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Posts Tagged ‘choices’

      Wow, I can’t imagine, as a parent, how horrifying it would be to me to have one of my daughter’s move in with someone who was suspected of killing not one but possibly two of his wives.   However, that is the exact scenerio that Ernest Raines, father of Christina Raines-Drew Peterson’s fiance, is facing this week. 

       Ernest Raines is extremely worried and concerned that his 24 year old daughter has moved out of the residence that she shared with her previous boyfriend, and moved in with Drew Peterson the former police sergeant from Chicago. 

        Christina and Drew became engaged in December after becoming involved with one another approximately four months previous to that.  Drew has been considered a suspect, by many, in the  suspicious disappearance of his fourth wife Stacy at the end of October 2007.  Drew’s third wife , died under mysterious circumstances, in 2004, and that death has recently been classified as a homicide. 

        It is no wonder that Christina’s father Ernest is seriously concerned about his daughter’s well being considering the fact that 2 of Drew’s 4 wives have either gone missing or died under questionable circumstances.  Not only has Christina moved into Drew’s home; but , so have her very young children, ages 4 and 5. 

        Christina is a legal adult and is free to make her own choices regarding her personal life; even if she doesn’t believe that she is in some kind of danger.  However, she is the parent of two young children and it’s not good parenting to put them in the middle of a situation where they could possibly be in danger. 

          Parents across the nation have had their children removed from their custody for lesser reasons.  There are reports that the two young children’s birth father, Tony Yauk,  has allegedly been asking authorities how he goes about getting custody of those children.  If  I were in his position…I would do the very same thing. 

          If you are a parent who perceives that your children are in danger and you do nothing…that is considered failure to protect.  I would ask Christina if her relationship with Drew Peterson is worth the possible loss of custody of her biological children?  Shouldn’t your own flesh and blood come before any romantic relationship?  If  her relationship with Drew is so important to her …maybe she should consider relinquishing custody to the father of her children; or, maybe even to her own parents or relatives; if they are appropriate people to be caregivers.

         You also have to wonder about a woman who would start a relationship with a man who is 30 years older than her; who has also been the subject of much speculation regarding previous relationships.  How do you put those concerns aside and consider becoming his 5th wife and move your children into that environment?  What needs, of Christina’s, are being met by being romatically involved with Drew Peterson?  Why would Drew Peterson want more attention drawn to him after all of this time of scrutiny from the authorities and the media?

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Hello Readers…today you are in for a very special treat; my very good friend and fellow blogger, Connie Baum, has agreed to guest blog for me today.  I think you will be blessed by hearing what she has to say on a very important topic it is:  What is the toughest choice you ever had to make?

For me, it was the decision to place my own son into a nursing facility. It was incredibly painful for me and for him. I was sure at the time I would never be able to forgive myself for making the choice I did.

He, on the other hand, thought he had done something wrong and he was being punished by not being allowed to live at home any more.

It was an unbearably miserable time for our whole family.

You’ll be pleased to know that there is a happy ending to this drama. Even though he was not expected to live much longer after his admission to the nursing home, he stayed in that facility for ten years, thriving as the years unfolded. At the end of a decade he was able to live successfully in a group home, work in a sheltered workshop, and create a whole new life for himself at the tender age of 39!

Here’s hoping your family never has to make those kinds of choices. The chances are good, however, that you will be faced with not only WHETHER to place your loved one in a professional setting but WHICH facility to choose.

I have discovered a wonderful resource for dealing with this issue. It is a handbook of ‘How To’ prepared by a former Nursing Home Administrator and legal guardian of two nursing home residents. She knows what’s really going on and can help you navigate and negotiate the process of choosing the right facility for the right reasons! The name of this book: “Nursing Home Secrets Revealed“, authored by Aileen Avinedo, RN, BSN

I’m not the only one who thinks this woman has good advice. Look what this man had to say:

“This is the most comprehensive book on nursing homes I have ever read. As a physician who has visited many facilities (nursing, assisted living, and independent living) I found the information to be thorough and accurate. Aileen correctly identifies the important issues one faces when considering a long term care facility for their family member or themselves. This book is an asset for this type of search.”
–Dr. Bryan F. Walther
Loveland, Ohio

Aileen Avinedo is making a difference in Senior Care. Please look carefully at the sage advice she offers. It can make a difference for you and your loved ones, too!

Thank you Connie…you are a blessing.  Check out Connie here: http://www.motherconniesez.blogspot.com/ or www.foodstampscookingclub.com, www.foodstampcookingclub.com/blog, or www.thehealthyandwealthyyou.com, www.motherconnie.com.

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Have you ever noticed that people who have an attitude of thankfulness in their heart are much more pleasant people to be around?  That fact was brought home yesterday, when I knew that we would be surrounded with family who has that view on life.  It is not so much that life is perfectly happy and content…it is an attitude of grattitude.  Knowing in your heart that things can get better when they are not the way that you wish them to be.  The future has a way of working itself out when living situations are not as you want them to be.

       The point was driven home that it is a choice to experience life to it’s fullness by a phone call.  It was a person who is going through a very difficult thing in life…divorce.  He had called the night before and was very morose and abrupt.  He SAYS that he called to wish us a Happy Thanksgiving.  But it didn’t feel that way; and my husband was not available to talk to him till the next morning… on Thanksgiving.

       So my husband calls him back to return the “good wishes” only to be greeted and treated to the same monotone voice that i heard.  He was filled with despair.  When wished a Happy Thanksgiving…he actually replied; “What is there to be thankful for?”

       Then he said, that is why i called you yesterday; to AVOID the whole Thanksgiving Day thing! Then why call at all?  Did he really mean it that he wished for us to have a Happy Thanksgiving or did he want to let us know, that while we were having a Happy Thanksgiving, he was miserable? 

       I asked him the night before what he was going to do on Thanksgiving after trying to support him through the short conversation; only to become disconnected on the phone.  Or that is what i thought, until the next day when my husband experienced his phone call with this person.  He too experienced a disconnect with him…co-incidence? 

        I don’t think it was…i think he was hanging up in his misery.  That is sad, it is disturbing, it is heart wrenching.  It was also angering; because, he does have much to be thankful for.  He has a job, he has a place to live, he has  children for which to be thankful for.   The phone calls were a blantant bid for sympathy; and, an opportunity to dump his chosen mood of misery on other human beings.  How we choose to live our lives is just that, a choice.  You can “let life happen to you” or you can choose to wring every last joy or pleasure out of it while you have it.

       It isn’t that we don’t care about the misery that he is going through in his divorce.  But the truth is, that no one else can give you happiness or peace.   You can’t put life on hold or it will pass you by…leaving you with a plate full of regrets!

      Now there is more suffering.  It is unavoidable at this point.  There are two choices…to accept the ending and move forward…or wallow in the misery and resentment.  This person still has children to be a parent to; siblings to have relationships with; and, the person is still young enough to learn from their mistakes and rebuild their life with another person, if he so chooses.  This person is a good person.  I wish for him happiness.  I wish for him healing and joy in life.  If i could box it up and give it to him…i would…but i am afraid…he doesn’t know how to accept it. 

       Life is short.  We must approach it with care.  Is life always going to give us what we want, when we want it, the way we want it on a silver platter?  No.  Can we still choose to live joyously and fully?  Yes, i believe we can.  Let’s help each other along by giving encouragement, when we are ALLOWED to!

      Have you ever noticed that people who have an attitude of thankfulness in their heart are much more pleasant people to be around?  That fact was brought home yesterday, when I knew that we would be surrounded with family who has that view on life.  It is not so much that life is perfectly happy and content…it is an attitude of grattitude.  Knowing in your heart that things can get better when they are not the way that you wish them to be.  The future has a way of working itself out when living situations are not as you want them to be.

       The point was driven home that it is a choice to experience life to it’s fullness by a phone call.  It was a person who is going through a very difficult thing in life…divorce.  He had called the night before and was very morose and abrupt.  He SAYS that he called to wish us a Happy Thanksgiving.  But it didn’t feel that way; and my husband was not available to talk to him till the next morning… on Thanksgiving.

       So my husband calls him back to return the “good wishes” only to be greeted and treated to the same monotone voice that i heard.  He was filled with despair.  When wished a Happy Thanksgiving…he actually replied; “What is there to be thankful for?”

       Then he said, that is why i called you yesterday; to AVOID the whole Thanksgiving Day thing! Then why call at all?  Did he really mean it that he wished for us to have a Happy Thanksgiving or did he want to let us know, that while we were having a Happy Thanksgiving, he was miserable? 

       I asked him the night before what he was going to do on Thanksgiving after trying to support him through the short conversation; only to become disconnected on the phone.  Or that is what i thought, until the next day when my husband experienced his phone call with this person.  He too experienced a disconnect with him…co-incidence? 

        I don’t think it was…i think he was hanging up in his misery.  That is sad, it is disturbing, it is heart wrenching.  It was also angering; because, he does have much to be thankful for.  He has a job, he has a place to live, he has  children for which to be thankful for.   The phone calls were a blantant bid for sympathy; and, an opportunity to dump his chosen mood of misery on other human beings.  How we choose to live our lives is just that, a choice.  You can “let life happen to you” or you can choose to wring every last joy or pleasure out of it while you have it.

       It isn’t that we don’t care about the misery that he is going through in his divorce.  But the truth is, that no one else can give you happiness or peace.   You can’t put life on hold or it will pass you by…leaving you with a plate full of regrets!

      Now there is more suffering.  It is unavoidable at this point.  There are two choices…to accept the ending and move forward…or wallow in the misery and resentment.  This person still has children to be a parent to; siblings to have relationships with; and, the person is still young enough to learn from their mistakes and rebuild their life with another person, if he so chooses.  This person is a good person.  I wish for him happiness.  I wish for him healing and joy in life.  If i could box it up and give it to him…i would…but i am afraid…he doesn’t know how to accept it. 

       Life is short.  We must approach it with care.  Is life always going to give us what we want, when we want it, the way we want it on a silver platter?  No.  Can we still choose to live joyously and fully?  Yes, i believe we can.  Let’s help each other along by giving encouragement, when we are ALLOWED to!

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         Last Thursday, the McCain campaign decided to stop aggressively campaigning in Michigan.  This is a mistake, as Sarah Palin at least recognizes.  She has expressed a desire to come back to Michigan to continue campaigning.  I say to you Senator McCain…Michigan Matters!!!  Do not give up on Michigan. 

         The voter’s in Michigan can make a big difference in this Presidential campaign; every vote counts!  Remember the fierce contest between Bush and Gore?  Please respect the voters who haven’t made up their minds by understanding that many of them are on the fence; give them a reason to support your team.  For those who choose to support Obama-Biden…it gives them an unfair advantage to influence the voters; who may feel abandoned by half of the Presidential nominees.

         We are a unique state, in a lot of ways.  We are also mavericks.  We have overcome alot.  Many of us, those who have continued to stay in Michigan despite the economic difficulties, are strong willed.  We have been overlooked in the primaries…our votes were cut in half.  Do you think that is ok with us?  No!  Now we are being told that you aren’t thinking that we are worth your time to campaign here; because, some stupid polls are saying that Obama is ahead in numbers?  Come on…give us some credit for making our own decisions politically.  Polls don’t always transition to winning votes when push comes to shove.  Your decision to exclude Michigan from further campaigning is going to carry some serious impact on the outcome of the election.  Every votes counts…are you willing to gamble with the votes that you have already gained by ignorning those who haven’t made up their minds?

         With your history of heroic action in the military…i didn’t figure you for a quitter.  What if your country had given up on you?   Your running mate doesn’t appear to give up easily!  If you trust her decision making ability, you will reconsider the decision to stop campaigning in Michigan.  I say to you…when things look the bleakest…that is when the most amazing things happen; things miraculous! 

         Take a stand, send Sarah; matter of a fact… come back yourself.  Even the runt of a litter that gets picked rewards it’s caretaker with loyalty.  This state has a history of turning things around…we’ve done it before…and, we are going to do it again.  We have gone through difficulties with businesses closing up and moving out of state or, out of country; we have had the automobile industry take some hard hits…we have struggled to survive.  We are going to be on the forefront of the alternative energy field…we are going to turn the economic predictions for Michigan on it’s head.

         We don’t forget those that stick by us.   Maybe it is time to remind you that Detroit, one of the biggest cities in Michigan, has been RECENTLY scandalized by Detroit’s former mayor, DEMOCRAT Kwame Kilpatrick and his behavior.   We want a candidate for President who respects the citizens of this nation and has their best interest at heart.  Is that candidate you?

         Michigan remembers the bullying tactics that Kilpatrick’s team allegedly used to try to stay in power…Republicans could use that behavior in their favor; as they try to win this state in the Presidential election.  Come on, refocus on the voters in Michigan that have been feeling neglected, abused and in-validated over the last year, in the tug of war for votes.  It is time to remind the world that Republicans understand that, every vote counts!

        There is a grass roots effort to get 100,000 signatures on a petition to bring the McCain-Palin campaign back to michigan here: www.fightformichigan.com  Make your voice heard!  If you only hear once side of an argument (or campaign) how do you think that will influence the outcome?  There is another organization that is going to try to express the opposition to the Obama-Biden campaign message www.ourcountrydeservesbetter.com by spending up to $500,000 on advertising a Stop Obama campaign.  People can’t make informed choices if they are only given one choice…all we ask is give us options in our choosing!

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         What a stinking mess we are living with.  Fear smells up a place…we have a huge financial crisis, a huge political crisis; and, it could be a privotal moment of rescue or a plunge into the abyss and truthfully, the whole thing could go either way!

          Huge meetings are taking place in Washington…panic is like a throbbing headache…it is there making it presence known…threatening to turn into something much worse than a mere pain.  Into the frey, we have a bailout plan that was possibly agreed upon, until some say McCain derailed it with the House Republicans who disagreed strongly with parts of the plan. 

          Throw on top of that…a debate that is scheduled for tonight between Sen. McCain and Sen. Barack Obama.  Battle lines have been drawn, in a somewhat blurry manner.  Sen. Obama says he will definately show up for the debate…McCain says…we should reschedule the debate and focus on this immediate crisis with a plan for the financial stabilization for our country.  Our leaders have been in financial denial too long to let this negatively impact our country any longer.  It is time for commitment to understanding the problem and taking action.

          Who is correct…Obama says the debates are important to help the people understand how the Senators would handle things if they were the chosen one for the Presidential office.  McCain says, these meetings in Washington are critical and that they should be involved in them.  This whole thing is larger than a difference of opinion.  Does it say something very basic about Obama’s nature to hold to the plan for the debate when all of the rest of the country is focussed on this crisis?  Does he feel set apart from it all?  Or is he making a statement by letting the others take the action behind the scenes?  Is he right to stay out of it?  Or should he be more involved? If he doesn’t get involved in the planning of the bailout…will he understand best how to run the country if he should win the election?  Will Obama will the voter’s approval in November for not going to Washington at this time? 

        Is McCain right to be in the middle of things?  Should he be in there fighting for the things to be included or excluded in the bailout plan?  If he wins the election will it help him to run the country by being involved in the planning of the bailout?  Should he back out of it and go do the debate?  Will McCain’s involvement hurt his chances for election in November?  Or will he be seen as trying to make a difference?  Does his involvement help or hurt his chances for election?

          What i don’t understand is why they both can’t be right?  Why can’t the debate be moved to Washington and take place there…while the rest of their time could be focussed on the meetings to keep current on what is happening behind closed doors.  Those meeting are going to not only impact the country in deep and profound ways…but, will also impact whoever does end up in the Presidential position!  This is real, this is so much bigger than either of the candidates and they both need to understand that the American people are going to have their decision made for them by the end of this crisis!

          This is no time for game playing, no time for political mud slinging, no time for experimentation…this country is looking for someone to take the helm of this country and be proactive in guiding the ship to a safer, less rocky course than it is on at this very moment in time. 

          Wall Street is in turmoil, the American tax paying public is in no position to fund a bailout when most of it’s residents are barely surviving as it is.  Banks are collapsing, housing is bottoming out, businesses are busting out all over the place, people’s investments and retirements are in jeparody…this is shaky ground; reminescent of what happened in Russia just a few short years ago. 

          Other countries are getting nervous as well.  Beware of the person who says they have all of the answers…because no one possibly can.  This is uncharted areas of expertise.  The last thing we need is a knee jerk policy…however, we need to start doing some major corrective action or things will not be able to recover. 

           Anyone with half of a brain knows that you don’t make crucial decisions when everything is imploding…because you need to make rational choices.  How in the heck did we get this far gone in this country before the “experts” in the markets and financial infrastructure sent up a red flag or a flare?  Couldn’t they see this coming down the road early enough to start changing the direction of this disaster?

           People’s very quality of life is slipping through the cracks of our governing body.  Something has to be done…but, who knows best?  Who do we trust?  Are we going to waste time having a political showdown between the two very people who could possibly be running the government in less than two or three months?  The sky is falling people…the sky is falling…for real this time; we are not crying wolf when we say…we need an immediate comprehensive plan to stop this country from disappearing into a black hole in the universe!  It is time to pray for the leadership of this country and ask that they be given wisdom in their decision making!!!  update:  Breaking news…McCain now says: he WILL attend the debate this evening in Oxford, Mississippi!

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        Oprah has been doing an “experiment”…she has been following a vegan diet for 21 days to increase her spiritual awareness of food.  The experiment was induced by author Kathy Feston of the book, Quantam Wellness.  The diet puts into practice the removal of alcohol, animal products, gluten, and sugar and caffeine from a person’s daily meals and snacks.  (more…)

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        Senator Barack Obama and Dr. Dobson, from Focus on the Family, have brought out their dueling swords…their bible’s and their interpetations of the scriptures as it applies to each person’s choices in their daily living. (more…)

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