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Posts Tagged ‘loyalty’

      This subject is never a pleasant one.  No one likes to acknowledge domestic abuse is a way of life…especially if it is happening within their own life.  Unfortunately, domestic abuse happens every day in a multitude of ways.  It doesn’t just happen in the lives of the poor, the rich, or the celebrity world; even though, that is often the stories that we hear about…those who are famous.  We must awaken to the facts of domestic abuse; it is often learned behaviors that are used to control another person…either with intimidation, physical violence, emotional abuse or sexual abuse.

       Domestic abuse is like cancer…it is constantly trying to destroy the people involved.  It is a pattern of behavior that affect both the abuser and the person being abused.  Many who are being abused do not recognize that what is happening in their lives is actually domestic abuse.  The reasons for their lack of understanding, or denial are many.  (more…)

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     I got to thinking this past week about a strange set of circumstances.  My husband, Jeff Wellman and his partners, Dixie Brown & Paul Counts, launched an internet marketing product and the response was so over the top that I was a bit perplexed.  I mean…people were calling to say thank you for the customer service, people  were amazed that he (the product owner), answered his own phone, people being shocked that he even put his own (real) phone number on the product page.  

        One caller was so taken aback that he laughed and said he had something all prepared to leave on a voice mail…and, when the phone was answered by the product owner…he didn’t know what to say; now that is kind of funny!   The whole response, to this old fashioned way of doing business, was wonderful in an amazing sort of way…it got me thinking; are we so deprived of good customer service that when we experience it, we are flustered enough that we feel we must acknowledge it?  🙂  (more…)

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       Oprah has been discussing her frustration with her recent weight gain over the last two years.  This has been an ongoing problem for Oprah (and many others as well) year after year.  Weight gain/weight loss cycles are hard on the body and even harder on the psyche.  No one needs to pile on the negative comments…because the person going through it beats up on themselves enough!  That is part of the struggle.

        The thing is…the up and down roller coaster ride is not one that most people willingly “decide” to get  on.  One day they have struggled to gain control and lose the weight.  They have focussed on the issues at hand and have overcome the struggle. 

          Then, before they know it…they go on about their daily lives and boom…they find themselves back in a position of being overweight and out of shape.  Because in the course of living…they have gone back to old patterns of lifestyle; because, it is easy to slip back into the comfortable way of doing things, without even realizing that you are doing it.

         The thing is…being overweight is a bit of an addictive problem.  Whether it be smoking, drugs, alcohol or sexual addiction; eating too much is a food addiction…food is tied into holidays and traditions, lifestyle, emotional rewards and punishments; as well as, behavioral patterns. 

            Eating sensibly has to be combined with a proper amount of physical exercise to balance the nurtritional needs equal to the calorie burn to achieve a maintained weight.   If you eat more calories than you burn…the weight accumulates.  Health issues start to arise and you feel less like exercising.  It becomes a vicious cycle…one that must be stopped before serious health issues affect the person in  the quality of their life.

            In reading comments that some posters have left on the news websites that ran with the story about Oprah’s weight issues…there were those who were supportive and those who were not. 

          Those who were not…tended to be supremely over-critical about her weight, her money, her media savy as well as her political alliances.  Those who were supportive expressed compassion for her and her battle.  Many had been through it themselves in the past or were also in an ongoing situation with their weight.  It makes her real and approachable because often times, the public views celebrities as people who have it all at their fingertips…someone people often put on a pedastal.

           It is a bit frustrating when you think about all of the shows that Oprah has done about weight loss, healthy dieting, lifestyle changes, cooking healthy meals and snacks only to still be in the same position years later.  She is not the only person to do so though.   

            It is a bit discouraging to think that someone who has “all the money in the world” to hire chefs, personal assistants, personal shoppers, and dieticians is still unable to keep it all together in the weight loss department.  That makes those viewers who have less money and resources, who struggle with weight management,  feel less able to be in control.  In reality, a person who struggles with weight issues is in the same predictament no matter how much money they have.  Their self confidence and body image play a big part in their ability to control their weight. 

            Like it or not, Oprah has built a following through years of hard work on her television show as well as her movies and publishing ventures.  Oprah has developed what most business people and marketers are dying to figure out how to procure…it is called customer or viewer loyalty.  This is a great tool to help both Oprah and her viewers to encourage one another and motivate one another in reaching their goals and maintaining them.

            There are those critics who say that Oprah overshares information about her life…and maybe that is true and maybe it isn’t…but, when you stop and think about it…Oprah knows herself well.  Maybe by speaking her version of personal truth and honesty about her weight…it is her way of holding herself accountable once again.  I for one, wish her luck and good health!

           

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         Last Thursday, the McCain campaign decided to stop aggressively campaigning in Michigan.  This is a mistake, as Sarah Palin at least recognizes.  She has expressed a desire to come back to Michigan to continue campaigning.  I say to you Senator McCain…Michigan Matters!!!  Do not give up on Michigan. 

         The voter’s in Michigan can make a big difference in this Presidential campaign; every vote counts!  Remember the fierce contest between Bush and Gore?  Please respect the voters who haven’t made up their minds by understanding that many of them are on the fence; give them a reason to support your team.  For those who choose to support Obama-Biden…it gives them an unfair advantage to influence the voters; who may feel abandoned by half of the Presidential nominees.

         We are a unique state, in a lot of ways.  We are also mavericks.  We have overcome alot.  Many of us, those who have continued to stay in Michigan despite the economic difficulties, are strong willed.  We have been overlooked in the primaries…our votes were cut in half.  Do you think that is ok with us?  No!  Now we are being told that you aren’t thinking that we are worth your time to campaign here; because, some stupid polls are saying that Obama is ahead in numbers?  Come on…give us some credit for making our own decisions politically.  Polls don’t always transition to winning votes when push comes to shove.  Your decision to exclude Michigan from further campaigning is going to carry some serious impact on the outcome of the election.  Every votes counts…are you willing to gamble with the votes that you have already gained by ignorning those who haven’t made up their minds?

         With your history of heroic action in the military…i didn’t figure you for a quitter.  What if your country had given up on you?   Your running mate doesn’t appear to give up easily!  If you trust her decision making ability, you will reconsider the decision to stop campaigning in Michigan.  I say to you…when things look the bleakest…that is when the most amazing things happen; things miraculous! 

         Take a stand, send Sarah; matter of a fact… come back yourself.  Even the runt of a litter that gets picked rewards it’s caretaker with loyalty.  This state has a history of turning things around…we’ve done it before…and, we are going to do it again.  We have gone through difficulties with businesses closing up and moving out of state or, out of country; we have had the automobile industry take some hard hits…we have struggled to survive.  We are going to be on the forefront of the alternative energy field…we are going to turn the economic predictions for Michigan on it’s head.

         We don’t forget those that stick by us.   Maybe it is time to remind you that Detroit, one of the biggest cities in Michigan, has been RECENTLY scandalized by Detroit’s former mayor, DEMOCRAT Kwame Kilpatrick and his behavior.   We want a candidate for President who respects the citizens of this nation and has their best interest at heart.  Is that candidate you?

         Michigan remembers the bullying tactics that Kilpatrick’s team allegedly used to try to stay in power…Republicans could use that behavior in their favor; as they try to win this state in the Presidential election.  Come on, refocus on the voters in Michigan that have been feeling neglected, abused and in-validated over the last year, in the tug of war for votes.  It is time to remind the world that Republicans understand that, every vote counts!

        There is a grass roots effort to get 100,000 signatures on a petition to bring the McCain-Palin campaign back to michigan here: www.fightformichigan.com  Make your voice heard!  If you only hear once side of an argument (or campaign) how do you think that will influence the outcome?  There is another organization that is going to try to express the opposition to the Obama-Biden campaign message www.ourcountrydeservesbetter.com by spending up to $500,000 on advertising a Stop Obama campaign.  People can’t make informed choices if they are only given one choice…all we ask is give us options in our choosing!

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        There is something to be said for being a part of the middle class…without any of  the demands expected of the rich and famous.  Have you ever stopped to think about what your life would be like if you were one of those celebrity names in the tabloids?  Every family has issues in their family tree with some relative or another. 

        Think about it…what if cousin Ralph committed a crime and was photographed for a magazine, making sure to give an interview which made a connection between his name and your’s in the article; or, your sister decided to become a singer (and she howled like your neighbor’s hunting dog) but still, she badgered your professional contacts to try to get an audition; or say, your Grandma decided to go on a talk show and talk about her sex life before she married Grandpa?  Maybe your father wants to write a best seller that very closely resembles your life pre-celeb days? Or a relative goes on a large shopping spree that they can’t possibly afford to pay for on their own?   How would you handle it?

         In today’s world, with everyone having access to so much digital information…if you are a celebrity, and the media decides to do a little digging…they are sure to find some family member, friend from the past, or ex-boyfriend/girlfriend who is more than ready, willing and able to spill the beans for a little $$$.  What’s more…you don’t even have to wait for the media to find those who are willing to spill the beans for a fee…your relatives can go viral just by publishing a blog.

          You don’t have to look far to see examples of what I am talking about.  After all, there are painful family issues that allegedly haven’t been able to be resolved in private, such as families like the Lohans who make the news regularily, with custody battles, blog posts, or writting letters to media outlets criticizing one another; rehashing the past and the present family problems.  These issues are deeply personal and have the ability to cause life long discord with in a family unit.  

           Then you have the media’s flavor of the month, the Spears family.  Either they focus on the latest exploits of Brit, Jamie Lynn, her mother, father or ex-husbands and boyfriends or they hint at some kind of rumor that vaguely resembles a sliver of truth and wait to see the fireworks.  You can understand the potential added damage done to an individual when there is intensive media scrutiny focussed on them. There is enough family drama in most families, without having to create an intense watch and see environment.

           What about family members who stay in the background until they have shopped around the possibility of writing a tell all book…like Oprah’s father, allegedly considered doing?  Or a little less reclusive personality, such as…Madonna’s brother, Christopher Ciccone who actually did write a book recently, detailing his complicated relationship with his sister.  Remember many years ago, the explosive book called Mommy Dearest, written by Joan Crawford’s daughter about her very famous mother?

           We’ve all seen that the tabloids will exploit a family member’s run- in with the law.  Or, maybe a business owner or individual who slaps a lawsuit on a family member of a celeb, knowing that it will get settled because of the negative PR.   A recent example of a legal situation was when Hulk Hogan’s son was sent to jail for allegedly being the driver in an accident that seriously injured one of his friends.  All the while, his family was going through a seperation/divorce and the media attention only added to their personal difficulties.  This fed the flames of many articles and celebrity gossip shows for many weeks.

            There is never a lack of divorce related stories or custody issues either.  We have come to know more about certain star crossed couples, and their problems, than we need to know; think of Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards, or Kim Basinger and Alec Baldwin, Pamela Anderson and any of her exes.  In these cases, many times the courts are often at fault for allowing legal records to become released to the public through the media; that is why you occasionally hear of circumstances where divorcing couples use a private mediator to settle their marriage issues.  Sometimes it is through individuals or their family members that we learn what is often harmful to the well-being of the couples or their children.  I am sure in the long run they come to regret the fact that so much private information has become public knowledge. 

            What about those situations where family members are estranged from one another and they use the media to communicate with each other about family issues.  I think about in that case, Angelina Jolie and her father.  Or, maybe Kellie Pickler who had a difficult relationship with her estranged birth mother.   Or Jennifer Anniston and her mother who allegedly became estranged, from one another, over too much personal information being given out. 

           Some celebrities don’t publically acknowledge their family problems…others confront them head on.  Which way is most effective for them, sort of depends on why the violations take place in the first place.  Some celebs feel that they must go public and defend themselves and others…keep a quiet counsel and deal with things privately.  It is not easy either way.  The power of criticism is strong…and you can’t please everyone, no matter what action a celebrity chooses to employ to deal with the fallout. 

           Regardless of celebrity status…it is helpful to remember that those people are human beings with feelings too.  They have relationships that can be damaged, and, they are often afforded little privacy as it is.  You would think that their family members would have a little bit of loyalty and a desire to keep some issues private; and, not turn their private relationships into some sort of pay- per- view.  But often, these situations aren’t JUST about money.  Sometimes, the interviews and books are written out of more complex issues; such as, unresolved issues involving trust, envy, control, anger, betrayal, neglect, abandonment or favoritism.  So when you see one of these interviews or books; remember that it might be more about getting even, than it is about getting rich!

           Certainly, the people who publish the reports, interviews, books, and celeb gossip programs aren’t going to keep potentially scandulous information to themselves; not when it is their bread and butter.  So think about that, the next time you purchase one of the tabloids, weekly celeb mags, tune in to the gossip programs, or purchase the latest personal memoir about someone famous; you are enabling them to sell out their own family members.  What if your friends or relatives did that to you?  What kind of tales could they tell about you to allow them to make money off from you or your past?

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     In my family (and I expect many other families as well) there was an unwritten sibling rule.  It was understood that no one else, in my presence, could pick on any of my siblings.  It would be a punnishable offense to pick on one of my siblings; if i was around…no one was allowed to do that…unless it was me, of course.

       Oh to be sure, we had our differences…every family does.  However, on the school playground, in the neighborhood, on the buses or anywhere for that matter…we protected one another.  It was a matter of loyalty. (more…)

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