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Posts Tagged ‘happiness’

Mother’s Day is one of those holidays that is bittersweet for many people.  All women aren’t mothers. Some individuals don’t have mothers that they remember fondly or as a mother that deserves kudos for the life she has lived. Their are birth mothers, foster mothers, adoptive mothers and mother like figures.  Some of those mothers are great mothers and natural at nurturing and some mothers have issues like addictions, or emotional problems…

That being said…even those mother’s have something for which to be remembered and that is for bringing their children into the world.  At the most basic level…giving life is something to honor; since not every woman who discovers she is pregnant makes the choice to give birth to her child.  If you had a mother who only functioned at a bare minimum, then I hope you had another woman who filled a mother- like role in your life, encouraging, teaching, praising and loving you; someone to step in and protect you.  Acknowledge that person on mother’s day and don’t let the negative emotions in regards to whether a birth mother was mother of the year or not; choose to celebrate love.

I’ve been blessed and I want to take a moment to celebrate love.  A few years ago, we were told that my mother had an enlarged heart.  This was traumatic as my mother was/is one of those women who loved and encouraged her children as we grew up.  She continues to do this.  Now her medical condition has been treated with medication and close monitoring; we are grateful for that.  However, it got me to thinking about mothers who love deeply.

I thought about the changes that happen when a woman is pregnant.  Her emotions change, her mind changes as she makes decisions that she feels are the best for her and her child.  Hopefully, she has a loving and supportive mate to help her as she parents her child…not everyone does.  A pregnant woman’s spirit changes too…she has to think beyond herself and how the life of the child she carries will be influenced by the choices she makes in life.  Finally, her body changes…oh you know the usual: weight gain, swollen ankles, varicose veins…hemorrhoids…headaches and cravings.  The important change I think for a woman who really wants to be a mother, is that her heart enlarges…it makes room for more love than you can imagine a heart to contain.

That love is what builds a life that can withstand problems, challenges, and negativity that is sure to come their way as they live their lives.  That love is what opens the door to the good things in life that are meant to be enjoyed and nurtured.  That love is what keeps the human race continuing.

I think mothers who chose to love and are loved in return should be celebrated.  If you didn’t get that, from the luck of the draw, at the moment of your conception & birth…you can still find it. Everyone wants and needs that kind of love in their life.  Be sensitive towards those who you know have a hard time at this time of year due to abandonment issues, abuse, neglect or due to the death of their mother figure.  Be a role model and encourage those who are sad or lonely or feeling cheated in the mother department.

This world is full of women who have enlarged hearts and are willing to share them.  Find someone to celebrate the good things in your life with.  Whether it be as a sister, a friend, an auntie, a grandma, a daughter…a teacher, a neighbor or a pen pal; a mother’s heart can be found in a multitude of relationships.  Let yourself love and be loved.  Don’t let a broken biological accident of birth scar you into a negative mother’s day.  Find someone who can share an enlarged heart with you…and give & receive the best that life has to offer…a truly wonderful Mother’s Day!

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       Likeability can be a very fleeting thing.  When Jason got down on one knee and  began to propose to Deanna Pappas on a previous season of The Bachelor(ette); he immediately won the sympathy vote as she publically let him humiliate himself on national television when she had already chosen his competitor.  This season, Jason was the focal point as the bachelor.

        Jason has narowed down his choices to two beautiful, intelligent women.  Now the show has been running teasers that Deanna is coming back right before the rose ceremony…where he makes his choice.  Many fans are posting their unhappiness about this dramatic intervention.  The teaser tells us that Deanna tells Jason, You haven’t proposed yet.  This can only add to the confusion and frustration of that moment.  How will things end?  (more…)

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This is the time of year when people make all kinds of resolutions…some are attainable and some are not. Many times people make New Year’s resolutions and set themselves up to fail because they are too big or grand…the promises they make to themselves; or to others, just aren’t realistic. However, I think i have come up with the primo resolution. I want to celebrate the things in life that make me happy! I want to nip things in the bud that hold me back from achieving in the areas of life that I have been afraid to take a chance on.

I resolve to do more of the things in life that make me happy, healthy and that put me in a more financially secure postion. I am going to do less of the things which consume my time, in which I don’t have control over the outcome. I will make more of an effort to be less stressed…more at peace with the choices I make in life, and to do more serviceable types of things for others; not because I have to, but because that makes me happy.

Lord knows there is lots of negativity in the world both outside of my home and inside my head; I am going to work very hard at overcoming negative thoughts that could prevent me from being successful in the things that I decide are important enough to spend my time on. These are all do-able resolutions. They are not a quick fix for any one problem in the world, or in my life but, they are good practices in general. So, it is lifestyle choice…a work in progress.

If I make a mistake and realize it…it doesn’t mean I have to go all negative and stop trying. It simply means that, I am giving myself permission to have a do-over…a start over…a chance to improve. In other words…I resolve to do more of what makes me happy. I have a pretty basic happy nature…but circumstances have the ability to bring anyone down…I am making a decision to allow that to happen less often. What have you resolved to do in 2009?

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      As we once again approach the end of a year and begin another one; it never fails to amaze me how often we repeat the same old patterns.  Oh to be sure…there will be the predictible year in review on the news programs…on the entertainment programs; and, even on the morning talk shows.  Does anyone else watch those things and think….that happened this year?  Why, i thought that person passed away longer ago than that…or did that much stuff really happen just this year?  We can learn from these things because time really does pass more quickly than we are aware of.

         As as we approach the new year…we will invariably have to hear about all of the new year’s resolutions that we may or, more likely, may not keep within days of making our comittments!  🙂  We will hear from all of those people who have the ability to “predict” the future; telling us their  version of the coming days and, how we are going to handle those situations around the world. 

          I say, let’s do something new this year.  Let’s live in the moment for a change…how does that sound?  People get so locked into the past that they can’t envision the future.  Those who have their sights set on the future…are so busy trying to forget about the past that they cant live for today.  When we live in a constant state of rewind or fast forward…we miss some of the greatest moments today with our friends, our family, our co-workers, neighbors and even with friends we have not yet met.

          Each day is a gift and must be truly lived in to be appreciated.  There is nothing worse than meeting someone who is bitter and corrupted from the past that continues to haunt them…or someone so bent on tomorrow that they can’t even take the time to realize that today is passing them by while they are so busy preparing for the next greatest thing that may be coming their way.  Regrets are a terrible thing to live with because wishing things were different doesn’t make it so. 

          People who get to the end of their lives either take stock and tally all the blessings in their life or they sit and review all of the missed opportunities and regrets of things that they could have, would have or should have been done better.  That is not a happy moment.  

          Our attitude or approach to life should be viewed as a whole life outlook or plan…not as in segments to be filed away for posterity to be reviewed at a later date; it is much too precious and passes way too quickly, we might forget to DO something important if we view life in small segments to be accomplished.  At the end of life, there are no do overs; I am afraid to tell you.  This is it, in this world that we live in.  If you get off of your chosen path…it is easy to re-route your footsteps and get back on track…as long as you are still breathing…you can change the course that you choose to follow.

         Many of us spend way too much time doing things that we don’t want to do…things that don’t make us happy; or, doing things that others expect us to be doing.  When it comes right down to it…no-one else lives inside of our skin…or our souls; we alone are responsible for our personal failures and achievements.  Yes, there are others who help us on our way but; no matter what…when it comes right down to it; we each have a responsibility to figure out how we want to live our lives…with both the beginnings, the endings and all that happens in our lives, in the very important middle.  Let’s make it a goal to make every day count for something special!

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        Yes, Britney Spears is talented…but, after the roller coaster year she has had and the struggle to pull her life together…i guess I expected a bit more of her.  She is beautiful, she is talented and she has the drive to become anything she wants to be.  That is why i was disappointed by her appearance on Good Morning America this morning for her 27th birthday celebration.  I know that all of this media attention is merely publicity for her upcoming tour and album release; but, I was hoping for something a little more.  After all, she has revamped her body, her legal standing, and she has regained some control of her well-being over the troubling last year.

        She is twenty seven years old…and she “recreated” her past image.  I really thought that she would re-invent her image by pulling it together instead of trying to hyper-sex her image.  Who of us wouldn’t have responded positively to a more grown up version of the Britney Spears entertainer?   Come on…for heaven’s sake…she has the pipes; she doesn’t need to strip down to expose herself by wearing outfits that leave little to the imagination.  (For the record, i have the same problem with other talented people like Beyonce who recently introduced her audience to her alter ego, Sasha Fierce).  There are audiences who will eat this stuff up; but do they care about the entertainer as a person outside of what is given them on the stage?  The performer doesn’t have to live with the audience; they only have to live with themselves when they leave the spotlight.   Is the public adulation enough for you?  Does the fame help you to live a fuller, happier life when not performing?

        It’s bad enough that the music/television business pushes the hyper-sexed robots that sell shows/concerts to the public…but, why in the world do the celebrities exploit their own images?  They already have the industry contacts, they have the skill set, they have supportive fans…why do they feel the need to sell their images this way?

        I really take issue with Britney’s performance on Good Morning America; as her very young sons and mother were in the audience.  Is this necessary to expose your young children to the visual of their mother strutting around on stage in the barest essentials, singing about things like serial womanizing? 

         Where is the inside soul of Britney?  Is she gone?  Sometimes when you look at her eyes in photographs …you see such emptiness, vulnerability and sadness.  Does she think that this version of her talent is ALL that she has to offer us?   I can’t help but think back to the young girl who was beginning her career; the girl who had such a genuine look in her eyes and talked about positive traditional values…she has been missing for a long time.  Britney genuinely seemed more like a happier person at that time, more then she does today.  Today she has children, she has more material things, she has more money and fame than she did back then.  So what’s missing? 

        I figured when Britney exploded back into the public eye, professionally, we would see a more mature version of her; one that combined who Britney was before she turned into such a hot commodity; and, the person who battled her way through the fire this past year.  I know she has it in her to be using her talent in a way that is in alignment with her formerly acknowledged Christian values.  Maybe Britney needs reminded that she is a young woman, a mother, a daughter, a sister and an aunt…someone who has a responsibility to represent herself as a positive influence to those around her.

          Remember Britney when you talked about keeping yourself pure?  Obviously you have had children and adult relationships…but, in that maturing process it appears as if anything goes in public now.  How do you want your children to conduct themselves in the next 7-10 years?   Are we going to see your children performing as Chippendale-like dancers before an audience of screaming female fans; stripping down to G strings, when they are in their teens?  Will you be ok with that?  Because that is the example you are putting before the eyes of our young sisters-brothers, and sons-daughters. 

         And Britney, you are making it appear irresistible…you are rich, you are famous, you are beautiful and, you have the career that many would be thrilled to have.   If only you would channel your career into something that is more acceptable in the way of traditional family values; in a world that is craving positive, musical role models.  I don’t think that you realize the impact that you have on your young fans. 

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Have you ever noticed that people who have an attitude of thankfulness in their heart are much more pleasant people to be around?  That fact was brought home yesterday, when I knew that we would be surrounded with family who has that view on life.  It is not so much that life is perfectly happy and content…it is an attitude of grattitude.  Knowing in your heart that things can get better when they are not the way that you wish them to be.  The future has a way of working itself out when living situations are not as you want them to be.

       The point was driven home that it is a choice to experience life to it’s fullness by a phone call.  It was a person who is going through a very difficult thing in life…divorce.  He had called the night before and was very morose and abrupt.  He SAYS that he called to wish us a Happy Thanksgiving.  But it didn’t feel that way; and my husband was not available to talk to him till the next morning… on Thanksgiving.

       So my husband calls him back to return the “good wishes” only to be greeted and treated to the same monotone voice that i heard.  He was filled with despair.  When wished a Happy Thanksgiving…he actually replied; “What is there to be thankful for?”

       Then he said, that is why i called you yesterday; to AVOID the whole Thanksgiving Day thing! Then why call at all?  Did he really mean it that he wished for us to have a Happy Thanksgiving or did he want to let us know, that while we were having a Happy Thanksgiving, he was miserable? 

       I asked him the night before what he was going to do on Thanksgiving after trying to support him through the short conversation; only to become disconnected on the phone.  Or that is what i thought, until the next day when my husband experienced his phone call with this person.  He too experienced a disconnect with him…co-incidence? 

        I don’t think it was…i think he was hanging up in his misery.  That is sad, it is disturbing, it is heart wrenching.  It was also angering; because, he does have much to be thankful for.  He has a job, he has a place to live, he has  children for which to be thankful for.   The phone calls were a blantant bid for sympathy; and, an opportunity to dump his chosen mood of misery on other human beings.  How we choose to live our lives is just that, a choice.  You can “let life happen to you” or you can choose to wring every last joy or pleasure out of it while you have it.

       It isn’t that we don’t care about the misery that he is going through in his divorce.  But the truth is, that no one else can give you happiness or peace.   You can’t put life on hold or it will pass you by…leaving you with a plate full of regrets!

      Now there is more suffering.  It is unavoidable at this point.  There are two choices…to accept the ending and move forward…or wallow in the misery and resentment.  This person still has children to be a parent to; siblings to have relationships with; and, the person is still young enough to learn from their mistakes and rebuild their life with another person, if he so chooses.  This person is a good person.  I wish for him happiness.  I wish for him healing and joy in life.  If i could box it up and give it to him…i would…but i am afraid…he doesn’t know how to accept it. 

       Life is short.  We must approach it with care.  Is life always going to give us what we want, when we want it, the way we want it on a silver platter?  No.  Can we still choose to live joyously and fully?  Yes, i believe we can.  Let’s help each other along by giving encouragement, when we are ALLOWED to!

      Have you ever noticed that people who have an attitude of thankfulness in their heart are much more pleasant people to be around?  That fact was brought home yesterday, when I knew that we would be surrounded with family who has that view on life.  It is not so much that life is perfectly happy and content…it is an attitude of grattitude.  Knowing in your heart that things can get better when they are not the way that you wish them to be.  The future has a way of working itself out when living situations are not as you want them to be.

       The point was driven home that it is a choice to experience life to it’s fullness by a phone call.  It was a person who is going through a very difficult thing in life…divorce.  He had called the night before and was very morose and abrupt.  He SAYS that he called to wish us a Happy Thanksgiving.  But it didn’t feel that way; and my husband was not available to talk to him till the next morning… on Thanksgiving.

       So my husband calls him back to return the “good wishes” only to be greeted and treated to the same monotone voice that i heard.  He was filled with despair.  When wished a Happy Thanksgiving…he actually replied; “What is there to be thankful for?”

       Then he said, that is why i called you yesterday; to AVOID the whole Thanksgiving Day thing! Then why call at all?  Did he really mean it that he wished for us to have a Happy Thanksgiving or did he want to let us know, that while we were having a Happy Thanksgiving, he was miserable? 

       I asked him the night before what he was going to do on Thanksgiving after trying to support him through the short conversation; only to become disconnected on the phone.  Or that is what i thought, until the next day when my husband experienced his phone call with this person.  He too experienced a disconnect with him…co-incidence? 

        I don’t think it was…i think he was hanging up in his misery.  That is sad, it is disturbing, it is heart wrenching.  It was also angering; because, he does have much to be thankful for.  He has a job, he has a place to live, he has  children for which to be thankful for.   The phone calls were a blantant bid for sympathy; and, an opportunity to dump his chosen mood of misery on other human beings.  How we choose to live our lives is just that, a choice.  You can “let life happen to you” or you can choose to wring every last joy or pleasure out of it while you have it.

       It isn’t that we don’t care about the misery that he is going through in his divorce.  But the truth is, that no one else can give you happiness or peace.   You can’t put life on hold or it will pass you by…leaving you with a plate full of regrets!

      Now there is more suffering.  It is unavoidable at this point.  There are two choices…to accept the ending and move forward…or wallow in the misery and resentment.  This person still has children to be a parent to; siblings to have relationships with; and, the person is still young enough to learn from their mistakes and rebuild their life with another person, if he so chooses.  This person is a good person.  I wish for him happiness.  I wish for him healing and joy in life.  If i could box it up and give it to him…i would…but i am afraid…he doesn’t know how to accept it. 

       Life is short.  We must approach it with care.  Is life always going to give us what we want, when we want it, the way we want it on a silver platter?  No.  Can we still choose to live joyously and fully?  Yes, i believe we can.  Let’s help each other along by giving encouragement, when we are ALLOWED to!

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What Are You Going to Accomplish Today?

        Are you living your life fully or are you going through the motions just waiting for something to happen to change the way things are?  Do you have long term and short term goals in place?  Are you focussed on enjoying today while planning for tomorrow?  Life is an interesting mix of failures, accomplishments, goals; each has their place in your life to enable you to be successful in your personal and professional life.

         Have you ever heard how people answer questions about their life?  Anyone ever said to you…it is just another day?  That my friend, is a life that is un-fulfilled.  That is a person who isn’t engaged with their purpose in life.  Maybe they don’t know that they live and breathe for a reason.  Every person has gifts, ideas, experiences, talents, and knowledge that is meant to move them and others through life in a positive way.  Sitting on those  qualities and hoarding them without using them to improve life is a one way trip to no-where.

          Do you know anyone who has to learn life the hard way?  Are they condemned to experience life through failure?  Or , are they equipped to live and learn from the mistakes and the successes of others…saving themselves time and enabling them to succeed more quickly and efficiently?

           I want to tell you about an opportunity to experience something that has never been done before.  There is going to be a life changing seminar in Long Beach, California Sept 26-28th put on by Brendon Burchard, author, life coach, businessman and motivational speaker.   Brendon wrote the book, Life’s Golden Ticket last year and made a huge impact on those who have read it.  It was published by Harper Collins.  He has put together a program that is going to address personal and professional growth as well as wealth building.  Can you use any help in those areas?

           This is an affordable event.  It is not going to be held in a traditional hotel environment where they present you with recycled information and then grab your money.  This experience is going to include, music, business advice, life changing information on gathering business partners, personal growth experts, the power of impact, and learning how to build upon what you have and the contacts in your life.  If any of this interests you…you may want to click on this link to find out how you can be there to see this extra-ordinary event unfold.  It will make history as it takes place under a big top tent.  Nothing boring here 🙂  Here is your link to more information…and some free audio snippets of an interview:  http://www.lifesgoldenticket.com/preview 

            Also at this event, you will see the results of Ken McArthur’s Boot Camp Impact Action Team and what they were able to accomplish in their teamwork by joining together to make a positive impact in an area of life that touches so many.  It is important to support the Impact Action Team and the work that they are doing!  Check out the person that was chosen to receive the benefit of their impact here:  http://speakupsavelives.org/  Meet Deremiah CPE…see how you can help impact the world.

             Find a way to get there…and discover what your purpose in life is; and, how you can nurture that purpose, and allow it to blossom.  You will understand how to take the promise of the seeds in your life and turn them into the amazing life that they were meant to be!  Are you up to the challenge, are you willing to enjoy each day to the fullest, living your life with purpose and clarity, achieving all that you are meant to achieve; and, spreading the message that we are all here to encourage and lift each other up?  Life is too short to spend it wishing for more, accepting less and resenting those who understand how to make things happen in a positive way, Don’t you think so too?  Come on, check it out:  http://www.lifesgoldenticket.com/preview  If you don’t listen to anything else, listen to the last audio…where he talks about his amazing un-precedented money back guarantee!  He sounds pretty confident to me that you will not leave the event un-changed or un-happy!

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       Have you ever known someone who is in a totally disfunctional relationship and just seems destined to repeat patterns of negative and destructive behaviors?  I was thinking on this last night with a young teenaged couple that i know.  They spend all of their time together…fighting…hurting…crying…begging…breaking up…for-giving….manipulating…emotional arm wrestling…isolating…and starting all over again.  They are on the phone…or in person…tuning everyone else out..until they self-destruct.  Then, the explosion, they want everyone to feel their pain.  When counseled…all they can think about is “fixing it” and getting back together.  They get back together all right…but nothing ever gets fixed.  It is an emotional war that definately takes prisoners.

        Then today, someone else that i care about deeply…has decided to once again go up for a heaping dose of all you can eat at the salad bar of pain and abuse.  Taking a little taste of negativity, nibbling on a chunk of guilt large enough to choke a horse, a dip of put downs and innuendo, a spoonful of diced self esteem, add a sprinkling of despair, a serving sized dollop of loneliness, add a slice of isolation, a bowl of anger, and lets not forget a huge serving of accusation.  Hey, you’ve already paid the price…there is no limitation on how much you can have…it is there if you only want more.  (more…)

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        We are all born into circumstances that we have absolutely no control over.  The best that you can hope for is to maximize the positive and to minimize the negative events, circumstances or experiences.  All of those things, both positive and negative, help to shape us into the person that we become.

        If we start to experience problems in our relationships at work, home, school, or on a personal level with someone special; often, we will discover at the root of the issue, are things left over from our very beginnings in life that are unresolved or unhealed.  When the past threatens to destroy your future you must take time to figure it out; for your well-being and for those who care about you.

        Understanding what the problem is and where it comes from is a turning point.  Don’t get stuck there with excuses why your life isn’t turning out the way you want it to…you don’t have to continue to be held hostage by the past!   (more…)

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        I remember as a teenager being told by my “elders” that the older  I would get, the faster it would seem like “Life was Flying By”.  Well, i hate to admit it but they were right.

        It seems like things are just moving so fast and there is so little time that it is a little bit creepy.  Things that are big news items one day, are not even remembered the next day because there are so many other items that are bigger, better, splashier and more exploitable each and every, new day.

         The other day i wrote here about the spy satellite with the poisionous gas that is about to enter the earth’s atmophere.  The US military plans to shoot it down this week.  They were waiting for the space shuttle to land before attempting to eliminate the threat that the satellite poses to the earth’s population. 

          The shuttle is scheduled to land tomorrow.  This is good, they will not be in firing range.  What i can’t believe is that no one is hyping the threats posed from the satellite.  No, no…the news is covered in things like Lindsey Lohan’s re-creation of a photo shoot that Marilyn Monroe shot way back in the 60’s.  Who could get through the day without having that little morsel pasted into their memory banks?

          Scandal is the name of the game.  Lord knows, if the people of earth could be in danger from the satellite….well…they must be up-to-date on the latest and greatest scandal in the news such as which particular baseball hero of the day used steriods or not, or whether Britney Spear’s dad is out on the partying circuit with Britney’s hangers on crowd, or perhaps, if a famous boxer really does dress up in fish net stockings in his private time!  These are important issues of today are they not?

          I mean who needs to know if there is some unknown government official who could be passing inspections of meat that goes into our school children’s school lunch programs, or the whole reason Fidel Castro is giving up his historical rein of power in Cuba, or how to put an end to all of these public, mass shootings, or why the economy in the US is on the verge of collapse between the mortgage nightmares…the high cost of gas and oil…the bondage of individuals and families who are ensared in a credit card debt web that they will never get out of without filing for bankruptsy…or, how to stop the exporting of jobs to other countries who can afford to pay their workers much less than US employees? 

           We each are “gifted” with such a short time here on earth that we really have to make the most of each and every day.  There is a constant demand for our attention with radio, television, newspapers and cell phones and computers…there isn’t a moment to just stop and realize how much time is wasted on things that really have no major importance.

           For each scandal that comes and goes…yes, the consequences are important.  To the people that it directly involves. 

          We have become a nation of observers of other people’s pain and misery.  When did it become a spectator sport?  If we invest time and energy to watch it…are we not morally challenged to do something about those very situations?  At the very least to pray or send good thoughts and wishes in those directions?

          Every moment of everyday…there are tragedies happening around us both in big and small ways.  There are wars, there are diseases, there are accidents, there are injustices, there are crimes of violence passed among our communities, deaths, and the list goes on.  Let us challenge ourselves not to get caught up in things that we can do nothing about. 

         If we were to focus our time and attention on reaching out to those around us and make a choice to improve our little corners of the world and make it a better place for those we meet everyday maybe “life wouldn’t fly by” so fast. 

          Helping those struggling around us often doesn’t take boat loads of money…sometimes it just takes a listening ear, or a sacrifice of a little of our time, or energy. 

           If we can wrap our minds around the concept of “spending time”/ in other words, using up what time we have alloted to us in our lives; maybe there would be a whole lot less people willing to “waste time” doing things that are un-important; or worse, damaging to ourselves and to the others around us. 

           We each have valuable talents and skills.  It is easy to get caught up in feeling depressed,sad, lost, lonely, or angry.  All of those emotions are negative and they snowball into negative actions.  Refocus and dig deep to find one positive thing to put your energy into. 

            Today it is easier than ever to get involved in positive things.  We can connect to others easily.  Find a group or organization to use what talents or skills you have.   Find a need and fill it, look for opportunities.   Be a role model to those around you.  Get involved in positive things and you will be amazed at how much happier you are.

          

          

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