An Awakening To Domestic Abuse

      This subject is never a pleasant one.  No one likes to acknowledge domestic abuse is a way of life…especially if it is happening within their own life.  Unfortunately, domestic abuse happens every day in a multitude of ways.  It doesn’t just happen in the lives of the poor, the rich, or the celebrity world; even though, that is often the stories that we hear about…those who are famous.  We must awaken to the facts of domestic abuse; it is often learned behaviors that are used to control another person…either with intimidation, physical violence, emotional abuse or sexual abuse.

       Domestic abuse is like cancer…it is constantly trying to destroy the people involved.  It is a pattern of behavior that affect both the abuser and the person being abused.  Many who are being abused do not recognize that what is happening in their lives is actually domestic abuse.  The reasons for their lack of understanding, or denial are many. 

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Spring Fling Tease in February

       For a person who spent most of this winter freezing tushie…I can’t be sad that our weather has taken a turn for the better (and warmer); however, for my grandchildren who are coming to visit from a much warmer state, I am sad.  They have been hearing about the record snowfall this year here and have been looking forward to playing in the snow.  Last night it rained all night long…surprising us with such a meltdown of snow…that, I personally can’t believe I didn’t wake up in another land, like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz.   A Spring fling has decided to tease us this February…we didn’t even get our traditional January thaw like usual.

         The temperatures have gone from single digits to the 50 degree mark in less than a week.  All this next week, it will be warmer than normal.  This does not bode well for getting some recovery snow to at least blanket the ground with a soft white appearance for the grandchildren.  The fates are against them seeing the kind of snow of a kids dreams. 

         On the other hand, as a person who pays, and pays dearly, to warm up a big old farm house during these wintry days…I can’t be truly sad about the snow loss.  🙂  I have a secret desire to feel a tropical heatwave…shhhhhh….don’t tell my grandbabies!!!!

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She Might Have Just Saved Her Own Life-Drew Peterson’s Fiancee Moves Out!

     Christina Raines is the young woman who had recently moved in with her fiance, Drew Peterson.  Drew Peterson, if you will remember, is the former police officer who has been a suspect in the disappearance of his fourth wife and also was under suspicion in the death of his third wife.   Drew did an interview, with Martin Bashir of ABC’s news program Nightline, that aired on Thursday night.  Drew and Christina viewed the interview together, at which point…she allegedly called him a liar, broke up with him and moved out. 

     Everyone has been concerned for her safety and that of the well-being of her children, that moved in with her and Drew.  By moving out…she may have very well saved her life and her sanity from living in a fishbowl.  To listen to Drew tell it; he is addicted to new romances…what kind of a relationship can survive that, long term?  No woman wants to think she is just a number standing in line; to enjoy her turn at the romance department…only to be replaced by someone younger and more exciting; if real life gets in the way of the newness of their romance.

       I saw part of that interview, Drew comes across as trying to be very charismatic and at the same time…condescending.  He appears to like the attention of the public and he appears to like the fact that people fear/and are fascinated by him.   He made comments alluding to the fact that “young women are drawn” to him.  They seek him out he said and, even sometimes flirt with him or sit on his lap.  He tells the interviewer that he likes the attention of the young women…he likes falling in love.  Drew also said that when his relationships start to lose their excitement…that is when he is drawn to other women.  His relationships/marriages have failed in the past because of this.

       Christina’s father, Ernie Raines has been trying to enlist the help of the local police department, trying to make sure that his daughter and grandchildren are ok.  He made no secret of the fact that he does not trust Drew Peterson.  I think that many people can understand and support those feelings.  Ernie helped Christina move out…Drew did not want to let him in the house and Ernie had to once again call the police.  Good job Ernie for being persistant; if you feel your children are in danger…you do what you have to-to protect them.

     You have to wonder about the emotional well-being of Drew’s younger children that he had with Staci…his wife that is missing.  How must it be for them to be growing up in a home that is constantly watched and a place that must be under alot of stress because of that suspicion.  Not to mention…those children have been deprived of their mother…for whatever reason she is missing…they have suffered a great loss.

        In watching the interview, I felt repulsed listening to him go on and on about how much he enjoys the attentions of the young women that he meets and has met in the past (in bars).  It comes across to me as a young, immature male teen bragging on his conquests.  It all appears as a game…one that matches his wit and his ability to con those around him.  He was an undercover police officer for a 5 year period and  he allegedly made statements, in the past, about how he loved to see the faces of the people who were arrested once they found out that he was a police officer who conned them with his disquises.  The interview felt to me, like it was just another con job that floated his boat…one that tested his ability to still fool those that he wishes, with whatever story he chooses to tell.

        I say to Ernie Raines…enjoy your relationship with your daughter…spend time listening to her.  I hope that she is able to heal her heart and realize just how much better off she is away from the media circus that she was living in with her relationship with Drew Peterson.   At the same time, she might want to spend a little time in counseling trying to discover what it was about that relationship that made her feel like she was making a good decision for her future and that of her children.  Best of luck!  Women…where there is smoke there is fire…you can’t change a person that you are attracted to…you cant “fix” their problems…you can’t be all things to one person…and you can’t live with the shadow of missing wives, alleged murders, infidelities, and controlling behaviors; and live happily ever-after!

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Derranged Daddy Destroys

       By now, most of you have probably heard about the derranged daddy who destroyed the lives of at least 8 people.  They lived in Austria.  He locked his 18 year old daughter in his specially designed, tiny basement for 24 years.  He abused her;  impregnating her 7 times.  One of the babies died soon after birth; and, the father allegedly put the baby into the furnace.  What a psychological nightmare…something out of an almost unbelievable book of fiction; that noone wants to read.

        Over the years, he had the daughter write a letter saying she could not care for her 3 of her children…after she “disappeared”.  The mother raised three of the children.  How could she do this and not push for some answers?  Did she push for answers?  Or was she just as abused in her own way by this man?   Three more of the children were locked in this basement along side of their mother.  This is the only world they have ever known.  The trauma,fear and pain they must all be in seems almost too much to bear.

       Many people are saying…did the mother know> how could she NOT know?>why would she not push to know more>   There is so much that we do not understand at this time; i am afraid there will be even more horrors to come out in time.  For instance, who helped him build this basement with secretive rooms?  Why didn’t authorities search his home when the daughter went missing?  How did food and water…and other basic necessities keep them alive without SOMEONE KNOWING?  And if someone did know…how could they not do something to end this world of pain and suffering?  There are more questions than answers at this point in time.

       The father admits this horror is true.  His daughter and her three children, that were confined, are getting help; but it may take a lifetime.  But truly, is any amount of help ever going to allow these poor people to live a normal life?   They certainly deserve to live in peace and safety. 

        What about the three children who lived “upstairs” with their grandmother and for lack of a better term GRANDFATHER?  Were they abused?  How will they process the fact that they lived right above their mother and siblings?  How will they deal with the knowledge that their mother and siblings lived like caged animals while they did not?  There is going to be long term mental health treatment for all of these people. 

        They have never had education, normal human interaction, health care, or freedom.  It must be a bit like flying into space and finding an alien environment and being forced to land there and function. 

         And let’s talk about the father…how does someone become such a detached person to cause such damage to those you are “wired” to love and protect in a normal way?  What a contemptible situation for human beings to be in. 

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Over the River and Through the woods

       I am excited because the grandchildren are coming today.  It is Christmas Eve; and that is when our family celebrates Christmas.  My granddaughter is two and a half.  She is at a fun age for Christmas fun.  My grandson is 16 months. (Gotta charge up the cameras:)) It will be fun to watch him open his presents also.

      The best part is just having family time.  But, aha…so much to do before they get here.  Mother nature dumped a blizzard on us last night and so…the (long) driveway must be shoveled and the deck and the sidewalk.  I have more baking to do.  But the joy of the evening is ahead.

      My younger children (i have 3 adult children as well) are 8, 15, 16 are excited as well.  It will be a lean Christmas here though.  But, that doesn’t matter.  We are together.  We are healthy.  So, we are blessed and thankful.  Happy Birthday Jesus! 

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Safe Travel for holidays

        My children arrived safely from Atlanta for the Thanksgiving holiday.  They are going to be here several days to enjoy each other before everyone arrives for Thanksgiving dinner.  This is good.

         My son said…he almost didn’t get to come as (he owns his own business) he had alot of business to do during this week.  I am thankful for the high speed internet that allowed him to come and work out of my husband’s office here at home.  Otherwise it would have been another holiday without my son, daughter-in-law and grandson and granddaughter.  That just would not be a good thing.  We were supposed to go there for the holiday but finances just didn’t permit it, unfortunately .

         We can never get together as often as a Grandma would like.  The grandchildren have a bad habit of growing up in between visits :)! 

          Here is wishing safe travel for everyone during the holidays so that more good memories can be made.  The only downside is the crazy sicknesses that are going around.  Baby girl arrived with a bad cold and cough…kind of like the virus that keeps on giving…the one that my family here has been battling for the last couple of weeks!  Here is hoping that she is feeling better soon.  Happy Thanksgiving!

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Obedience….what for?

       I don’t know about you, but i have a hard time obeying someone just for the sake of obeying.  I have to be able to think a thing through and find the reason for something.  I don’t like to blindly obey; that requires alot of trust.

      As you can imagine…as a child…that was not the best approach.  🙂  My mother always told me…i had to learn things the HARD WAY.  Too funny…she was absolutely right.  I do, sometimes, have to learn the hard way for it to sink in.

      As a parent; i know the value of obeying.  When my children were little, it terrified me crossing streets and things like that as my children are somewhat hardheaded.   Obeying me was in their best interest; I knew that…but they did not understand it that way.

        (My mother, at great times of stress, wished for me…”TEN CHILDREN JUST LIKE YOU!”  hahah   She probably regrets saying that now….as she has  many grandchildren  just like me). 

      Amazing since they aren’t biological…i just think it is because God has a wonderful sense of humor. 🙂

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