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Posts Tagged ‘opinion’

       It appears that since this season of Dancing With The Stars has begun that dancing pro Cheryl Burke has been getting criticized for gaining some weight.  Today on several television programs Cheryl voiced her shock and discomfort with viewers who felt that they had a right to criticize her appearance.  Some of the questions she faced even went so far as to ask if she was several months pregnant.  Other comments were just plain rude and were meant to make her feel bad about her appearance. Her skills were not being questioned…just her appearance.

        Cheryl took off the summer to work on getting her dance studio opened.  While she was off from her normal schedule…she says that she gained about 5 pounds.  Some of the comments that Cheryl heard were very hurtful to her.  She said that the comments online and in tabloids were very in her face and she could not avoid hearing about them.  She said it caused her heartache and made her cry.  When she is on DWTS she is dancing approximately 7 hours a day.  Going without that regular schedule is what caused her to gain the extra pounds.

        Even though Cheryl said that she is comfortable in her own skin and has always been curvy since she hit puberty…those hurtful comments definately affected her.   She said, even with the weight gain..she is still able to fit into her size 4 costumes for the show. 

        I think it is unfortunate that people would feel it necessary to write in to her or about her weight gain.  I think as a society we are becoming conditioned by constant exposure to multi-media venues viewing celebrities and models who are setting a poor example of what is a healthy weight for their bone structure or frame.

         Americans are on a national trend heading towards obesity and that needs to be curbed.  However, we need to educate people not attack them.  Cheryl, as a size 4, is by no means hugely overweight.  As she stated on the television interviews…now that she is back regularily training in her dance routines…she is loosing the weight gain naturally.  She has no intention of going on some radical, unhealthy diet that will appease her critics.  I applaude her for that.  She has a healthy self-esteem and it comes across.

         Shorter stature women, who have the physical characteristic of being short- waisted, tend to show any amount of weight gain quite quickly.  I think, that combined with the television cameras ability to add 10 lbs to a person’s appearance and skimpy costumes that expose many of a womans trouble spots to the camera lense has put an unfair spotlight on Cheryl.  She is a beautiful woman who is talented and active. 

        Those who are quick to judge her, by the weight gain, should take care how they voice their opinion.  None of us would be too willing to trade places with her and be the person who is being judged.  There are few of us who would wish someone we care about to be judged by this same harsh standard.  What kind of an impact does it have on our young people to pick at someone’s appearance because they have gained a minimal amount of weight?  We have far too many people who struggle around the world with their body image; and because of that, they often develop eating disorders such as bulimia/anorexia.  This is a very serious blackmark on our culture.  Do you think it is fair for people to publically chastize Cheryl for her weight gain?  Has someone else’s opinion of you negatively impacted your self-esteem?

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       It can’t be helped; tonight, i am going to miss Dancing With The Stars.  It is my guilty pleasure to watch this show.  I look forward to the season; when it is out of season.  I need to run to the airport to pick up my hubby from a business trip.  He is more important than watching television…but, on the other hand, i am glad that Dancing With The Stars always has a recap on Tuesday nights, of the show the night before.  This way, i can catch up…since i am going to miss it tonight.  I hate to have to miss it; in it’s first showing…but, at least i will get to see the stars in action tomorrow night.

        Since this is the second week of the season, i hope that they haven’t changed their formula from the previous season…or, i will be very disappointed.  The early stages of the season…it is supposed to run fairly predictable with who leaves week by week according to skill or lack of skill…although, some have fallen for Cloris Leachman’s personality; and, kept her on a week or so longer than they should have in my opinion.  No matter, in a few short weeks, the true competitors will be in place and you will begin to see real growth in those who remain in the competition.  In the meantime, the show is an enjoyment for the most part. 

          In having Cloris, the oldest competitor in the history of Dancing With The Stars…maybe they should have called it Risky Business!  After all, a fall could be serious business for someone who is in their 80’s.  It is somewhat inspirational to have her set an example of remaining active in body and spirit when we age; however, Cloris has set a bad example with her behavior and her salty language.  

          Maybe Dancing With The Stars should have a clause in their agreement with the entertainers on standards of behavior allowed on the television show; since it is watched by families with young children as audience members. 

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         What a stinking mess we are living with.  Fear smells up a place…we have a huge financial crisis, a huge political crisis; and, it could be a privotal moment of rescue or a plunge into the abyss and truthfully, the whole thing could go either way!

          Huge meetings are taking place in Washington…panic is like a throbbing headache…it is there making it presence known…threatening to turn into something much worse than a mere pain.  Into the frey, we have a bailout plan that was possibly agreed upon, until some say McCain derailed it with the House Republicans who disagreed strongly with parts of the plan. 

          Throw on top of that…a debate that is scheduled for tonight between Sen. McCain and Sen. Barack Obama.  Battle lines have been drawn, in a somewhat blurry manner.  Sen. Obama says he will definately show up for the debate…McCain says…we should reschedule the debate and focus on this immediate crisis with a plan for the financial stabilization for our country.  Our leaders have been in financial denial too long to let this negatively impact our country any longer.  It is time for commitment to understanding the problem and taking action.

          Who is correct…Obama says the debates are important to help the people understand how the Senators would handle things if they were the chosen one for the Presidential office.  McCain says, these meetings in Washington are critical and that they should be involved in them.  This whole thing is larger than a difference of opinion.  Does it say something very basic about Obama’s nature to hold to the plan for the debate when all of the rest of the country is focussed on this crisis?  Does he feel set apart from it all?  Or is he making a statement by letting the others take the action behind the scenes?  Is he right to stay out of it?  Or should he be more involved? If he doesn’t get involved in the planning of the bailout…will he understand best how to run the country if he should win the election?  Will Obama will the voter’s approval in November for not going to Washington at this time? 

        Is McCain right to be in the middle of things?  Should he be in there fighting for the things to be included or excluded in the bailout plan?  If he wins the election will it help him to run the country by being involved in the planning of the bailout?  Should he back out of it and go do the debate?  Will McCain’s involvement hurt his chances for election in November?  Or will he be seen as trying to make a difference?  Does his involvement help or hurt his chances for election?

          What i don’t understand is why they both can’t be right?  Why can’t the debate be moved to Washington and take place there…while the rest of their time could be focussed on the meetings to keep current on what is happening behind closed doors.  Those meeting are going to not only impact the country in deep and profound ways…but, will also impact whoever does end up in the Presidential position!  This is real, this is so much bigger than either of the candidates and they both need to understand that the American people are going to have their decision made for them by the end of this crisis!

          This is no time for game playing, no time for political mud slinging, no time for experimentation…this country is looking for someone to take the helm of this country and be proactive in guiding the ship to a safer, less rocky course than it is on at this very moment in time. 

          Wall Street is in turmoil, the American tax paying public is in no position to fund a bailout when most of it’s residents are barely surviving as it is.  Banks are collapsing, housing is bottoming out, businesses are busting out all over the place, people’s investments and retirements are in jeparody…this is shaky ground; reminescent of what happened in Russia just a few short years ago. 

          Other countries are getting nervous as well.  Beware of the person who says they have all of the answers…because no one possibly can.  This is uncharted areas of expertise.  The last thing we need is a knee jerk policy…however, we need to start doing some major corrective action or things will not be able to recover. 

           Anyone with half of a brain knows that you don’t make crucial decisions when everything is imploding…because you need to make rational choices.  How in the heck did we get this far gone in this country before the “experts” in the markets and financial infrastructure sent up a red flag or a flare?  Couldn’t they see this coming down the road early enough to start changing the direction of this disaster?

           People’s very quality of life is slipping through the cracks of our governing body.  Something has to be done…but, who knows best?  Who do we trust?  Are we going to waste time having a political showdown between the two very people who could possibly be running the government in less than two or three months?  The sky is falling people…the sky is falling…for real this time; we are not crying wolf when we say…we need an immediate comprehensive plan to stop this country from disappearing into a black hole in the universe!  It is time to pray for the leadership of this country and ask that they be given wisdom in their decision making!!!  update:  Breaking news…McCain now says: he WILL attend the debate this evening in Oxford, Mississippi!

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        Have you ever been in a situation where you were won over to another person’s opinion…allowing them to convince you to their way of thinking?  Maybe your original opinion was wrong in the first place; but if not, how were they able to change your mind; have you ever wondered?

         Of course, most of us have an opinion about the things that go  on around us.  Have you ever found yourself in the position of having catapulted over to another person’s way of doing things; when you really wanted to do them differently in the first place?  Why did you allow their will to trump your own?  Was their way of doing things better…or were they just more persuasive?

          It is an interesting thing to think about.  Did you give more value to their opinion than your own?  What convinced you that they were right, and your thoughts or opinions were less right?  Often it is persistent persuasion, combined with perceived superior credibility.  You know your own faults and mistakes…but, you do not know those of the other person quite as readily; giving them the advantage of a certain level of confidence, that you do not automatically give your own opinion. 

          If you are a person that often feels resentment because others seem to get their way; and, your way is often not the chosen path; you need to think about why that happens.  Do you express yourself well?  Do you listen to all of the facts respectfully and then verbalize your opinion in a fair way, with a pleasant tone of voice?  Are you easily led by the firm voice of others, into doubting your own opinion?  These are issues that are important to the daily bump and grind in life, business, families and organizations. 

         If you tend to err on the side of giving more weight to the opinions of others, you need to evaluate where that comes from.   Knowing what you think and believe; and understanding why you hold those opinions, is key.  If you firmly believe that you are in the right, your opinion can be backed up with facts or figures; and, you learn how to present your voice in a confident and respectful way…others will listen.  Present the large and small picture, put things in perspective, use examples that re-inforce your beliefs, validate your opinion with evidence or a precedence that will apply to the situation.

         Sometimes it is important to find common ground where both sides of a discussion or issue can be met.  From that point on, listening is very important.  Listen to the other side of the issue or discussion before stating your opinion.   When you do express yourself, do it in a manner that is open to some give and take; or, compromise.  People who become entrenched in getting their own way, simply for the sake of getting their own way…often don’t. 

         If common ground can be achieved and there are degrees to which an issue can be decided…you have a better chance of convincing others to agree to your way of thinking.  If you can convince one or two other people to agree with you…often, you will start to see a shift in the direction of a group.  Persuading another person or two, begins to show validity to your way of thinking.  Some people may still personally hold a different opinion privately; but, what starts to happen is, that they are persuaded to hold an opinion that is influenced by the majority opinion.  This is effective impact.

         Often, you will see an organization or business use a celebrity or a powerful person who already has credibility in a certain area to give a testimony.  This is also called social proof…that is, harnessing that person’s value as a spokesperson because their opinion has valuable impact that can influence others.  If a group, business, or organization gets a famous person who shares their passionate message to endorse them…they are more likely to persade others or inspire them to their believe their message. 

         That is powerful, and that is why you see advertisers using the most famous powerful person that they can get on their public relations team; you even see it in politics.  Think about recent developments with Sen. Barack Obama…whether you believe in his ability to lead or not…you certainly have seen the star power that has been attached to his campaign.  There have been many celebrities who have given their “testimony” about their belief that he should be President…in fact, media analysts have given mention in the news to the Oprah factor regarding his campaign.  Oprah’s opinions carry alot of weight with some voters…she brings alot of persuasion to the table.

         Influencing a group in this way, needs to be done in a way that is ethical and honest.  Forcing others to your way of thinking can backfire and cause great harm if you are malicious minded.  Think of those who use gossip or rumor to negatively affect persons, or groups of people.  No one wins in that situation and bad feelings are created; leaving everyone involved with a negative impression.

         If you use the process of persuasion…and you are doing it in an ethical way…you will start to find that people will gravitate towards supporting your business, issue, or organization.  Being persistent in stating your opinion or issue is important to getting others to support that issue.  The more people who are pursuaded or convinced, the more that word of mouth spreads the opinion, it becomes viral; and, it becomes more credible to those who have not heard it, or been previously convinced. 

          If your goal of persuasion is to get people to take action…then effective persuasion is a must.  Ken McArthur’s Impact Boot Camp Action Team has spent the weekend learning how to use their impact to get people to take action and to be effective in their collective powers of persuasion.  These team members include people like Jeff Wellman who made a splash in the internet marketing world in the last year or so.  They were exposed to experts in many areas of impact such as publishing, media, social networking and so on.  Author Brendon Burchard, who also gives inspiring advice to businesses and non-profit organizations, was present. 

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        A big controversary in the last year or two regarding pharmacists or store owners refusing to sell certain products.  It has once again come to the table of public opinion as many pharmacists are refusing to sell items such as condoms, alcohol, cigarettes, pornography, birthcontrol, etc.  Some people are outraged that they are being denied the convience of purchasing said items at the stores of their choice. 

           What is your opinion about this issue?  Should owners of their own business be allowed to decide what they want to sell to the public?  Should customers complain, patronize the competitor, or sue to get what they want, where they want to get it?  What do you think about this subject.  Should a business owner be forced to sell something that goes against their religious beliefs just because the customer demands it? 

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        Do you know anyone who has gone through a divorce and lost friends?  Maybe you have gone through it yourself…you split from your spouse and not only do you lose family members, share custody of the children and pets, but….now…maybe you have friends that will choose sides and support their spouse of choice!

        Well, that is the way i sort of view the fight between duel celebs Denise Richards and Charlie Sheen.  It is turning into a battle royale; she said/he said.  The things that are being said of one another are ugly.  They are mean and they are vicious.  There is name calling and finger pointing and childish behavior…all in all…your typical divorce nightmare.

       Because both Denise and Charlie are actors they each have their share of “friends”.  The court of public opinion is gearing up for a doosey of a declaration of alliance.  No…the public really has no say in how the court decides in the custody battle for their children; however, both Denise and Charlie are making sure that we know their business.

       I have to say that in most peoples breakdown of marriages it is a long, lonely and painful time for all involved.  In the world of celebrity marriages sometimes it is hard to tell who is really hurting going through a divorce and who is just trying to influence public opinion with all of the PR spin-doctoring that is done.

         As far as Charlie and Denise go…i have to say that i think that like most families who go through a divorce it is the children who suffer the most.  However, i think that both Denise and Charlie are not blameless in the face that they are presenting to the world…it would be wise for them both to remember that someday their girls are going to be old enough to read and hear interviews that they each have done about their marital relationship before and after the divorce.

       With Denise putting her life on a reality show…it will all be there in full color for the girls to see and hear.  All of their hurts and anger will come through and influence their life choices.   Charlie has left a negative and bitter impression about his opinion of Denise in no uncertain terms.  He has allegedly called her vile names that most people would not choose to label women no matter how low of an opinion they have…he has allegedly called her very derogatory names and also racist names.  He even further lowered many peoples level of respect for him as a person by attacking Denise’s mother who was dying of cancer.

       Doesn’t Charlie know that many of his fans/viewers are people who’s lives have been affected by cancer as well?  How does he think that makes them feel?  It would be really a very healing thing if the judge in charge of their divorce would order them to go into family counseling; even if it was, just for the sake of their children!  Live your lives people and move on…time is short…don’t waste it on negative energy trying to get revenge on someone that you pledged your life and love to at one time!  Live and let live…give your children at least a minimum of respect for their other parent.

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         With Barack Obama getting the nod from the Democratic party on Tuesday evening as the Democratic nominee in the bid for the office of President of the United States…Oprah is celebrating.  She has said that she has been doing the happy dance all day.

         Oprah also allegedly said, she is ready to go door-to-door for Barack Obama if he so desired her to; which brought to my mind a vision of Oprah becoming a modern day salesman (woman).  Is Oprah starting a new career? 🙂

            Is she ready to start a new career as a pitch person for the political movers and shakers?  Her influence is quite powerful.   After all, Oprah has conquored the television talk show circuit, produces movies, she is a book club afficionado, and she is an advocate for initiating education; by planting a school for young African girls.  Oprah is a magazine owner… she is a successful business woman, as well as, an expert at branding herself in any area that she wishes to explore.  She is a smart woman…a beautiful woman… a seasoned business person; and, she connects with people in extra-ordinary ways. 

            She appears to accomplish what she sets out to do.  She definately did her best to bring attention to Barack Obama’s campaign.  Between television, her magazine, interviews and the campaign trail…Oprah definately has the platform to draw potential voters to the election process.  She also has a powerful impact in the areas that she makes a commitment to.  Oprah is nothing but passionate about the things that she chooses to spend time doing.

          People either love her or they don’t…but, most people do have an strong opinion one way or the other.  How will this opinion affect the vote for the President of the United States, come time for the actual election?  Time will tell.

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     I wonder how much of our success depends on our attitudes and our approach in life.  Really, think about any area of your life where you were stepping into untried territory….were your steps encouraged or discouraged by others.  Did you let it stop you or did it have the opposite effect ….did it motivate you to overcome?

       There is no end to others opinion’s when you are attempting something new.  Some people feel free to give “advice” ….really just their opinion most of the time.  Do we let that influence us? 

       I think quite often we do.  For some reason, we are tempted to give another person’s opinion more value than we do our own.  Why is that? (more…)

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