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Posts Tagged ‘comfort’

       You may have noticed that I haven’t posted here in a few days…I have moved; that is my big news.   I sure would love it if you would come and see me at my new environment.  It will look familiar to you, it will still feel comfortable and yet, because change is change…it will be a little bit different.  I will still write about all that is going on in the world, my observations and opinions.  I had to move and expand my wings.    Come and see me anyway; relationships are no fun when it is only one -sided…if i write…who will read?  http://www.writewhereyouareblog.com  I miss your company and your comments on my blog!!!

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I know people who are struggling, people who have cut back in every conceivable way to save money just to stay afloat.  I also know people who are living very comfortably in nice homes, with fancy vehicles, going out to eat regularily and have no worries when it comes to bills or their health.  The world definately has classes of people who are in the haves and the have nots.  There is also a large population of people who are somewhere in the middle.  The thing is…we all have things that we could share.  Blessings come in many packages.

Everyone of us has gifts, talents, finances, possessions, strengths, knowledge or time that we could share with others.  What I love to celebrate and learn about are those who share those blessings with others without thought or expectation of getting something back from that experience of sharing.

Our society is going through some amazingly challenging times…people are struggling.  We need to be aware of others around us who are in need…those who could use a little pick me up.  It could be a kind word, a nice deed, financial gift, or it could be a sharing of knowledge that could bring a positive change to another.   There is a spiritual attitude that I love, it says this: “Those to whom much is given, much is expected in return”.  I call that an attitude of gratitude; being thankful for all that you have been blessed with and a willingness to share it with others!   I challenge you to find some way to bless others in your daily life.   Consider this a compassionate call to action…what can you give to others with no strings attached?

I have moved my site to a new Url: WriteWhereYouAre if you are interested in reading more blog posts!

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       Have you ever talked with someone, in person or on the phone, and FELT the pain that they were going through?  Staying connected to those around us demands an attitude of awareness and compassion.  Having a relationship with others, that goes beyond the surface, requires time, attention, and sensitivity.  Are you able to feel someone else’s pain?

        Communicating comfort, love and caring towards others is easy.  All you have to do is reach out to them, for them to feel that love and caring.  Will they talk about their pain; it depends on whether they are ready or not.  Some people internalize what they are going through…they can’t share it until they have processed what they are struggling with.  Others unload their challenges at the drop of a hat. 

       The key to staying connected and being helpful to another person; is knowing that person well enough to know how they handle painful situations.  If they need someone to talk to when dealing with difficulties, try to be there for them.  If they need time to process what they are going through…make sure they know they can call on you when they are ready to talk it out. 

       Lately, it seems like there are too many news reports of people who have broken under stress or pain and have become desperate…hurting themselves or someone else that they professed to love.  It doesn’t have to be that way.  If everyone tried to be more aware of those around them…this world would be a better place.  Do you know someone who is hurting; or, is it you who is going through a hard time?

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       As a person living in the midwest, in one of the coldest, snowiest winters in the last 25 years…i have to say i was irritated when i read that since President Obama moved into the White House the thermostat has allegedly gone up.  For a man who made it part of his campaign to encourage Americans to sacrifice for the world environment and to take on a personal responsibility regarding climate changes; I am offended by an article that i read today that says the Oval office is like a tropical hot house, warm enough to grow orchids in.  Someone needs to hold this administration accountable in these types of areas…turn down the heat on President Obama.

       Across our nation right now, many Americans are without electric or typical normal heat sources because of an ice storm, that is going to take weeks to fix.  This is during some truly challenging temperatures as our country transitions between winter and spring.

       Part of the perception of the recent, more relaxed environment in the Oval office…meaning that visitors no longer have to wear suit jackets when they enter in like the former administration; is really more about personal comfort levels.  It isn’t mainly about being relaxed in that room as much as it is about it being warm; so that wearing a suit and tie would be really uncomfortable.  While I applaude the more informal feel to this Presidency…I have to say that even the White House staff and aides have commented on the temperature change; including his chief of staff, David Axelrod who  allegedly, made the statement about the orchids growing in there.

         The article I read said something to the effect that even though President Obama comes from Chicago…he was born in Hawaii, and he likes being warm.  Well, no fake…most of us don’t enjoy being colder than is comfortable…but , what about that personal sacrifice he was talking about before?  I dont want to bust his chops on this or any other issue just for the sake of it…but…this subject is a little close to home when my own family has to keep the furnace set on 58-60 degrees because of the necessity of the high cost of heating our home.

        Another, more important reason this is so maddening is that in my home state…there have been several people who have frozen to death.  A man by the name of Marvin E. Schur, 93 years old, froze to death recently in Bay City, Michigan because the electric company put a limiter on his electric service and his home power was shut off…effectively causing his heating source to stop working.  He died…come on…was that President Obama’s fault….no!  However, when i hear polyanna remarks justifying his higher temperature on the thermostat in the Oval office; it makes me angry to know that others are SUFFERING AND DYING when there are others who have so much and are wasteful with it.  It is not right.

        So please President Obama…you have so many other more important things on your plate…turn down the heat in the White House so that your actions match your words and your call for personal responsibility.   That way, those who would otherwise be inspired by you and your goals of helping our nation turn towards more green living and a more positive use of our energy sources can get on board without having to defend your conflict of words and actions!  Be an inspirational leader so that you can have a powerful impact on our country with responsibile energy use.

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     Each time that new information is announced regarding the Caylee Anthony case; it is more heartbreaking than the last released information.  Caylee Anthony, for those who don’t know, or don’t remember, is the young 2 year old child who was missing for months ; before her mother, Casey Anthony, was jailed for lying to the police about her diappearance.  Caylee was murdered and that murder was covered up.  Someone  didn’t want the secret of the murdered child Caylee to be known…it is as if, by hiding her body and duct taping her mouth, they were saying; Caylee don’t tell.

      The new information being released to the public states that Caylee was found inside of a laundry bag, which was placed inside of a plastic bag and dumped in a wooded area not far from where she lived with her mother and grandparents.

         Inside of those bags, was a winnie the pooh blanket, pull ups, a knife, a backpack that said adorable and Caylee’s body.  She had duct tape over her mouth that also had residue from a sticker that was heart shaped.  The duct tape went over her mouth and was stuck in her hair as well.

           Her mouth was duct taped people!   The psychological implications of that is terrible.  It says alot.  It says, to me, that she was murdered by someone that she knew…someone that she could tell others about.  Someone who was suposed to care about her, ie: the heart sticker, the comfort items such as the winnie the pooh blanket, pull ups, and her backpack, put her inside of those bags and left her with items that would, in other circumstances, bring her comfort.   Then they put a heart sticker on the duct tape that covered her mouth? 

        What conflicting information does this give us about the person who killed a two year old child?  Did they love her or didn’t they?  How could they murder her and leave her body laying about like a bag of garbage to be disposed of?  Who knows what; and, why didn’t they tell what they knew? 

     In the end, forensic testing is going to tell us alot about what happened to Caylee.  I think between the evidence found at the site where her body was found as well as the evidence taken from the Anthony home will reveal alot.  The computers that family and friends of Caylee use will reveal more information…maybe enough to piece together what really happened to this beautiful child who would have turned three that summer.   It is nothing but sadness…because this case does not have a happy ending…Caylee is gone…and so far, her murderer is not known without a doubt.

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Just a little white blanket to dress things up!

Just a little white blanket to dress things up!

      Depending on your view of a snow day, that probably tells me about your age, unless,  you are an excitable kid at heart.  Many adults find it hard to remember the extreme joy of a snow day.  Adults get bogged down in the difficulty of driving in it, the danger of slipping on the snow and ice, the cost of heating their homes, and the inconvience of having heavy snow and ice removed from the sidewalk and the driveway.  It’s not that those aren’t legitimate concerns…but, there is another side to a snow day; do you remember?

 

         Kids, on the other hand, look at the rare snow day as a gift from God!  LOL   A sn0w day is like a reprieve from death row (school) to a kid.   It is a day filled with endless possiblities, such as: sledding, ice skating, snow boarding, making snow angels, building a snowman, skiing, snowshoeing, snowmobiling, cross-country skiing, ice fishing, throwing snowballs…in other words…having a blast in the white stuff.

         Thinking about the pristine, sparkly white snow; glittering on the surface of the trees and homes…what beautiful photos that would make.  Send a photo to your friends, in other warmer states, who don’t get to enjoy the fluffy, white blanket that covers everything as far as  the eyes can see.

         So, depending on where you live; what will you do with your next “snow day”.  Today, hmmmmm…it is full of possibilities to the kid in all of us.  Maybe even for some of us older kids…it might just include snuggling up with a comforting cup of  frothy, hot chocolate; and, reliving some of yesterday’s memories of  OUR favorite snow day! 

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      This week we celebrated two very special things here in the United States: one was Monday, November 10th which was the Marine Corps Birthday…and yesterday, which was Veteran’s Day.  Both dates give honor to our military men and women.  We should celebrate our armed forces because they sacrifice so much for us.  We have men and women who are seperated from their families, often in dangerous situations; defending our country and those in other countries who need defended.

       We have some pretty awesome troops who need support.  I have heard about a wonderful program that does just that.  It is a program that would be a wonderful project for school children or teen youth groups across the nation.   Activity directors in nursing homes would also be a great source for this project.  Even former Veterans can continue to serve their country by reaching out to those who presently serve our great country in the Army, Navy, Coast Guard, Air Force and the Marines. 

       The idea behind http://www.make2tell2.com is to make 2 cards of love and tell 2 others about the project.  They can be holiday cards or just cards that express respect and caring.  This is a great way to lift the spirits of those serving our country when they need an emotional pick me up.  These cards can express patriotism, faith, gratitude, caring, support, encouragement, and communicate comfort to those who need it!

         Please spread the word…get involved…support our troops today.  It doesn’t take much effort and it can mean so very much to the individual who receives it.  After you make the cards…please send them to:  Make 2 Tell 2, 991 Road
325, Harvard, NE 68944  This is also a great way to teach young people about service and about community.  We all need encouragement at times…this is a wonderful way to do that for our troops overseas; it can have a tremendous impact on our military personel.  Thank you!

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     Today has been one of those lazy, do nothing and enjoy it kind of days.  Those are few and far between…but, so very necessary for the soul to rest and build up strength to do what must be done every other day of the week. 

      It has been cold and wet.  We woke up this morning to a growing blanket of fluffy white snow…the first of the season, to lightly coat the ground.  Of course, it did not stay there because the ground is not frozen yet…so, the warmth of the earth melted the brilliant, white snow early in the day.  This is just a mini preview of what is to come in the next few weeks.

       The snow brought joy to my child’s face…and, a look of acceptance to mine 🙂  Now is the time to contemplate making a nice homemade, chunky sort of comfort meal…like maybe a hot, hearty chicken noodle soup with homemade dumplings…or maybe a rich, smooth, smoky pea soup, or possibly a filling fall harvest kind of soup with some happy orange carrots, and some limey green cabbage surrounding floating chunks of the all american staple of potatoes in a nice rich broth of ham pieces or some pieces of bacon. However, this is work…and, cannot stand alone.  One must complement the meal with some fresh- from- the- oven homemade doughy, buttery rolls.  This is the treat that we offer ourselves when the reality of 6 months of cold, wet, dark and dreary winter comes sneaking upon us.  Oh, if that sounds ominous…then you will have to come back on another day when the snow is cherished and given glory…just not today when i have to grow to appreciate it’s beauty.

       Golly, you will just have to check back in a few weeks, when i paint the picture of a cheery morning; when the snow crystals sparkle in the sunlight and underscore the weight of the evergreen branches that bow under the weight of the heavy flakes of snow that have fallen overnight, much to our surprise.  Then you will see that the human spirit is flexible and has the wisdom to recognize all of the gifts in life. 

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      So today was a great day.  After a very long, work filled week; we took a family day.  We went out for a ride to another local town.  We went to lunch and then as a family we went shopping.  My hubby found something that he has said he wanted for years.  We splurged on ourselves for once…not something we often do.

         The thing that has often been a subject of my husband’s desire?  Well, it was a down filled mattress topper.  That was a bit pricey…but hey, he has wanted one for years…and since we can’t afford a new bed…this was the next best thing. (more…)

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        Well, if you do any research at all on grieving you will find some very pat answers to describe what are considered “normal” stages of grieving.  There are actually “lists” and books of normal stages. 

         One of those lists is from a book called “Death and Dying”; i remember reading this in high school as part of a course on death and dying.  In the book the author, Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, identified five different stages of grieving, Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance.  Another book, written by Dr. Roberta Temes, called Living With An Empty Chair, identifies what she calls behaviors of grieving, she lists Numbness, Disorganization, and Reorganization.   Of course, there are other books that try to simplify the process to help us to understand it better; but, I think grief is much more complex than these lists imply.

        Grieving is different for everyone.  There is no ONE way, no one order of normal grieving that applys across the board for each and every person experiencing grief.  http://www.rainbows.org , http://www.dougy.org/, http://www.centerforloss.com/

        Whenever i see someone grieving, i think of grief almost as layers of an onion.  Each emotion is peeled away only to reveal another emotion or behaviorial response.  When all of the layers are peeled away to the final layer; there, deep inside is a green sprig that represents new life.  The goal is to get to that final layer and feel some sense of peace again.  http://www.journeyofhearts.org/.

           I think that people respond to their losses differently.  Even when a death is expected …emotions and behaviors are triggered that a survivor is not expecting to deal with.  This can be surprising to them; as they may feel that they thought they were prepared.  Facing a death that is traumatic or unexpected is devastating as well.  If the death is in the eye of the public, such as a public figure, or a death that is connected with a crime or tragedy, the grieving may be complicated because of the circumstances.   

          Those previous lists do hit on some emotions and behaviors that grievers experience; but, I feel that there are so many more layers and depths of grief that affect us. 

        Yes, there is shock, denial or disbelief, fear, anger, guilt, worry, busy work, distraction, forgetfulness, avoidance, risky behaviors, a sense of betrayal; second guessing oneself…what if i did this?  What if, i hadn’t done that?  …it is paralyzing to be stuck on that treadmill, when no answer is possible to satisfy the soul of the survivor. 

        For some people who are grieving, there is a sense of unforgiveness, alcohol abuse… sexual promiscuity… or drug use  to achieve numbness, depression, rage, wallowing in loss, hiding in the past, reliving those final moments and drowning in that experience; for some blame, hatred, litagation, revenge, loneliness, hurt, sadness, abandonment, and yes, hopefully acceptance.

         Finally, it should be a goal of the person who grieves to be able to acheive a healthy balance of their personal loss along with their memories of the deceased person.  In this area there can be found some comfort.  Wrapping yourself in positive memories, and positive activities is a very useful tool to move forward.  Setting a future goal to achieve, in memory of that person, can be helpful as well. 

          A person experiencing grief should not allow anyone to tell them to, just get over it…that it is time.  But, on the other hand, if some of your emotions or behaviors are damaging to you; or, other loved ones around you…you would be wise to listen to someone who truly cares and is concerned that maybe you are stuck in any one of those destructive emotions or behaviors. Try to listen if their concern has a genuine basis. 

        There is professional help if you feel you just aren’t on a healing path…but truly, only the person going through the grief knows what is going on inside of themselves.  It is important to give yourself permission to heal at your own pace.  Often, you will hear someone talk about closure…but…closure is an illusion; closure implies an ending to something. 

          Grieving never really ends because you are always experiencing some event or activity that triggers the thought that the deceased person is “missing” from that event or activity.   Closure doesn’t really happen…but, Healing Is Possible.

           There are some things that may help you to heal, in your time of loss, such as, connecting with others going through similar experiences, taking some time to meet your physical and emotional needs, take time off from work or school, finding comfort & support with friends or family who will listen to you and not judge you.   Don’t isolate yourself; find a support group, volunteer in your community, do something to honor the person you are grieving for, make a memory book, tape, video, or journal, take a vacation, seek spiritual guidance, or pray. 

         You know yourself best; and you know if you are not making progress in your journey from your loss…that is a time to seek help in your grieving.  If you are making progress…give yourself credit…and do something nice for yourself to mark the occasion.  Eventually, the good days start to out number the days when you feel lost and alone.  Ultimately time really does become an ally to those who struggle with the pain.

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