Grammy No Show-Chris Brown and Rihanna: Domestic Violence Charges

      Both Chris Brown and his girlfriend, Rihanna, were scheduled to be performers on the Grammy Awards show last night.  They did not show up.  Today, word comes out in news reports that Chris Brown is being accused of a domestic violence assault,  of an undeclared female who allegedly Id’ed him as the abuser; this is a felony, if convicted.

        It is alledged that Chris Brown and his girlfriend Rihanna were driving and got into an argument and stopped the vehicle.  Allegedly both exited the vehicle and continued the argument.  The argument became heated and someone placed an emergency call to 911.  When the police arrived they found the victim at the scene of the altercation.  Chris Brown had allegedly left the area.  The victim had visible injuries.

         Chris Brown has been booked for making criminal threats and it is alledged that there could be more charges filed in the future.  He posted a large amount of bail and was released.  The spokesperson for Rihanna did not confirm or deny reports…supposedly just expressed Rihanna’s well being, and thanked everyone for their concern.

          I remember for quite some time at the beginning of their relationship, it was kept hush- hush about the rumors of their romance.  Chris is only 19 years old and Rihanna is 20; if this domestic assault did indeed happen between these two, it is going to have long reaching consequences.  Domestic violence is a huge problem; it affects everyone, whether personally or through someone that they know.  It’s an issue that destroys many lives. 

         It doesn’t help that as public figures, both Chris and Rihanna, are viewed as role models.  Because of their fans, many will be watching this situation closely.   Of course there is concern for both party’s well-being; at the same time, how they handle this situation personally and professionlly, will be important. 

         Domestic violence can never be condoned.  Often times, drugs or alcohol play a part, as well as stress, anger issues, and financial strains.  Those are underlying causes for many instances of domestic violence; but, they should never be a justification for harming another person. 

         If this alledged assualt is swept under the rug by the PR machine, it will do a grave disservice to both men and women.   Teens and young adults, who are aware of this situation, will be learning from it.  What they learn will be determined by how it is handled by both Chris Brown and the victim…whoever she is.  The seriousness of it should not be spun by those trying to minimize the professional damage to the entertainers…it is more important to address the issues for both of them; they are so young and they have their whole lives ahead of them.  It would be wrong to allow this alledged incident to be downgraded to a misunderstanding if there truly was domestic violence.  None of us were there and know what really happened…hopefully, there will be healing for everyone involved.

         There are so many layers of emotions involved for family members, friends and the general public as well as those involved in a domestic dispute.  Counseling is helpful, support of family and friends who are informed and not enablers is crucial.  Getting professional help when dealing with these issues is a healthy way to work through them and prevent them from becoming a pattern in personal relationships; it may just save someone’s life.

          Often domestic violence is about power and control.  Those two issues are present in every relationship; how those issues are addressed is important they can be handled in a healthy way or they can be ignored allowing a dangerous situation to get out of control.    Domestic violence is being  abused,  used, overwhelmed,  intimidated, coerced, controlled or humiliated; that is when the balance of the relationship crosses over into dysfunction.   For anyone experiencing an abusive or dyfunctional relationship there is help available:  http://www.ndvh.org/ .  Please reach out for help, because often these thing get worse as time goes on.  No one wants to be in that situation…please get help before it is too late.

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Yes, Britney Is Talented…But…

        Yes, Britney Spears is talented…but, after the roller coaster year she has had and the struggle to pull her life together…i guess I expected a bit more of her.  She is beautiful, she is talented and she has the drive to become anything she wants to be.  That is why i was disappointed by her appearance on Good Morning America this morning for her 27th birthday celebration.  I know that all of this media attention is merely publicity for her upcoming tour and album release; but, I was hoping for something a little more.  After all, she has revamped her body, her legal standing, and she has regained some control of her well-being over the troubling last year.

        She is twenty seven years old…and she “recreated” her past image.  I really thought that she would re-invent her image by pulling it together instead of trying to hyper-sex her image.  Who of us wouldn’t have responded positively to a more grown up version of the Britney Spears entertainer?   Come on…for heaven’s sake…she has the pipes; she doesn’t need to strip down to expose herself by wearing outfits that leave little to the imagination.  (For the record, i have the same problem with other talented people like Beyonce who recently introduced her audience to her alter ego, Sasha Fierce).  There are audiences who will eat this stuff up; but do they care about the entertainer as a person outside of what is given them on the stage?  The performer doesn’t have to live with the audience; they only have to live with themselves when they leave the spotlight.   Is the public adulation enough for you?  Does the fame help you to live a fuller, happier life when not performing?

        It’s bad enough that the music/television business pushes the hyper-sexed robots that sell shows/concerts to the public…but, why in the world do the celebrities exploit their own images?  They already have the industry contacts, they have the skill set, they have supportive fans…why do they feel the need to sell their images this way?

        I really take issue with Britney’s performance on Good Morning America; as her very young sons and mother were in the audience.  Is this necessary to expose your young children to the visual of their mother strutting around on stage in the barest essentials, singing about things like serial womanizing? 

         Where is the inside soul of Britney?  Is she gone?  Sometimes when you look at her eyes in photographs …you see such emptiness, vulnerability and sadness.  Does she think that this version of her talent is ALL that she has to offer us?   I can’t help but think back to the young girl who was beginning her career; the girl who had such a genuine look in her eyes and talked about positive traditional values…she has been missing for a long time.  Britney genuinely seemed more like a happier person at that time, more then she does today.  Today she has children, she has more material things, she has more money and fame than she did back then.  So what’s missing? 

        I figured when Britney exploded back into the public eye, professionally, we would see a more mature version of her; one that combined who Britney was before she turned into such a hot commodity; and, the person who battled her way through the fire this past year.  I know she has it in her to be using her talent in a way that is in alignment with her formerly acknowledged Christian values.  Maybe Britney needs reminded that she is a young woman, a mother, a daughter, a sister and an aunt…someone who has a responsibility to represent herself as a positive influence to those around her.

          Remember Britney when you talked about keeping yourself pure?  Obviously you have had children and adult relationships…but, in that maturing process it appears as if anything goes in public now.  How do you want your children to conduct themselves in the next 7-10 years?   Are we going to see your children performing as Chippendale-like dancers before an audience of screaming female fans; stripping down to G strings, when they are in their teens?  Will you be ok with that?  Because that is the example you are putting before the eyes of our young sisters-brothers, and sons-daughters. 

         And Britney, you are making it appear irresistible…you are rich, you are famous, you are beautiful and, you have the career that many would be thrilled to have.   If only you would channel your career into something that is more acceptable in the way of traditional family values; in a world that is craving positive, musical role models.  I don’t think that you realize the impact that you have on your young fans. 

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Dancing With The Stars-Fab Four

      So tonight on dancing with the stars…it is the fab four.  Four teams of dancers who have gotten to the top of their game by working hard.  What four dancers are left in the competition? 

        Lance Bass and his professional pro-dancer Lacey Schwimmer have made great gains in the last couple of weeks.  Then there is Cody Linley and his pro-partner Julianne Hough.  Warren Sapp and Kym Johnson are in the final four as well as Brooke Burke and Dereck Hough.  Each team has learned how to bring out the best in each other…the teamwork has evolved into some wonderful relationships.

         As the competition heats up…who will end up in the finals will be determined by tonight’s outcome.  I predict the couple to leave tonight will be Cody Linley and Julianne Hough.  Cody has improved alot since he began on the show…however he was sidelined a couple of weeks back when Julianne had to have her appendix removed.  He soldiered on with Edyta as his partner and did alright but he never regained his focus that he was beginning to establish when he was dancing with Julianne.

          Tonight’s results on the show could surprise me …but i believe that the other dancers either have been more consistent in their dancing or have a stronger fan base.  We will see.    Who do you think is leaving…and, who do you think will be the final winner this season?

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American Idol Judge Idolized

      A really difficult part of celebrity is being put on a pedestal by some fans.  Sometimes that turns into stalking or worse…sometimes attacks.  Celebrity can cause many people to feel as if they know the celebrity because of so much access to information about the celebrities by tabloid newspapers and interviews.  It is difficult for some fans to distinguish between reality and fantasy.  Fans often feel a connection to the person that they see and hear so much about in the media. 

       Today a very sad story has been reported about a young 30 year old woman being found dead near a home owned by American Idol judge, Paula Abdul.  The young woman’s name was Paula Goodspeed and she was a former auditioner for season 5 of American Idol.

        It appears that the woman was a huge fan of Paula Abduls.   It seems that Ms. Goodspeed’s family was concerned about her safety and well-being; as they had not seen her since Monday evening.  It appears that there was concern about alleged past suicide attempts.  At this point, the authorities believe that this was an apparent suicide.  Our sympathies go out to Ms. Goodspeeds family and friends.

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More Peace…Less Love…Ringo Starr

     While speaking peace and love, peace and love…Ringo Starr recorded a video, that was on CNN, demanding that no more fan letters be sent to him.  He says after October 20th…they will be thrown out.  He also says, no more sending things in, to be signed or autographed. 

       For a man who made a career out of the love of his fans…and their dedication to him and his band mates…you probably wonder what would prompt him to declare such a statement.  He says…he has too much to do!

       Myself…i would have to say…a person needs to consider what it must be like to live in a fishbowl your whole life.  Could be that maybe, just maybe Ringo has figured out that many of those “fans” who clamor for an autograph are just turning around and selling those same autographed items to ebay or to some collector so that they can earn a pretty penny!

         Another thing to think about is that Ringo Starr, born Richard Starkey, is 68 years old.  He says that he has too much to do…but, in the back of his mind you also have to wonder if he is looking back saying…I am 68 years old; most of my life is behind me.  I have given so much to my fans…maybe it is time to do what I want; with, what time i have left. 

        That isn’t too far fetched; as two of his band mates are already deceased.  There is only Ringo and Paul McCartney left alive of the Beatles.

        Also this week in the news, there was an article that i read somewhere that claimed that fan stalkers are the most dangerous of the mentally ill.  Consider this, both John Lennon and George Harrison were attacked by stalkers.  John was fatally shot and killed.  George Harrison was stabbed, but lived after the attack.

        While listening to the video that Ringo recorded regarding fan mail…i was put off by the tone of the video; it comes across as  hostile…but, once i stopped and thought about these other issues…it made more sense to me.  So…Peace and Love as Ringo says!  www.ringostarr.com

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Love Babies? Give A Fan For A Shower Gift

       Every year in the United States approximately 2,500 babies die of SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome).  Even though those numbers have come down substantially over the years…even one death a year from SIDS is one infant death too many.  So, research on ways of preventing those deaths is very important.

       A new study is suggesting that having a fan, in the room of an infant, can greatly reduce the possibility of death by SIDS by up to 72% according to the Archives of Pediatric & Adolescent Medicine.  Check it out here: http://archpedi.ama-assn.org/   Invited to a baby shower?  Show your love and concern by gifting the new parents with a fan and a printout of the reasons of the importance of the gift regarding the health of their baby!  Educate parents, first time parents or teenaged parents, grandparents of the new research; empower them with the newest safety information. 

        While the understanding of the role of the fan, in the prevention of deaths of infants from SIDS, is not clearly understood…it was found that rooms that were heated to above 69 degrees benefitted by the use of a fan in the prevention of death from SIDS.  It is thought that overly warm temperatures increase the potential of death by SIDS. 

         Another possible benefit of using a fan in the infant’s room is that the fan helps to circulate the air flow around the baby.  Babies who are put to sleep on their backs do better as well, because babies who sleep on their stomachs have less airflow in the early months of life; when their necks are too weak to lift their heads if the airflow is not sufficient for healthy breathing.  There has been a big campaign to educate parents to use the BACK TO SLEEP plan for this reason.  Babies who sleep on their stomachs also have a larger incidence of rebreathing in carbon dioxide that they have exhaled.  A fan can help to circulate the air around babies.  Still, putting an infant to sleep on their back is a better solution to keeping the airflow open around baby.  Important:  Just remember that when using a fan…keep the cords away from small hands that could pull the fan down and cause injury. 

         What else can a parent do to keep their newborn infants safe from SIDS?  First of all, putting a baby to sleep on their backs in a crib with a firm mattress is an important part of the equasion.    The crib must have the side rail bars or slats spaced 2 3/8 inches apart or less; so that a baby does not get trapped between the bars.   Next, comes the idea of dressing the baby with adequate clothing to keep the baby warm; but, not so many articles of clothing as to overheat the baby.  Keep the crib free from toys, from blankets or pillows or even bumper pads that cannot be firmly attached to the side of the crib.  It is important to keep all items away from an infant that doesn’t have the ability to turn it’s head or to push away from anything that can block it’s airflow.

          Never lay an infant to sleep on an adult bed or extremely soft or conforming surface.  Cuddle time is important…but, doing so in an adult bed could allow the adult to fall asleep.  It is not worth the risk of falling asleep with your infant beside you, when you are not awake enough to keep watch over your young infant.  No one wants to live with regrets on a tragedy that could be avoided by remembering that safety comes first regarding your baby.

          If you are leaving your child in the care of a grandparent or a caregiver…it is wise to include this new information on the best way to keep your baby safe.  Take the small fan with you when you are entrusting others to care for your small child.  Make sure that they follow your direction in the way that you wish your child to be cared for.  It may be different than they have previously cared for other young babies…but, it is never too late to learn.  If they wish to care for your child…express the need for them to follow this guideline of using the fan and not bundling your child up with unneccessary blankets and clothing.

           Many years ago, i knew a young family that lost an infant daughter to SIDS.  It was a horrendous event in their family life.   In fact, their marriage didn’t survive more than another couple of years after the death of their child.   I can’t help but wonder, if this information was available then…would their child have lived?  How many babies can be saved with this new information?

          Here is a great site that can offer more tips on infant safety for parents of young infants regarding SIDS prevention:  http://sids.org/nprevent.htm  Did you learn anything new in this blog post that you felt was beneficial to you; or, someone that you know who has a young infant?

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The Gucch Has Got It-Dancing With The Stars!

         Last night’s competition on dancing with the stars was outstanding.  The group dance that began the show was awesome to see.  The teamwork and genuine joy of working together for these three competitor teams was obvious to see.  They like each other…they really like each other.  When the individual dances began, Kristi and her partner Mark set a standard that looked impossible to beat.  I think to myself as i watched it….the Gucch has got it!  The showman in her just can’t help but ooze through her pores.  But, she competes with style not with a mean bone in her body.

       Then Jason and Edyta started their dance and it was fireworks from the beginning.  Boom, there they were…somehow though, i don’t know how it happened…they both seemed to have costume malfunctions…they each “lost” pieces of clothing!  LOL The song was hot and so was the dance. 

          Then, right before Christian and Cheryl began their dance; Samantha was awkwardly interviewing Jason.  She made references to the media buzz surrounding Christian and Jason’s newfound friendship.  Jason with a wry grin said, that was last week!  🙂  His sense of humor comes through.  I loved seeing him with his children.

          Christian and Cheryl’s dance was good.  After all, he was not capable of doing the high flying of Kristi and Marks dance, he wasn’t able to lift his partner Cheryl in competitive lifts the way Jason was able to smoothly lift Edyta, but what he did have was Latin blood pumping through his veins and it brought a salsa side dish to the dance.  His surgery is scheduled for Friday.  His dance was good.   I am just afraid with the injury….Kristi’s dance was more advanced; advanced to the point of winning the trophy.

         Of course, it all comes down to the wire with the votes of the fans.  That could, as always, change everything!  This year’s finale was great.  No disappointments here, no matter who you support!

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