When Honor Is Perceived As Missing-Addressing Honor Killings

        Honor killings are used as a way to control behaviors typically in male dominated societies, often in the middle east.  Usually, we hear about a daughter, a neice, a sister, mother, or a wife who has been murdered for violating a traditional role in their interaction with other males outside of their family.  Unfortunately, this week honor killings are making news headlines because of a New York television owner’s death.  It is being alleged that Aasiya Hassan was killed by her husband Muzzammil under the heading of an honor killing because of her desire for a divorce after some domestic violence issues, allegedly between husband and wife.

         The Hassan’s started their television station in 2004; they did so because they wanted to combat any form of anti -Islamic sentiments that have been building since 911.  They called their station Bridges TV.

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Which Came First The Abortion Or The Birth?

       Grrrr…I am a bit torn on this news item; whether to feel more anger or sadness.  It seems that a young 18 year old woman found out that she was pregnant.  She went to a clinic to have an abortion and was given medicine to dialate her cervix to prepare for an abortion procedure.  Before the doctor could perform the abortion…the medication caused her to deliver her baby daughter at just 23weeks of pregnancy.

       A clinic owner allegedly came in and cut the umblical cord and put the child who was struggling to breathe into a red plastic biohazard bag and threw the child in the trash…all as the mother watched in horror.  Allegedly a doctor came in and gave her some medicine to calm her down and sent her home in shock.  The police were called and the child’s remains were identified by DNA as being related to the mother.  Now the mother has sued the doctor and the clinic where the delivery/abortion took place; the doctor has allegedly lost his license.

         This procedure took the life of a human baby almost three years ago.  That child would be walking, talking, singing it’s abc’s , potty training…and maybe even going to pre-school now.  She would be making her mother or another mother figure (she could have been adopted by another mother) mother’s day cards in May…she was not a blob of flesh like so many of these clinics try to tell young women.  She would be a daughter, and a granddaughter; if she could.

        The mother allegedly has said that she changed her mind about the abortion, once she saw her daughter  alive; now she is traumatized by the memory of watching her child struggle for breathe and being tossed away like a bag of garbage.   I am sure that the legal question was did the abortion come first/or the birth…was the child actually born alive?  Testing supposedly revealed that the child did actually breathe, so that means that she was born alive.

        So, who is to blame for this child’s death?  Is it the clinic owner, who by the way did not have a license to practice medicine allegedly?  Or was it the doctor who was not present?  Was it the mother who went in for an abortion in the first place?  Is it society who allows abortion in the first place?  Do we blame the makers of contraception for possibly having failed the mother and father of the child?  Who exactly is at fault?  I say, it is all of the above; at least morally, if not legally. 

        First of all, I believe that abortion is wrong.  I think that if it is true that a clinic owner, who was not a medical doctor, did what has been alledged, then they are also at fault.  I think if the doctor perscribed the medication that caused her to go into labor and deliver a live child that was indeed tossed away in a plastic bag when it was struggling to breath…they that doctor is also wrong.  Was there contraception used in the first place?  I dont know.  I do know that if the teenaged mother was having sex..she should have understood the consequences of her actions that resulted in a pregnancy and that by going to have an abortion…that that child’s death was a direct result of having medication that was designed to result in the death of the child; it should not have shocked her that the child died as a result of taking medication designed to cause said abortion.  Is society at fault here?  Yes, because we allow these things to happen …because we don’t stand up and scream bloody murder that it happens every day around the world. 

        Which came first, the  abortion or the birth?  Does it really matter at this point regarding this particular child?  No, it died needlessly.  If that mother was truly horrified by this situation…then maybe some good can come out of it by her lawsuit, by her speaking out…maybe even by doing a special service announcement on television or in the schools. 

         It is outrageous.  Yes, that child was only 23weeks in the womb of it’s mother…and yes, it may not have survived even had the clinic called for medical help or intervention for that baby…it was pre-mature…not by nature’s designs but by mankinds design.  However, it may have had a fighting chance if it had not been aborted or if it had been taken to a neo-natal unit.  Life is precious…dont abort.  That mother will relive those moments for the rest of her life.  The child didn’t get to have a rest of it’s life. 

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Death, Denial, Depression-Caylee Anthony’s Grandfather

      Another chapter to the sad story of 2 year old Caylee Anthony’s death.  Early this morning, Friday January 23, 2009, Caylee’s grandfather, George Anthony, was picked up at a Florida hotel after he disappeared and allegedly sent family members text messages saying that no longer wanted to live.  George also left a five page suicide letter apparently; I wonder if it will reveal information that could lead to the unraveling of the mystery of  Caylee’s death?  He was involuntarily was taken by police to a local hospital for evaluation. 

     All of this pressure has built up in the last year since young Caylee was reported missing and her body was, recently, discovered.  His daughter Casey was arrested for Caylee’s murder and both he and his wife has had to deal with Caylee’s death, family drama, invasive media, and his daughter’s arrest.  I am sure that the death, and his family’s initial feelings of denial of Caylee’s death, as well as the realization that she is gone has led to depression and a general overall feeling of being  filled with overwhelming stress.

       These issues are often overlooked by many when people watch the news…the truth is, that the long arm of the law has consequences for more than just the suspect in a case of murder  or criminal behavior.  There is much to deal with, for the friends and family members of the victims and the suspects who are involved.

     The emotional effects of just not being able to grieve properly for the loss of his grandchild is devastating.  First thing, no one knew for sure that Caylee was in fact dead.  She was missing and her mother Casey was telling conflicting stories.  George had to give information to the police at one time that many speculated was not all positive…that had to be a horrible experience for him.  There were search parties out looking for Caylee…this went on for months with little results.  Then there were alledged reported sightings of Caylee which turned out to be false.  In the meantime, the media was invading the Anthony’s personal space.  Conflict was a daily thing.

       George’s wife was giving interviews that alledgedly seemed to conflict with statements she made to the police and to her co-workers about a smell in Casey’s car…that smelled like a dead person.  That must have added to interpersonal problems in their family.  Their son, Casey’s brother, also was drawn into the fray with statements that he made that was reported in the media.  This is a family was that under a microscope.  Then came the confirmation recently that young Caylee’s body was found thrown away in a trash bag.

         The details of that are heartbreaking.  She was put inside of a laundry bag with a winnie the pooh blanket, with some pullups and with a knife…her little mouth was covered with duct tape that had residue from a heart shaped sticker put on the tape over her mouth; that tape was attached to her hair.  Her bones were scattered in the area where she was found.  This is a devastating thing to have to live with the knowledge that someone…maybe the child’s mother…could be capable of such depraved actions.  I am sure it was much more than most people could handle.

        The text messages that George allegedly sent to his family was an emergency cry for help from someone who is struggling to survive in a tidal wave of trauma.  I pray that he will get the help and the support that he needs to be well and whole. 

         Many people have made hurtful comments about the family members…we don’t know the facts of what actually happened.  Judging them and their actions without the full information is unwise.  Who in their situation could be faulted for handling things with imperfection…they have lost their granddaughter, their daughter is in jail for the alledged murder of their grandchild, they have had their lives turned upside down…including their home and privacy invaded…their children have been under the media spotlight…and they could possibly be charged with charges if they were, in any way, responsible for covering up evidence against their daughter.   That doesn’t even take into consideration yet…the nightmare that will be the trial that is coming soon. 

        This case has had many ups and downs.  It is still in the investigative phase and the court process has begun to build it’s case against Casey Anthony.  I truly hope that the grandparents are not involved in anything that could be considered a cover up by the authorities.  It is horrible enough to think about loosing their granddaughter and possibly their daughter to the legal system.  Let’s not forget that a child died…someone did in fact kill her, the truth needs to come out…and they will be dealing with that issue alone for the rest of their lives.  These are not issues that anyone gets over….overnight!

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Personal Private Pictures Stolen From Jamie Spears

        There is now a federal investigation into who allegedly stole personal, private pictures of Jamie Lynn Spears as she is breast feeding her young daughter.  A  man is suspected of stealing Jamie’s personal photos and trying to sell them.  A celebrity has a right to expect a certain level of privacy that every other person is afforded.  Photos such as these should never be purchased for publication, or for viewing by anyone outside of the bounds of a close personal relationship with the subject of the photo. 

         Even though the pictures are not pornographic…if they do indeed,show her breast as she feeds her infant…Jamie is not yet 18; so anyone who attempts to purchase, sell, or distribute those pictures is probably going to be prosecuted for selling or being in possession of pornographic materials involving a minor; when they are caught.

          Maybe the tide is turning in the world of buying and selling celebrity photos.  People are entitled to some kind of a personal life.  A young mother who is breastfeeding her infant should not have to worry that her photos are going to be sold to the highest bidder $$$ and published for the world to see.  This is a personal, private moment that should be respected.  What do you think celebrities should do to protect themselves from this kind of invasion of privacy?

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Real Life Situation-3 year old Home Alone

        A family from Israel made news over night by leaving their three year old at the airport.  Remember the old movie, Home Alone, where the parents are bustling around trying to catch an airplane with all of their children and belongings?  Well, this case seems to mimic the movie to a degree.

         The family was running behind trying to catch a plane to Paris for a vacation.  The parents and their five children were hustling, they made it…well, most of them anyway.   Eighteen pieces of luggage and four of the five children boarded with the parents; the fifth child was left behind without the parents realizing it.  She had to be full of fear.  A little over half of an hour into their flight they were informed by an airline employee that they left their three year old daughter at the Ben Gurion airport in Israel. 

         I can’t begin to imagine the terror of that.  Anytime i leave home for an extended period of time…i torture myself going over the thousands of things that i imagine that  have been forgotten!  Their daughter was found by a policeman; but, it was too late…the parents and siblings had left on the plane.

       The family reunited when an airline employee and the child took another plane to Paris.  No doubt that when they return the family members will be questioned about the incident…they could even face charges of neglect or abandonment. As long as it was an accident and not a purposeful child endangerment; hopefully, further trauma will be avoided by not pressing charges. Thank God the child is safe.  I would imagine that when they fly home they will have some sort of safety, buddy system procedure in place to prevent another terribly scary incident.

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Where’s The Family Honor In An Honor Killing?

      Once again the term an honor killing, has hit the news.  A  Pakistani father, Chaudhry Rashid living in Georgia, who had arranged a marriage for his 25 year old daughter Sandeela Kanwal, is being accused of killing her when she expressed that she no longer wished to be married to the man (who she had not seen in recent months as he lives in Chicago). 

      Sandeela Kanwal was unhappy with the arranged marriage and wished to divorce.  Her father allegedly strangled her to death out of a cultural sense of family honor that was in jeaparody in his mind.   He was so angry that he chose to end her life, rather than admit that a marriage he had helped to arrange was not working out well. 

       Did he put so little value in his daughter’s happiness that he put his own sense of embarassment, about the failure of the marriage, ahead of her life?  Obviously she respected her father’s wishes and married the man her father had picked out for her.  There must have been a compelling reason for her to wish to leave the marriage. What I want to know is…how is family honor preserved by killing one’s own daughter?  How is it more honorable to murder than it is to divorce; in any culture? 

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Neil Entwistle Is Guilty Of Murder

       Breaking news is being announced that Neil Entwistle from London has been found guilty of murdering his wife Rachel and 9 month infant daughter Lillian Rose back in 2006.  He will be sentenced on Thursday and could get life in prison…he showed little emotion when the verdict was announced.

          His case has made headlines since the murder was announced and he was found in England, where he fled after the murders.  This is an update to this previous post!   Neil has received two concurrent life sentences for the murders of his wife and child. https://writeasrain.wordpress.com/2008/06/24/blaming-the-victimwill-it-work/

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Heather Locklear Gets Help

       Heather Locklear has reached out for some professional help.  It seems that she has been struggling with depression and anxiety for a while now. She is in a treatment facility to get diagnosis for what ails her and to re-evaluate her medications.  Within the last couple of years Heather has been in the news regarding some of her relationships…those with some of her friends and her personal romantic relationships.  It would seem that she has had alot going on in her life to sort through. 

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Jessica Alba Has Honor

          Actress Jessica Alba has given birth to daughter Honor Marie Warren.  Jessica and Cash Warren were married in a courthouse ceremony quietly on May 19th.  Together they celebrated the birth of their daughter with joy on June 07, 2008.   Congratulations to the new family, Happy Birthday, Honor! 

           There is always a paparazzi rush trying to get the first photo shots…please don’t endanger anyone trying to get the first baby photos, photographers and media news outlets!!!

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Tragic Accident Befalls The Steven Curtis Chapman Family

          I read today that the family of Steven Curtis Chapman lost a daughter to a tragic accident yesterday.  The Chapman family’s youngest daughter 5 year old Maria was hit by a car driven by her brother.  It happened at their home in Nashville.  Worse still, it was witnessed by other family members.  What a horrible thing to see.  Maria’s brother needs alot of prayer.  It is a heavy burden to be in the position of being the driver who didn’t see the child.   May God bless this whole family during this time. 

           Their daughter Maria was adopted from China.  The Chapman’s have three children born to them and three others who they adopted.  I remember reading in an adoption magazine a few months ago, how the family felt called to adopt a child from China.  The family’s oldest daugther encouraged her parents to do so.  The Chapman’s committed to missionary work in China a couple of years ago.  I am sure with the recent tragedy that China has been going through has affected them greatly. 

           Steven Curtis Chapman is a gifted Christian singer.  He has been a huge force in ministering through music.  The family also has created a ministry foundation for those wishing to adopt called Shaohannah’s Hope; it helps the families to be able to afford to adopt.  I am sure the whole family’s heart is heavy.  For a child makes a huge impact on a family whether they are adopted or birthed into the family.  A child’s death leaves a huge empty spot.  Please pray for healing during their time of grief.  You can learn a bit more here:  http://www.stevencurtischapman.com/

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