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Posts Tagged ‘marriage’

If you haven’t heard the news yet, it appears that NY Democratic representative Anthony Weiner is caught up in a social media scandal that has caused great controversy.  In the beginning he said, that risque photos posted in the public time-line of his Twitter account was the work of a hacker. However, it has since been disclosed by Anthony Weiner that the photos were of himself and that he posted them to women that he “met” in his online relationships.

He’s stated that he has not met them in real life.  His credibility is being called into question because of the lies he initially told regarding the scandal.  His judgment is part of that controversy in regards to his career. Many people are wondering whether someone who would lie to his constituents, his family, his friends, and the media could do his job with honesty and integrity. To keep reading: Write Where You Are Blog

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      If ever there was a show to incite anger and frustration this particular season of the Bachelor is it.  There were people who absolutely adored Jason Mesnick when this season started just because of the way he was treated when he was on the Bachelorette a few seasons back when he was rejected by Deanna.  He came into the season with alot of goodwill on the part of the viewers I thought.  He has blown it big time with tonights episode.

      The season finale had him picking Melissa…ahhh…happy ending…but then wait…no…he changed his MIND people after hurting Molly from Michigan.  She told him when he let her go that he was making a mistake.  They all say that by the way…but Molly knew it deep within her soul after the night they spent together before the finale.  But, let her go –he did.  By the way…she left with dignity and grace…well, as much as is possible, in that situation.   (more…)

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       Likeability can be a very fleeting thing.  When Jason got down on one knee and  began to propose to Deanna Pappas on a previous season of The Bachelor(ette); he immediately won the sympathy vote as she publically let him humiliate himself on national television when she had already chosen his competitor.  This season, Jason was the focal point as the bachelor.

        Jason has narowed down his choices to two beautiful, intelligent women.  Now the show has been running teasers that Deanna is coming back right before the rose ceremony…where he makes his choice.  Many fans are posting their unhappiness about this dramatic intervention.  The teaser tells us that Deanna tells Jason, You haven’t proposed yet.  This can only add to the confusion and frustration of that moment.  How will things end?  (more…)

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      I recently read a story about a young woman in San Diego; I won’t mention her name, as i really don’t want to give her any more notoriety than she has already created for herself.   Not to mention, I personally hope that she changes her mind about her decision to sell her virginity to the highest bidder. 

      For whenever a product is sold…there is a give and take; and while it may seem that the money is worth the loss of something that she values less than the money…it doesn’t mean that the trade of her integrity is the right thing to do.  Integrity is a core value in a person.  It is the state of being whole or undiminished; of adherring to moral or ethical principals; of honesty.  While she may be honest in her expectations of the deal…it does deminish the perception of who she is that she could or would sell herself to a person who would basically rent her body.  How will a future mate value her “virtue” if she herself devalues it?

      This 22 year old woman has received a bid for 3.7 million dollars for the one time gift of her virginity.  She allegedly got the idea to sell “it” after her sister allegedly prostituted herself for 3 months to pay for her college education.  Wow…is this like a family tradition or what?  I am sorry but, I am thinking this whole thing is wrong on so many levels.

        First off, the idea of selling your virginity is not my idea of innocence.  Evidently, it isn’t the dictionary’s idea of innocence either.  The definition of innocence is:  the quality or state of being innocent;  freedom from sin or moral wrong;  simplicity or lack of guile;  naivete;  lack of knowledge or understanding; freedom from legal or specific wrong; or, harmlessness.

       This young woman may have a lack of sexual experience…however, she is not innocent or “unknowing”.  She does understand what she is about to do.  She knows that she is selling a “product-herself” for a large sum of money.  She appears to understand that there are some people in this world who are willing to possess that “physical innocence” for a sum of money…even though that innocence is fleeting.  The logic of paying mutiple millions of dollars for something this empty escapes me…I can’t help but to ponder, what type of person would consider something of this nature. 

      She allegedly said that she believes that both herself and the person that she does “it” with will both profit greatly from the deal.  For herself, she plans to use some of the money to pay for an advanced degree in family and marriage therapy.  Hmmmmm…interesting!  Personally, I think it brings a whole new meaning to the idea of a profit/loss statement.   

       I wonder if she may someday have to use some of that money to pay for counseling once she takes that step into a marriage of her own…when both she and her future spouse have to come to terms with the physical and/or, psychological consequences of her actions regarding her virginity.  Money is a poor balm to a mind and a soul that is damaged from selling itself to the highest bidder.  Will she be able to trust that the person she chooses to marry is marrying her for herself and not for her money?  Will she be able to find a person to love her, who can find kernels of a person of value…after she devalues herself, as a person, by selling her body? 

       After all, this isn’t a person who is being forced to sell herself…nor is she selling herself to “survive”; she is making a conscious choice to sell her body for money.  When it is over, will she consider that she traded up?

       Back to the definitions of innocence…freedom from sin or moral wrong (decay)…while some may try to deny that selling your body is wrong morally…the soul knows it’s worth.  That is what a conscience is for.  It gets troubled and disturbed when you do things that go against spiritual purity.  That is a safety valve built within our very beings…it is designed by God to help us turn away from the very choices that have the ability to destroy us for eternity.  That is my opinion.

       Now, most anyone over the age of 10 understands about the exposure to STD’s from having sex with multiple partners.  This woman does not pretend to have a future with the person who will use her for this sexual experience.  That means that someday, she will eventually have other experiences with someone.  She herself admits that she is using this unknown person, in my opinion, by alluding to the fact that she is in it for the money.   I think in her mind, it is a straight up exchange of money for the sexual pleasure of sharing this 1st sexual experience with her.   This decision could have lifelong impact on both her life and, that of this invisible person with excess money; not to mention…her future sexual partners and or, any children that she may have someday.   In my book…exchanging sexual favors for money is prostitution and is illegal in California, last I knew. 

      Not that people don’t get involved in prostitution…however, they do get arrested for it; prostitution is a crime!    What do you think of this situation?

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     It was announced today that two of the professional dancers on Dancing With The Stars are now engaged.  This is a surprise to many as Karina Smirnoff was involved with former contestant entertainer Mario Lopez not so very long ago. 

      Karina is now engaged to be married to Maksim Chmerkovskiy.  They are both very talented.  They have been dating for most of the summer and are , at present, involved in the Dancing With The Stars tour.  They became engaged on New Year’s Eve. 

       The new season of Dancing With The Stars begins the second week of March.  This new aspect of their relationship should make for a very interesting season for viewers.  How will the competition between dancing teams affect their relationship….how will it affect their dancing?  In any case, we wish them well…may they live happily ever after. 

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     For those who have not heard the news story this past week; a man by the name of Bruce Pardo dressed up as Santa and went on a shooting rampage directed at his ex-wife and her family.  He was aware that they held an annual Christmas party.  He had been planning this for quite some time.   About a week or so before the shootings took place…Bruce Pardo and his estranged wife,  Sylvia, were officially divorced after 2 years of marriage.  This man who dressed up as Santa, needed help.   If he had gotten it…maybe this tragedy would not have happened.

        It sounds as if  the Pardo’s marriage was one of deceipt.  Mr. Pardo had not disclosed to his wife that he had a child from a previous relationship that he did not see, nor did he help support.  It seems that when this child was a toddler in Mr. Pardo’s care; the child ended up in a pool and almost drowned.  The young child is now around the age of 7 ; but, Bruce Pardo kept this child a secret from his wife.  She discovered that the child existed by going through tax papers and finding out that he claimed the child as a dependent.  He denied the situation and Sylvia called her mother in law who confirmed that a child did in fact exist and was disabled.   She filed for divorce…he did not want it.

       It seems that during this time…Bruce also lost his job and then was ordered, by the court, to pay support to his soon to be ex-wife.  By all appearances…Bruce did his best to follow through on the court’s dissolution of his marriage….yet, all along he planned his revenge on the woman who divorced him and those who were closest to her and helped her to leave him. 

        Bruce rented two vehicles and he had things planned out.  He had an extra large Santa suit made up for him.  It seems that at the annual party, Santa always showed up.  He went to the home with a gift in his hand…when the door was opened by a young 8 year old girl…he opened fire, shooting her in the face.  He then went about shooting and looking for specific people.  After he shot the people he went looking for…he then used a homemade device to set the home on fire; inadvertantly causing himself 3rd degree burns when part of the Santa suit melted into his skin from the incendiary device he used to start the fire.

         People in the home had tried to hide and some were able to flee.  A sister of Sylvia’s escaped to a neighbors with the young 8 year old girl who was shot in the face.  She was able to call 911.  After starting the fire, Bruce Pardo shot out street lights…allegedly to help further his escape. 

         People are speculating that he had plans to shoot his own mother who was planning on attending the Christmas party, at her ex-daughter in laws parents home.  She felt ill that evening and was not able to attend.  Bruce blamed his mother for siding with Sylvia in the divorce.    Also allegedly a possible victim of violence was the divorce lawyer who represented Sylvia.  One of the rental vehicles was sitting near the lawyers home. 

        It appears that Bruce changed his plans after he was burned.  It is thought that he was in great pain.  He allegedly had purchased a plane ticket for Illinois to go there and cross the state line into Iowa to see a friend.  He also had about 17,ooo.oo dollars plastic wrapped to his body.   Instead of implementing those plans…he drove approximately 30-40 miles to his brothers home and broke in and shot himself dead.

         What is hard to understand is; didn’t anyone who knew him or had occasion to spend time with him, during the weeks preceding the violence, see his mental breakdown?  Was he so good at hiding his wrath that he was able to misleed the people in his life?  Or did he isolate himself a this time?

         Those familiar with the divorce situation say that he seemed almost eager to have it over with.  The neighbors say that he was friendly and even wished them a Merry Christmas after telling them he was attending a Christmas party. 

          People who knew him said he was a friendly guy.  They are shocked.  And yet, a close friend of Sylvia allegedly said that Sylvia said he changed almost immediately after the marriage.  He became secretive.  Others say that Bruce had a secret guilt about the child that was gravely injured on his watch.  The mother of the child allegedly says that he was involved when the child was in the hospital; but then…he didn’t visit nor did he support the child.  In fact, he kept the child a secret from many…including his new wife.

         The thing is…people who struggle with mental health issues dont always get the help that they need.  Bruce Pardo needed that kind of help to cope with the feelings that he had from the tragedy that happened to his child.  He needed support and counseling to heal up from the guilt that he most likely felt after the child was injured.  He needed to have pre-marital counseling to help him break the news of this part of his life to his intended wife. 

          Sylvia needed a husband who could share this past with her.  She needed him to seek marriage counseling when their marriage appeared to flounder shortly after it began.  She needed some indication that the man she married was deeply disturbed and capable of such violence.  She needed protection from the man that she fell in love with. 

          Experts will tell you that people who are in a state of flux…or life changes are often the most vulnerable for domestic violence.  This is a dangerous time when emotions are raw and assets or custody rights are at stake.  Passions are running high.  It should almost  be mandatory to have to have some sort of counseling to help people through the maze of emotion and legal wrangling that takes place.

          I can’t help but to think of those that lost their lives and those who were left behind to deal with the aftermath.  God help them.  The things that they saw and heard will live with them for a very long time.  And what about those who weren’t there; but, were directly affected such as Bruce Pardo’s mother or his brother.  What about them?  People need to pray for all of them.  They are not responsible for his actions…and yet, they are directly affected by them as much as Sylvia’s family and friends.  His brother…can you imagine…how will he ever be able to go back into his home?  He has to wonder…why did his brother come there to commit suicide?   His mother…she was obviously friendly with Sylvia and her family; how will she relate to the surviving members?  They are all hurting…will they be able to help support one another or will it be too painful for them to see each other?

          So many questions and so few answers.  The thing is…unfortunately…people who are depressed or going through trauma often don’t think past the moment, about the long term effects of their actions.  It is the survivors that are left to cope with both the questions and the answers.

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        Dina Gottliebova Babbitt is a woman who has a rich history; she was in the concentration camp, Auschwitz with her mother in 1944.  Dina was a 20 something, young woman who had an artistic talent.  She had been an art student before she was sent to Auschwitz.  While in the camp, she decided to do something daring and she painted Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs on the walls of the children’s barracks, in an attempt to cheer them up.  This was bravery, as the consequences would be severe if she was caught.

         When it was discovered what she had done…she was called before Dr. Mengele who was also known as the Angel of Death in the camp.  She could have been sent to the gas chamber like so many others were.  Instead, she was ordered by Dr. Josef Mengele to paint portraits for him of the gypsies in the camp; as well as, to draw pictures of the many horrible “medical experiments” that he performed on those who were imprisoned in the camp.  Dina thought for many years that the portraits of the gypsies were destroyed.  It was in performing the artwork in the camp that her life and that of her mother were spared.

       In fact the portraits were not destroyed…they were sold to the Auschwitz-Burkenau State Museum after the war ended.  There are seven watercolor portraits of the gypsies; and, Dina Babbitt would like them returned.  Dina says that she feels that neither she, nor the gypsies can have spiritual freedom unless the portraits are returned to her.  I would imagine that Dina poured her soul into those portraits.  After all, how can you look upon such individuals, knowing their probable fate, and trace their very visage upon the canvas; and, not be one with them in spirit?   She has much support internationally; however, at this point, the museum allegedly refuses to return them.  You can write to the museum here in support of Dina:  muzeum@auschwitzorg.pl .

          You can also visit Dina’s website to learn more about her and see some of her work here: http://www.dinababbitt.com/  .

           After WWII, Dinah was hired as an assistant to Art Babbitt who was working for Warner Brother’s in Paris at the time; and, who was a former Disney animator who worked on Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.  They fell in love and later married, Dina was Art’s second wife.  Together they raised two daughters, Michele and Karin.  At least some good came out of such an evil time in history.  Their love and marriage I am sure  brought about a healing balm.  After all, Dina used the images of the talented animator to soothe the young children, who daily faced death daily in the concentration camps.  It is as if God himself sent a bit of the comforter to them thru Dina and the artistry of two talented artists.

           Dina was born on January 21, 1923 in Czechoslovakia, but, is now a U.S. citizen.  Just as recently as this past  summer of 2008, Dina was diagnosed with an aggressive tumor in her abdomin and was scheduled to have surgery performed to remove it.  It is her most fervent desire to have her portraits returned to her so that she can hold them in her hands one more time before she passes away.  She would like to see the portraits visit the Holocaust museums in the United States!  Please feel free to contact her family to help support their cause of the return the portraits to a woman who risked much to bring a smile to the children of Auschwitz; here is an email address:  michele@dinababbitt.com  or mushkane@yahoo.com

         This time in history can never be forgotten or denied.  If by looking into the faces of the victims of the concentration camps helps to make it real…then Dina Gottliebova Babbitt has used her talents in a very serviceable way.   Those portraits bring the horrible cost of forgetting that those who are different from us are still human and deserve to live life to it’s fullest.  It should not be up to another individual or organization to get to decide who should live and who should die.  We must uphold the lessons learned from setting back and waiting for the world to right itself in the area of human rights.  May the powers that be bring Dina’s portraits home to her, to soothe her heart and her soul.

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