She’s Dead and She Needed Him

        She is dead and she needed her daddy.  He wasn’t available because he was in prison for half of her life.  Jayci Yaeger was 10 years old and she had brain cancer.   She had had cancer since she was 3 years old according to news reports.

         Her father is in prison on a 5 year sentence for a drug conviction and he has a year left to go.   Who knows why he committed this crime?  None of us know the whole story.  What we do know, is that his daughter has been dying.  She wanted to see her dad one last time.

           While he has been in a facility that is a minimum security prison…he wanted to be moved 3 1/2 hours closer; so that he could see her.  The request has been repeatedly denied; although, they did allow several supervised visits. 

           Just two days ago…Jayci got her wish.  She got to spend 20 minutes with her father.  She is gone now; but it has been said that when he lifted her upon the table for a CT scan, she wrapped her arm around him.  This was a child so weak she couldn’t lift her arms.  Love is a powerful thing.

            I can’t imagine how horrible it would feel being seperated from your child who was dying and needed you desperately; when all along, it was because you did something illegal and had to serve time.   Paying his debt to society for his crime caused him to miss what would turn out to be the last 5 years of his daughters life. 

            He will never get those years back with his child.  But, it really isn’t him that i feel the sorriest for.  I feel the sorriest for his family…for Jayci and her mother who had to go through this trauma without much of his help.    Jayci obviously loved her father very much, as she improved when he was granted three or four brief, supervised visits once she had been declared terminal back in October.

           Just days before she died she was able to spend a little time with her father…after all, it wasn’t her fault they were seperated.

          

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First Born Birthrights Denied

        Wow, who knew that it mattered, when you were born, which side of the blanket you were born on when it comes to getting your birthright inheritence or whether your rights will be denied?

         Is a child’s birthright not automatic when that birthparent gives the child up for adoption?  No, it can be denied in the state of New York, anyway. 

          Today, i read in the news that a woman born over 50 years ago to a direct descendent of the jello fortune was denied by the highest court in New York the right to a portion of that said fortune. 

           It seems that the estate of the woman’s birthmother denied that she was entitled to a third of the estate; because, she had been put up for adoption and, because the laws of the state said that a child put up for adoption wasn’t considered a child of the person for whom the trust was established.

        The mother of the “child” went on to get married later after putting up the infant for adoption and went on to have two additional children who were entitled to their portion of the estate because they were born during her marriage.

         Does that seem fair?  The child did not have a say about when she was conceived or to whom she was born; she was born to the woman and allegedly, to a man who was married to someone else.  Is it her fault about the circumstances of her birth?  No.  Was it her choice to be adopted?  No.  Still, i guess legally…the decision has been made.

         My question is…morally is it a correct decision?  I wonder how the birth, half- siblings feel?  I mean, obviously the estate felt that they had a right to fight paying a portion of the trust fund to this woman; but, personally, if it were me….i would feel that she was entitled to a sum of money. 

         The woman started searching for her birthparents when she was 19.  She spent lots of money and time searching.  She didn’t start her search thinking that she was going to discover she was born to a family with incredible riches that she could inherit.  I am sure that she began searching strictly for the purpose of finding out more about herself personally. 

           Whatever her personal reasons for searching; I hope she found some kind of answers to her questions when she met her mother.  She did get to meet her and find out about her birth circumstances.  Hopefully she was able to heal those parts of herself that were filled with questions when she discovered she had a NEED to know about her beginnings. 

           It seems that these questions about the trust fund came up after the birth mother died.  Who knows what the birth mother’s feelings were on the subject.  That wasn’t reported in anything i have heard about this trust fund issue with the courts.  Was the woman and her siblings able to develop any type of postitive relationship?  If so, why the issue of money went before the court is curious. 

            If the half siblings contested sharing the money…i then wonder, what makes them in their own minds feel more entitled?  It is kind of sad.  Who knows how much richer their lives could have been otherwise.  I mean, i wonder if they would find joy in knowing their sister had there not been money involved?   Maybe it isn’t just an issue of money; could it be some other reason that they feel she is not entitled to a share of the wealth?   I wonder is the sister the kind of person that would not be welcome in a family whether they had money or not?  Is she a good, friendly, moral person?

             Some how, it feels like an injustice.  I mean, the half siblings got to grow up with their mother.  The woman did not.  They were born to a comfortable lifestyle; did the woman live in comfort?  Should she be compensated for being rejected at her birth?  I don’t know.  But regardless, it just feels a little unfair to me. 

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