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Posts Tagged ‘Madonna’

      It looks as though Madonna and Guy Richie are going to get a preliminary divorce decree on Friday…just over six weeks ago they announced that they were filing for divorce.  That is a quick release divorce no matter what country you live in.

      Resolving matters in a divorce is no easy task if there is money, property and time with children to be addressed.  It appears that they have been able to work out those details.  Madonna has her daughter Lourdes with her ex-boyfriend Carlos Leon.  Then, she and Guy will be sharing time with their two young sons Rocco who is eight years old and the young son that Guy and Madonna adopted from Malawi, David.  Children need quality time with both parents to be well-adjusted and healthy.

       No matter who you are, rich or poor…divorce is painful and disruptive.  Let’s hope that all may live in peace and love while raising their children to adulthood.

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      Rumors have been making the news for a long time about the health of the marriage of Madonna and her husband Guy Ritchie.  They have denied trouble whenever the subject came up…but…the old saying…where there is smoke there is fire stands because they have comfirmed that the couple has agreed to divorce one another.  As always…privacy has been asked for.  More than likely…that will not happen; when infamous couples declare seperation or divorce…it only creates more curiosity.

      Madonna, the material girl of old, has always commanded a large amount of publicity.  Guy Ritchie has been along for the ride since their marriage back in 2001.  It is difficult for any relationship to thrive under that kind of spotlight.  No divorce is easy and dividing up possessions, money and custody time is going to be compounded by the fact that Guy is a Londoner…and Madonna, before the marriage, was a resident of the United States.  For those of you who have gone through a divorce and had to work out visitations and custody times…imagine doing it from one country to the next.  Of course, that is assuming that Madonna would consider moving back to the states after the divorce.  At the moment she is on a tour.

        Madonna’s brother Christopher Ciccone wrote a book earlier this year about his relationship with Madonna.  Christopher alludes to the fact that he believes that Madonna’s husband Guy came between their sibling relationship and their professional relationship.  Christoper was a designer and coreographer for several of her musical tours.  I wonder if they will be able to repair their relationship after this marriage has ended.

       It is the children that will have to do the most adjusting through this situation.  Money doesn’t change that fact; children always suffer the most in a divorce or seperation.  Madonna has three children, Lourdes, Rocco and David.  Lourdes is from a previous relationship to the marriage…Rocco is Guy’s son and David is both of theirs because he was adopted from Malawi during their marriage.  It is sad for them most of all.  Adults make their own choices about such matters.

        In any case, best wishes to all…peace and love to all parties…but, i imagine it will take some time for the fireworks to dim before it is all said and done…these situations take time and energy to resolve.

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        There is something to be said for being a part of the middle class…without any of  the demands expected of the rich and famous.  Have you ever stopped to think about what your life would be like if you were one of those celebrity names in the tabloids?  Every family has issues in their family tree with some relative or another. 

        Think about it…what if cousin Ralph committed a crime and was photographed for a magazine, making sure to give an interview which made a connection between his name and your’s in the article; or, your sister decided to become a singer (and she howled like your neighbor’s hunting dog) but still, she badgered your professional contacts to try to get an audition; or say, your Grandma decided to go on a talk show and talk about her sex life before she married Grandpa?  Maybe your father wants to write a best seller that very closely resembles your life pre-celeb days? Or a relative goes on a large shopping spree that they can’t possibly afford to pay for on their own?   How would you handle it?

         In today’s world, with everyone having access to so much digital information…if you are a celebrity, and the media decides to do a little digging…they are sure to find some family member, friend from the past, or ex-boyfriend/girlfriend who is more than ready, willing and able to spill the beans for a little $$$.  What’s more…you don’t even have to wait for the media to find those who are willing to spill the beans for a fee…your relatives can go viral just by publishing a blog.

          You don’t have to look far to see examples of what I am talking about.  After all, there are painful family issues that allegedly haven’t been able to be resolved in private, such as families like the Lohans who make the news regularily, with custody battles, blog posts, or writting letters to media outlets criticizing one another; rehashing the past and the present family problems.  These issues are deeply personal and have the ability to cause life long discord with in a family unit.  

           Then you have the media’s flavor of the month, the Spears family.  Either they focus on the latest exploits of Brit, Jamie Lynn, her mother, father or ex-husbands and boyfriends or they hint at some kind of rumor that vaguely resembles a sliver of truth and wait to see the fireworks.  You can understand the potential added damage done to an individual when there is intensive media scrutiny focussed on them. There is enough family drama in most families, without having to create an intense watch and see environment.

           What about family members who stay in the background until they have shopped around the possibility of writing a tell all book…like Oprah’s father, allegedly considered doing?  Or a little less reclusive personality, such as…Madonna’s brother, Christopher Ciccone who actually did write a book recently, detailing his complicated relationship with his sister.  Remember many years ago, the explosive book called Mommy Dearest, written by Joan Crawford’s daughter about her very famous mother?

           We’ve all seen that the tabloids will exploit a family member’s run- in with the law.  Or, maybe a business owner or individual who slaps a lawsuit on a family member of a celeb, knowing that it will get settled because of the negative PR.   A recent example of a legal situation was when Hulk Hogan’s son was sent to jail for allegedly being the driver in an accident that seriously injured one of his friends.  All the while, his family was going through a seperation/divorce and the media attention only added to their personal difficulties.  This fed the flames of many articles and celebrity gossip shows for many weeks.

            There is never a lack of divorce related stories or custody issues either.  We have come to know more about certain star crossed couples, and their problems, than we need to know; think of Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards, or Kim Basinger and Alec Baldwin, Pamela Anderson and any of her exes.  In these cases, many times the courts are often at fault for allowing legal records to become released to the public through the media; that is why you occasionally hear of circumstances where divorcing couples use a private mediator to settle their marriage issues.  Sometimes it is through individuals or their family members that we learn what is often harmful to the well-being of the couples or their children.  I am sure in the long run they come to regret the fact that so much private information has become public knowledge. 

            What about those situations where family members are estranged from one another and they use the media to communicate with each other about family issues.  I think about in that case, Angelina Jolie and her father.  Or, maybe Kellie Pickler who had a difficult relationship with her estranged birth mother.   Or Jennifer Anniston and her mother who allegedly became estranged, from one another, over too much personal information being given out. 

           Some celebrities don’t publically acknowledge their family problems…others confront them head on.  Which way is most effective for them, sort of depends on why the violations take place in the first place.  Some celebs feel that they must go public and defend themselves and others…keep a quiet counsel and deal with things privately.  It is not easy either way.  The power of criticism is strong…and you can’t please everyone, no matter what action a celebrity chooses to employ to deal with the fallout. 

           Regardless of celebrity status…it is helpful to remember that those people are human beings with feelings too.  They have relationships that can be damaged, and, they are often afforded little privacy as it is.  You would think that their family members would have a little bit of loyalty and a desire to keep some issues private; and, not turn their private relationships into some sort of pay- per- view.  But often, these situations aren’t JUST about money.  Sometimes, the interviews and books are written out of more complex issues; such as, unresolved issues involving trust, envy, control, anger, betrayal, neglect, abandonment or favoritism.  So when you see one of these interviews or books; remember that it might be more about getting even, than it is about getting rich!

           Certainly, the people who publish the reports, interviews, books, and celeb gossip programs aren’t going to keep potentially scandulous information to themselves; not when it is their bread and butter.  So think about that, the next time you purchase one of the tabloids, weekly celeb mags, tune in to the gossip programs, or purchase the latest personal memoir about someone famous; you are enabling them to sell out their own family members.  What if your friends or relatives did that to you?  What kind of tales could they tell about you to allow them to make money off from you or your past?

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     In my family (and I expect many other families as well) there was an unwritten sibling rule.  It was understood that no one else, in my presence, could pick on any of my siblings.  It would be a punnishable offense to pick on one of my siblings; if i was around…no one was allowed to do that…unless it was me, of course.

       Oh to be sure, we had our differences…every family does.  However, on the school playground, in the neighborhood, on the buses or anywhere for that matter…we protected one another.  It was a matter of loyalty. (more…)

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