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Posts Tagged ‘depression’

       Have you ever known someone who is in a totally disfunctional relationship and just seems destined to repeat patterns of negative and destructive behaviors?  I was thinking on this last night with a young teenaged couple that i know.  They spend all of their time together…fighting…hurting…crying…begging…breaking up…for-giving….manipulating…emotional arm wrestling…isolating…and starting all over again.  They are on the phone…or in person…tuning everyone else out..until they self-destruct.  Then, the explosion, they want everyone to feel their pain.  When counseled…all they can think about is “fixing it” and getting back together.  They get back together all right…but nothing ever gets fixed.  It is an emotional war that definately takes prisoners.

        Then today, someone else that i care about deeply…has decided to once again go up for a heaping dose of all you can eat at the salad bar of pain and abuse.  Taking a little taste of negativity, nibbling on a chunk of guilt large enough to choke a horse, a dip of put downs and innuendo, a spoonful of diced self esteem, add a sprinkling of despair, a serving sized dollop of loneliness, add a slice of isolation, a bowl of anger, and lets not forget a huge serving of accusation.  Hey, you’ve already paid the price…there is no limitation on how much you can have…it is there if you only want more.  (more…)

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      Once again the news has been covering a recent trend of crimes regarding an obsession with what lies within; another woman has been found dead after having her baby cut out of her womb.  This scenerio has been happening all too frequently over the last decade or so…women being killed for the babies that they carry inside of their wombs.  It leaves a terrible legacy of emotional difficulties for family and friends not to mention the child; if it miraculously survives the amateur delivery.

          In many of the cases, the women who do the killing have had an obsession with having a baby or being pregnant; often they have tricked those closest to them into believing they are pregnant and about to deliver.  Then, after they have stolen an infant, they try to pass it off as their own birth child.  (more…)

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        I heard a recent news story about a woman in Germany who chose to commit suicide over moving to a nursing home.   Did she not have loved ones to live with; or some other option?   She consulted with a knowledgable person about what drugs/chemicals to mix together to kill herself because she said she had no wish to struggle with a mediocre life.  She was not going to live the rest of her life, living what she considered to be a less than ideal lifestyle for the rest of her life; how sad is that?  Some families park their elders in a home and neglect to visit them; maybe she was afraid of being abandoned in this way. (more…)

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      There are people who wish to die everywhere around the world…they each have their reasons…some actually make it happen.  Those people are often desperate, sick, experiencing financial, emotional or physical difficulties which can cloud, or influence their decision to take their own life.  My concern is, that in those moments of desperation or depression, having the stamp of approval from people approved by the state legitimizing the option of suicide will only reinforce their hopelessness.

     The state of Washington is trying to get 225,000 valid voter’s signatures before July 3rd so that they can get an initiative on the November ballot called Death with Dignity.  If they can accomplish this goal…in November, voters will have the chance to create a new law condoning suicide in certain circumstances.

        If a person has been diagnosed as having a fatal disease; and has less than 6 months to live, and two seperate doctors are in agreement about that diagnosis; the patient will then have the option of submitting a request to receive a perscription for a medicine combination that will cause their death.  When making their verbal request to receive that medication, they must request it twice, 15 days apart; they must also submit a written request, witnessed by two other people who are not their doctor, family or friends who will not benefit, legally or financially, from the death of that person making the request.  It all seems so logical and thought out; however, it doesn’t take into account the possibly opposing wishes or moral convictions of the patient’s loved ones.   What about religious beliefs…suicide goes against the grain of most religious beliefs…and family members who are left behind struggle with their feelings and emotions at the complex blend of rejection,fear,anger and loss..not to mention guilt about being unable to prevent the suicide.  At the end of that person’s life…offering the option of suicide can cause great distress, at a time when support is what is needed most!  I think great harm can come from this with regards to having emotional conflicts between the patient and the people closest to them.  What do you think about this issue?

       Washington state is and will always be my second adopted home state.  I have many loved ones there; I would hate to think that anyone i loved could choose to leave the world in this way.  Every life has value…and is precious…every day is a gift of time with each other.  http://www.save.org/ or http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ or http://www.afsp.org/

       

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        You know what…i don’t know much about foreclosures on a home; but, my family came closer to it than i want to think about this past winter.  I know that foreclosure is happening to more and more people.  I live in a state where the economy is all but paralyzed.  People are loosing their jobs, left and right.  The cost of living is skyrocketing.  I know people who are working two jobs and still are struggling to survive.   I also know people who have gone to donate blood and plasma just so that they had gas money to drive back and forth to work.  This puts the quality of life into the depression era, as far as I am concerned.  Foreclosure can happen to anyone because, right now, the economy stinks.

         This past week, we have heard about a couple of high profile people, Evander Holyfield and Ed McMahon, who are possibly loosing their homes to foreclosure.  One of them, Ed McMahon seems an unlikely candidate to loose his home to foreclosure…however, Ed explains his situation.  He says that he wasn’t paying attention to how his money was managed by business people.  He also says some personal difficulties such as divorce and a broken neck decreased his finances and his ability to work.  He says that he worked hard all of his life.  Alot of people are in the same situation…maybe they can’t even retire or pay for their child’s college because of their financial situation and the possible loss of their home.

           Ed McMahon talks about the million, or so, people in the United States that are now facing foreclosure and says that he understands how people are working hard and due to their personal circumstances they could lose their homes.  Many of them, Ed says, didn’t do anything wrong…maybe they lost their jobs or face medical, financial difficulties…but because of those situations…they are being forced out of their homes that they worked so hard to have.  He says he would like to tell them to find the best help available and to not give up. 

         Those explanations are real life for alot of people.  It has been recently estimated that 1percent of home mortgages have gone into foreclosure from January- March of this year alone; that is around 447,723 families.  Divorce, job downsizing, health issues and the economy are putting more and more people in jeparody of loosing their homes.  For most people, their home is one of their biggest assests or investments.  How does this concern you?   Let’s take a look… 

          The problem is…as the economy worsens…more people loose their homes and that means that more homes are on the market.  Say you want to sell your home…how are you going to do that with all of the houses sitting empty on your street, in your neighborhood, or your town or state?  And if you are lucky enough to find someone who wants YOUR house….will they give you what you have to have financially for it?   Housing that is devalued further complicates the issue.  Propety values plummet in areas where there are many foreclosures.   When people owe more on their house then it is worth, because of the devaluing of it…they can’t sell it without taking a huge financial loss; not to mention coming up with the money to move somewhere else.  The stress and the emotional toll it takes is devastating.  It is a bit like a chain reaction…because then their credit is damaged…and finding another place to live is difficult, relationships take a beating in times of financial crisis too.  Other people can be quite judgmental and often people feel ashamed of what they are going through.  The changes that a family has to go through in a foreclosure has a far reaching impact on schools, jobs, relationships, health and emotional well-being.  I heard a random number tossed about in a news report of between 7-8,000 people enter into foreclosure procedures a DAY!  Those numbers are staggering…and devastating to our economy.

         There are those who say…well, those people shouldn’t have tried to live outside of their means.  That may be true in some circumstances; but, many of those in foreclosure had good paying jobs when they bought that home in good faith, they may have been in perfect health when they bought their home, the economy might have been healthier at the time of the home purchase.  Life is full of changes; foreclosure can happen to anyone!

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        For those of you who have been depressed, despondent, abused, neglected, suicidal, victimized or just oppressed; know this, the human spirit is subject to change at any moment…it is resilient.  The absolutely amazing thing about going through any of those difficulties in life, is that it has the potential of either destroying a person, or strengthening them, like steel that has gone through the heat of a fire. 

          What causes a person to either become submerged under the weight of negative influences; or, to spring up and bounce back even stronger ? 

           I believe it is a combination of things.  We are all products of our past; we have been taught many things throughout our childhoods and young adulthood that influences how we perceive things.  Most of those things are unconscious and basically invisible, but, still they are there; determining how we interpet the challenges in life; and, therefore, how we handle those same challenges.  We have to make a personal committment to ourselves to change the direction our lives are going if we wish to live a life that is full of the good things life has to offer.

          If we have been lucky enough to have a strong healthy foundation during those formative years we have a huge headstart.  If we were instead rooted in poor soil and unhealthy relationships during those years; we often have alot to overcome. 

          It is not impossible to overcome those things.  It is by strength of will and determination that we learn how to channel our inner self to go in the direction of love, health, and personal well-being.  It is a matter of retraining how we think about things and learning not to focus on the obstacles and the negativity that surrounds us on a daily basis.

          I was reminded of these things today, when i read about Elizabeth Fritzl, the young Austrian woman held captive by her father in a basement for 24 years.  She was forced to endure loneliness, sexual abuse, emotional damage and physical confinement.  She was raped repeatedly by her father and gave birth to seven children during this time.  They grew up without “normal” human interaction. 

        At this point they are receiving treatment in a  psychiatric facility.  The family is getting help learning how to bond together; how to communicate with others, how to function outside of their basement prison.  Elizabeth, the mother of the children grew up at home, with her mother and father…until she was 18 years old.  At that point, he forced her to live in the basement while explaining her “disappearance” to the rest of the world by saying that she had run off to join a cult.

          Elizabeth and her children are bouncing back in amazing ways.  One would think that they might never recover.  After all, some of them didn’t speak as we know speaking; they communicated with grunts and noises.  However, they survived against all odds.  Their healing and renewal will happen with good guidance and therapy.  It should be encouraging to us all that the human spirit is resilient; it is meant to sustain us in times of devastation.

            At some point in life we have to “choose” to overcome the negative forces that have gone before and “decide” to grow, heal, strengthen; and, claim victory over the things in life that hold us back from who we were created to be.   It is work, it isn’t easy and often professional help is necessary; but, it is so worth it to have the freedom to once again live life fearlessly, and fully, with joy!

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       Wednesday night i heard news that filled me with supreme sadness.  A young lady in one of our local schools committed suicide.  I have mentioned in the blog lately that there appears to be a huge cloud of depression in several of our local high schools. (more…)

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       I dont know about every state….but here in michigan, a special needs student that graduates high school and gets a diploma cannot continue to receive educational services. 

       If that same student, instead, chooses to get a certificate of completion; they are entitled to educational services through the schools until they reach the age of 26.  This may include teaching them daily living skills, a job coach among other services. 

         Unfortunately, in years past, families were not appropriately informed that they had a choice.  Consequently, many families are in the position of not being able to access additional services for their student.  This is unfair.

      Now, i suppose if you are living in a metropolitan area where there are more organizations, and more agencies geared towards the idea of improving the lives of special needs adults, you just might do ok.  (more…)

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     Skillet (Christian rock band) has an awesome song called “Last Night” from their album called Comatose.  It is a song of hope for someone who is in despair.  It starts talking about a teen who has scars on their wrists…and God says…it is your last night away from me!!!

      My husband and I work with teens in our church.  This song is desperately needed in today’s world.  Our youth are hurting.  They mutilate themselves, starve themselves, they dabble with drugs, alcohol, and sex.  

     Self destruction is all around them…it is ” normal”.  Their families are hurting…their friends are hurting….God is there for all.   It doesn’t matter your age.  He is just waiting to hold you and comfort you and offer something more than pain, depression, and humiliation. (more…)

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