Elder Abuse

       I don’t know about you but hearing about the elderly being abused makes me mad.  Yesterday on my home television station there was a terrible story about a elderly woman who was allegedly abused by her own son. 

       She was left on her couch allegedly for approximately three weeks without medical help.  She was so weak from lack of food and fluids that she could not even get up off of her couch.  Her home was so filthy with her own waste that the emergency workers and police who checked on her, became violently ill in the front yard of the home.  It sounds as if the woman’s social security checks were being cashed regularily though.  The news reports say that the woman allegedly did not have a shower/bath for up to one year! 

       The poor woman has had to have surgery…her home was in such disrepair that it was condemned by the authorities.  Where in the world has respect for life gone?  This is a failure of our culture to fail to make sure that all of our older friends and relatives are nurtured, cherished and protected.  Sometimes, the elderly deal with memory issues or mental illness; this is an especially important circumstance to get social workers and medical personel involved with, especially if they don’t have a close supportive family system in place.   It would be bad enough if this was an isolated case in our country; but, it is not. 

         Everyday the elderly are abused and neglected in their homes, in medical facilities, in nursing homes and on the streets.  It is an outrage.  Yes, the elderly require time and attention.  Yes, it can be difficult for the caregiver; as they are loosing their independence and ability to do many of life’s chores on their own and often they resent that fact; however, it is important to take loving care of our elders.  Time is short and spending time with your loved ones is special.   You can never get that time back with them once they are gone.  The difficult and challenging times will pass.   The elders in your community have many memories and experiences to share; take advantage of that time with them to store up knowledge and memories.

         Just showing some caring and concern for the elders can make a difference in the quality of life for them.  Offer to do a kindness for them such as pick up their mail for them; or walk their dog…take them to medical appointments, or grocery shopping.  Some tasks are too difficult for an elderly person who is unsteady or has medical issues; like, going up and down stairs to do laundry or shoveling their walkways or raking leaves.  

         We all will be elderly one day if we are blessed to live long enough.  Please, check up on your elderly neighbors, your parents, your friends; visit with them and help to relieve their loneliness.  If you see someone abusing or neglecting an older person (or any person for that matter) get involved…call the authorities!  You never know…you could be saving a life.   If you suspect elder abuse report it:  http://www.ncea.aoa.gov/ncearoot/Main_Site/index.aspx

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The Joy of A Child

         Today my 8 year old daughter is filled with joy.  Want to know why?  The thing that filled her with joy is just that a female classmate invited her to a birthday party at a local bowling alley.  This invitation made my child happy.  She started planning how much fun she was going to have.  She couldn’t wait to go pick out a gift for her friend.

         It is a simple thing… and yet it is not.  She is not an easy child socially.  She doesn’t always fit in.  But she is so excited about going to this birthday party. 

          Fitting “in” is not always easy whether you are a child or an adult.  We all have a need to be a part of the “in” crowd.  It is a couple of hours of acceptance for her which will be good for her self esteem.  Kids can be cruel if you dont wear the right clothes, have the right amount of money, live in the right neighborhood, belong to the right groups…those types of things.  We live in a small town so those kinds of issues are known about one another.

          Yesterday we went out and picked out the important birthday gift…with the right birthday gift bag to put it in.  People who seem to fit in with others as youngsters have a healthy self esteem.   Sometimes my daughter will say, no one likes me…the boys pick on me and say mean things about me to the other kids.  Self esteem is affected by the actions of others around us when we are young and growing; self esteem is important.

           This is an important tool for the teen years and adult years.  That self esteem keeps people from making poor choices when under stress, to make decisions like drinking or using drugs, or entering into healthy relationships when their peers put on the pressure.

           Adults can learn alot from watching their children struggle with acceptance.  It must be taught to not let peer pressure rule them but at the same time…to be accepted by others can be important in learning to accept themselves with or without the stamp of approval from others.  It is growing their judgement skills on knowing when to let someone’s opinion matter enough to affect how they conduct themselves.

            It is hard as a parent to let your child find their own way.  I just want to sometimes step in and say…my child is an awesome person.  Like her, treat her right, show her she is likeable for who she is….but i must let her make her own way in learning how to deal with fitting in and making good choices about who she lets influence her. 

           Those who can be mean or those who try to use their acceptance in the crowd to keep others out of it, have to be  understood by my daughter to learn who she can trust and why. 

            That way, she will understand more complex people as she grows older so as not to be manipulated or hurt.  Loving oneself and freely trusting others is easier when you learn to read others by their actions, body language and by how they treat you with respect.  My daughter is a smart girl; she will learn to let people into her life that know how to have healthy give and take relationships with each other.

             We must learn to understand that by our words, our actions, our body language we have a big impact on others whether we are children or adults.  *  The party was great…she had fun…the others had fun…and she was still filled with excitement when it was over!  This is as it should be.

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