up to $500,000 on advertising a Stop Obama campaign.  People can’t make informed choices if they are only given one choice…all we ask is give us options in our choosing!

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MySpace Might Mean Federal Prison

       In a surprising turn of events, a Missouri woman named Ms. Lori Drew is being brought up on charges stemming from a 13 year old girl’s suicide; her name was Megan Meier.  It is surprising because some people in law enforcement believe this area of law to be untried; prosecuting cyber stalking/bullying has not been commonly taken to the legal arena of the court room.  MySpace might mean federal prison for those involved in the alledged hoax.

       Lori Drew, and a 19 year old employee named Ashley Grills, were allegedly involved in creating a MySpace profile of a young man named “Josh Evans” who contacted Megan and initiated a online relationship.  MySpace is a social networking site.  As time went on, “Josh” became abusive online and even went so far as to say that the world would be a better place without her in it …and, that he no longer wanted to be friends with her.  Within an hour of that online conversation…Megan was dead. 

        Not long ago Ashley Grills, the 19 year old employee, did a television interview alledging that Lori Drew was involved in some of the postings.  Ms. Drew denies this…but, she has now been indicted by a federal grand jury on charges of conspiracy and three counts of accessing protected computers without authorization.   This whole case is tragic.

          Supposedly, according to Ms. Grills, the whole hoax was set up to find out if Megan was saying anything about Ms. Drew’s daughter.  This hoax has had horrible consequences.  Young Megan is dead, Ms. Grills is probably next in line for some kind of legal consequences unless she has procured immunity for her testimoney; Megan’s family is mourning the death of their child, Ms. Drew could end up in federal prison, and a neighborhood is torn apart as the Drew and the Meier families lived in the same neighborhood at the time of the tragedy. 

        The outcome of this case could have long lasting impact on how people conduct themselves online, in chat lines or in social networking sites.  It is imperative that people monitor their children when they are online for safety reasons.  Words have power to put down or lift up and people are going to be held accountable legally. 

       It might be a good time to remind people that we have impact on those around us…why not make it a positive IMPACT!  Check this out…  http://theimpactfactor.net?id=35.

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Parental Disappointments

         There are alot of things in life that are disappointing.  Parenting is one of those areas in life where we really desire and expect to excell.  I don’t know why we expect things to turn out well when there is no exact parenting plan to follow.  When a child is full grown and turns out well; meaning that they are productive, respectful, well- educated, and, showing caring and concern for others…it is no small feat.

           In today’s society, in America, it seems successful parenting is almost a rarity.  If you can get a child through elementary school without being expelled for violence, sexual harrassment, bullying, profanity, drug/alcohol use; well then, you are considered a paragon of virtue.

         You see we allow our kids to be exposed to violence on television 4 or 5 hours a day, we dont filter what they see in between shows regarding commercials with more skin than a newborn baby exposes, sexual innuendo’s on “family entertainment shows”, magazines with suggestive pictures and titles, we have lowered the bar on the level of respect that is reflected in their conversations, and their behaviors are over the top because consequences are not consistent. 

           Let me tell you, stepping into the schools today is a bit like stepping into another world…even children as young as elementary school aged children are not immune from these types of issues.  The lack of discipline, manners, respect and appropriate behaviors is staggering. Teachers have a thankless job.  Chaos reins in the classroom because the teachers have to spend so much time dealing with behaviors that educating the children often comes in second place to discipline. 

           Moving on to middle school is no less disallusioning.  The negative attitudes and behaviors have only amplified into open contempt.  By this age, many students have been led to believe that they are their own person and as such really do not have to listen to their parents.  Rebellion has taken on a life of it’s own.  Even students who wish to learn in school have trouble doing so because of the chaos going on around them in school. 

           Schools officials try to have more influence on the kids as many households have no control over their children whatsoever.   When they can’t control the kids…they call in law enforcement.   Some schools even  hand out condoms and medical advice, refusing to inform the parents because of privacy issues!!!  Say what?  Who’s child is this?  Who is legally responsible for providing for that child…not the school, surely.

           When the troubles come…and they do…then the system pulls in the parents and expects them to correct the situation or control the child.  The parental authority has been diminished by each and every person who trys to chip away at that God given authority….whether it be a school counselor, sports coach, the students very own peers, organizational leaders or whomever it may be.  It can’t be both ways…others can’t be in control of the students and still expect the parents to have the same influential authority that they should have had from the beginning.

         High School…now here is the real breakdown.  Parents are a killjoy.  They are always telling their children no.  They are trying to control their teens.  Rules are meant to be broken; right?  Yet when it comes right down to it…who is left with the responsibility when the teens have crossed the line…and entered into something illegal, immoral, or something self-destructive?  It is the parents.    Is it any wonder that many families are broken beyond repair?  We need to get back to having appropriate boundaries and expectations; so that our children know that they are loved and that they have someone close to them who cares what happens to them.

              It should be the most natural thing in the world, to turn to your parents when a kid finds themselves in trouble.  Often they are not the first person that a kid turns to.   Many times, it is a misquided, ill-informed, or rebellious peer; or, another enabling adult who wants to befriend the teen in some ignorant attempt to feel better about themselves.  This is the environment we are raising our children in today. 

         So, when a teen or preteen comes into your presence and complains about the evil parent they have at home…listen to the complaints carefully before you are pulled in.  It could just be a venting session like every other teen in the history of time.  If it is a genuine situation that needs intervention, such as real abuse or neglect, then by all means…recommend they talk to a professional. 

          Parenting isn’t easy; parenting when you are a teen is even more difficult.  When people decide to have children…they don’t think of all of the problems to come their way in the future.  When starting a family…you dream of the good things to come your way; and that is how it should be.  Parenting shouldn’t be mainly about disappointments…it should be about successes.

        

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