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Posts Tagged ‘parents’

Wow, that is a mouthful for the title of this blog post…but, it is what it says it is.  The National Association of Letter Carriers have committed themselves once again to their annual food drive.   They do this to help combat hunger.  In the last two years in the United States, more than 50 million people have found themselves living in homes that don’t have enough food.  This is outrageous, we can all do something to help.  No one should go hungry in a country that supplies other nations with food from our surplus produce that farmers work so hard to grow.

You may say, I am only one person…what can i do?  You can support the National Association of Letter Carriers help stamp out hunger by leaving a bag at your mail box, on Saturday May 14, 2011, with non-perishable food items.  That is only 2 days from now.   Make sure that the items you are donating are not out of date or in danger of expiring any time soon.   Don’t have a lot to give; give what you can.  If you are blessed enough to have the means to give…give generously; we all have a responsibility to share our blessings with others.

Support businesses and organizations that sponsor the annual Stamp Out Hunger food drive.  This is an amazing grass roots program that blesses your local food banks.  All the food collected by your local mail carrier stays in your local area.  The people you help may be your own friends, family or neighbors. With the economy being so challenging in recent years more people are affected by not having enough to eat.  The numbers of children in homes without enough food is rising.  The elderly are having a harder time making ends meet.  Young wage earners are finding themselves without steady income to support their families sufficiently.   Natural disasters have hurt many families and those people still need to eat.  Churches can’t do it all…they need our help to provide food for those who are struggling with hunger!  Won’t you help?

Would you like to learn more?  Visit their website here:  Stamp Out Hunger and if you happen to have a Facebook account or a Twitter account…then Like them or Follow them to lend your support.  Spread the work online and off.  Tell others about the food drive…encourage others to donate.

Remember to thank your mail carrier.  They are dedicated to helping people stamp out hunger in your community.   Do you know someone who has had to use food from a food pantry or food bank?  Tell them about my friend Connie who heads up a website that teaches people how to eat healthier with the food that they bring into their homes through SNAP, food pantries, commodities, and farmer’s markets.  She does this in a way to help people stretch their budgets and to encourage the people who visit her website to form a community to share tips and ideas with one another.  Her site isn’t just for food stamp users…but for anyone on a tight budget who wants and needs to eat well.  Food Stamp Cooking Club

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It is sad but true, bath salts have a genuine use for the body interested in health and wellness; but, bath salts are now being misused as a drug to achieve some sort of a high.  Bath salts are generally used as a body soak and exfoliant.  When used in this way, true bath salts (typically epsom salts mixed with fragrance beads and water softening agents) are a balm to achy muscles and dry skin. These are not dangerous!

However, there are products being labeled as “bath salts” that are powders packed in small tea bag sized envelopes and advertised as legal substitutions; merely to make money.  They are  being sold on the shelves of convience stores, truck stops and head shops all around the country; as well as online.  They are marketed as bath salts, when those who produce these products know full well that they are not being used for that purpose.

Those who produce, market or sell these items should be held accountable for those who have had their lives destroyed by their products. Their intended use is for individuals who are looking for a drug induced high.  Business selling them should be forced to removed them from their stores in my opinion.  In fact, some states & communities are banning their sales…but, we need to increase awareness of this issue; before the use of these products becomes more widespread. Continue reading: Write Where You Are

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      This subject is never a pleasant one.  No one likes to acknowledge domestic abuse is a way of life…especially if it is happening within their own life.  Unfortunately, domestic abuse happens every day in a multitude of ways.  It doesn’t just happen in the lives of the poor, the rich, or the celebrity world; even though, that is often the stories that we hear about…those who are famous.  We must awaken to the facts of domestic abuse; it is often learned behaviors that are used to control another person…either with intimidation, physical violence, emotional abuse or sexual abuse.

       Domestic abuse is like cancer…it is constantly trying to destroy the people involved.  It is a pattern of behavior that affect both the abuser and the person being abused.  Many who are being abused do not recognize that what is happening in their lives is actually domestic abuse.  The reasons for their lack of understanding, or denial are many.  (more…)

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        Today it was announced on Joel Madden’s bands website that he and Nicole are adding to their family.  Their daughter Harlow is going to have a younger sibling.  Having children who are close in age is good for the children; but, can be a little rough on the parents.   However, Joel says that finding out that they are expecting another child is better than an Oscar!

         With their daughter Harlow just over 1 year old and a second child on the way; one wonders whether they will get married?  Nicole’s adopted parents divorced when she was young so maybe that plays a part in not having legalized her relationship with Joel…but, there is no greater commitment than having a child together; so hopefully, they will get married soon.   Joel’s father, allegedly left his family and they struggled because of it.  So, maybe fear and trust are big issues for this young couple in love.

           God says that to those whom much is given, much is expected in return.  Both Nicole and Joel have had many blessings in their lives.  I like the fact that they started the Richie Madden Children’s Foundation to help children.  Joel also says that God has blessed his family.  I do wish since so many young people look up to them as role models that they would get married in the eyes of God so that they could realize the fullness of God’s blessings! 

        

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       Breaking news today that the infamous Sam Lufti who is Britney Spears former manager is suing both Britney and both of her parents; he is claiming that they have defamed him and claiming breach of contract.   Going back to last year when Britney was having the worst year of her life…the news was peppered with comments of worry relating to Sam Lufti’s relationship with Britney. 

         Her parents were alledging that he had too much control over Britney and that he had allegedly confided in Britney’s mother Lynne that he gave her “medications”.   Britney was exhibiting behavior that had everyone concerned for her well-being and that of her children.   Britney’s father Jamie went to court and got legal control over Britney’s finances and business dealings; effectively removing anyone with suspected ulterior motives from unauthorized access to Brit’s money or to Britney herself.

        Sam Lufti is now claiming that Jamie and Lynne have combined efforts to lie about him and have used intimidation to remove him from Britney’s life.  I don’t think that the Spears’ have tried to hide the fact that they believe that Sam Lufti should have no contact with Britney; since they went to court to limit his contact with her.  They were very concerned about their daughter and did what they felt was best to protect her and guard her safety and emotional well-being.   Sam Lufti says he feels he had no choice but to file suit against them in their campaign to smear his name.   Britney, after being hospitalized twice and having her father take over conservatorship of her legal and business affairs has made a miraculous recovery.  She has regained the ability to visit with her children and to perform onstage before her fans with confidence, once again.

         Jamie Spears has again gone to the courts, recently, to file a restraining order because of what he says are attempts by Sam Lufti and others in regards to the   harassment of  the Spears family.  I would presume that they would have evidence to back up that claim, or he would not have gone through the inconvience and cost of going to the court to file charges.  

     The timing of this latest difficulty for the Spears family comes close to the beginning of Britney’s new tour which is scheduled to begin next month.  The tour promises to make lots of money and I would not be surprised if  Sam Lufti, as her former manager, feels that he would have been benefitting from the profits of such business dealings; if he had not been removed from contact with Britney Spears.

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       Today news reports say that scientific data collected from the suspect in the murder of Arkansas anchorwoman Anne Pressly confirms the investigator’s belief that the suspect, Curtis Lavell Vance, is guilty of assaulting her and murdering her.  The DNA that they collected from Mr. Vance is also linked to another woman’s rape in April.  Investigators allegedly are 110% convinced that they have the right person in custody!  You have to be pretty sure of someone’s guilt to make that kind of statement.  The authorities must have plenty of evidence to make such a claim…the rest of us will have to wait for that information to be released during a trial of the suspect to have complete understanding.

         Anne’s parents have been speaking out during the six weeks since her murder.  Today, they said that there is evidence that she was also sexually assaulted.  They may want to be careful about what information that they put out for public consumption; they don’t want to give ammunition to the defense of the person who is finally brought to justice for the murder of their daughter.  

       After all, if they get a conviction they will not want it to be overturned on a technicality…they will want that person to pay for murdering their daughter.  Still, in all honesty, it must be extremely difficult to keep quiet when every fiber of their being is probably are calling out for the whole story to be heard and to get justice.  Their emotions as Anne’s parents must be terribly powerful; I know it must take tremendous courage to look upon his face and not want to get revenge.  I know they are Christians…however, their human emotions are subject to extreme ups and downs just like anyone else.   Peace to those who knew her and loved her; and, to the woman who was assaulted in April. 

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       Baby don’t cry…it is not your fault.  When you are old enough to know your story…know that it is not your fault.  It has happened for generations…people abandon their children.   It is wrong, but they do it for many reasons…all sad reasons, all heartbreaking…but, what it comes down to is a lacking.

        A lacking of something that is required to parent you little one.  Some parents are lacking money, some are lacking appropriate housing or clothing, some are lacking parenting skills.  Even worse, some are lacking a very basic, important connection…a bonding of parent to child; it is called love.  This is not normal.  This is not your fault.  The lacking is theirs and theirs alone; don’t let it define you.  Their failure to provide what you need does not wipe away your right to have those things that children need to grow and be whole.   You deserve to have what every child should have…love and acceptance. 

       There are many who would adopt you; love you and give you everything you need to be successful in life.  It is sad that your birth parents could not for whatever reason of lacking, be the people to give you what you need.  However, when you are able to read and understand it all…hopefully, you will have been adopted and cared for appropriately.  I hope that you received that love; and, now know that you are part of a family who wanted you, and needed you to be part of them.  The parts of you that feel empty or unfulfilled, because of the unknowns about your birth family, probably will never be fully satisfied.  Let it be enough to know that the circumstances that lead to your being abandonned are not a statement of anything that was wrong with you as a person.

         A small newborn child was abandoned in Charlotte, North Carolina in the last few days.  Children are being abandoned all around the world.  There are many who would love these children were they to enter into the foster/adoptive legal system in the right kind of way.  Why are parents dumping their children?

        When you are able to read this, or some other piece that addresses such issues…and  you have learned about your abandonment; don’t try to seek further information.  It will only hurt you more.  There are no answers that will satisfy your heart’s desire to be loved and accepted by the people who gave you up.  For each answer that is given to justify such actions will just trigger another “what if you had done this or that…could you have kept me then” question.  It is a never ending circle of emotional hurt.   

        It is not a reflection upon you…babies and children are easy to love.  You have done nothing wrong to be rejected…it is a fault inside of that person that by some miracle was able to give you life.  Unfortunately, abortion (infant death) is an option in today’s world..so, choosing life was a very positive thing.   Maybe that is the most that they had to give you; LIFE, it IS an important gift. 

       Your true source of life comes from God above.  You are here in this world because he values you…you are here for a purpose.  Discover what your purpose is and live it to the fullest…do not be destroyed by feelings of rejection or inferority.  You are worthy of all the best that life has to give you.   Your beginnings do not have to set a  negative standard for the rest of your life.  Take your gift and all that you have been able to receive and enjoy since the time of your birth and make something of yourself.  Be a giver, be an encourager…be the embodiement of what your birth parents lacked.  Be a giver and a receiver of Love.  Do you think that the impact of your birth can make a positive difference in the world?   I do, every life has value to offer the world.  Reader, do you know someone who has been rejected or abandoned…were they able to turn their difficult beginnings into a positive, productive life?

      

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        Another family has made the news by dropping off their children, 9 of them from ages 1 to 17 at a hospital in Nebraska.  It is in my mind, in cases of abandonment, almost as if the children are treated like a litter of unwanted puppies.  In mid July, Nebraska made its own news headlines by instituting a “safe haven law”. 

         Most states in the US have some sort of a safe haven law which is designed to protect children who are either unwanted; or, in unsafe environments regarding living conditions, or in situations of neglect or abuse.  The safe haven laws are meant to allow a safe place for children to be left such as a hospital or a fire station.  What is unique about the new law in Nebraska is that it doesn’t clarify who has the authority to drop off said children…it could be a baby sitter, grandparent, parent, neighbor or what have you.  Another important point, most of the states that implement safe haven laws usually are set up to protect infants.  Nebraska made headlines by not limiting the reach of the safe haven laws to infant only drop offs…it basically says “minors”…leaving the new law open to interpetation.

         The courts will have to clarify the definition of the safe haven law so that the protection of the children and the people who abandon them is more clear.  At the moment, anyone under the age of 19 is allowed to be dropped off in a safe haven.  There will be no legal repercussions as long as abuse or neglect is not involved.  In some ways, this may help those situations where we read about newborn infants born to teen mothers who are dumped in a garbage can or left outside alone.  Maybe in those cases, some children will be saved…but, this new law opens up a whole new set of issues regarding children and their families.

         I know that the law was set up in good faith…to protect the children.  However, you have to wonder about the psychological damage to those same children who are old enough to understand that they have been abandoned by the people most trusted in their lives.  An infant does not comprehend the abandonment until they are older and the information is presented to them…an older child certainly does understand the idea of abandoment and there certainly will ensue emotional and psychological damage.  However, i will say an infant may not understand the full scope of abandonment; but, that doesn’t mean that they aren’t affected by it; when they are affected, it is often called an attachment disorder…where the baby has trouble bonding with their caregivers, either giving or receiving love…sometimes, it is even turned into a failure to thrive.  All human beings deserve to be loved and wanted.

         Studies have been done on babies or infants who have been abandoned in other countries and left in orphanages…if they do not get enough human interaction that shows love or caring…those children can actually die from the lack of human, loving touch.  Don’t think that when an infant is dropped off, even at a safe haven…that they won’t know the difference between being wanted and unwanted.

         People who find themselves in desperate circumstances may be tempted to go the route of the safe haven in a moment of extreme duress.  However, the long term consequences make me wonder whether this is a viable option.  People who abuse or neglect their children willingly or freely are not going to be so very concerned about making sure that the place they abandon their child is considered a safe place.  It would be better to put into place programs that facilitate helping families who are in danger of imploding. 

         Not to mention, those parents or caregivers who are feeling desperate…say…in a financial crisis…they can’t afford to feed or house their children…may think that this safe haven is an option for them.  The consequences of such an action could be considered permanent…even if their circumstances change in time.  Their custody could be forever impacted by that one moment of temptation to abandon the children in a safe place. 

         I wonder if other options are being given as much media & legal attention, such as making a short term placement with social services; for short term foster care in cases where, say a housing or financial need is threatening the ability to keep a family together? 

          Children aren’t like litters of animals…not that animals should be abandoned either!  Being a pet owner or a parent is a huge responsiblity…the demands are serious.  People should not enter into the role of a pet owner or parenting without alot of thought!  Parents need to take their commitment to parenting seriously. 

          If a parent is considering abandoning their children…wouldn’t it be better to work with an agency and make a permanency plan such as adoption?  Definately, if that were the case, doing it in infancy is better than waiting until a child is old enough to be scarred by an emotional and physical abandonment by their parents or caregivers.  At least by making sure that the child/children were placed in a safe and loving home…a child would have a chance to grow up and to be nutured in a loving environment. 

          No one should ever be made to feel unwanted, unloved or unprotected.  Abandonment leaves permanent scares that impact their young lives and often, other generations of lives as well.  What are your feelings on the safe haven laws?

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       There was a recent news story that did much to anger those who work with women who have been “date raped”.   Helen Mirren, a British actress, who won awards last year for her portrayal of the Queen, did an interview with GQ in which she claimed to have been raped several times, many years ago, when she was a student.  Helen is 63 years old now. 

         The reason some people have been upset with Helen, over that interview, is that she seemed to down play the experiences.  She said there was no extreme violence, she was not hit…but rather, was locked in a room and made to have sex.  She did not file charges in those incidents.  She also said that if a man and a woman were about to get intimate and the woman changed her mind, and the man continued; that was indeed rape.  However, in that circumstance; she didn’t feel that a woman could then turn around and take that man to court for it.  Those are highly controversial remarks when taken individually or out of context.  To some people…those comments smack of judgementalism…that those situations aren’t worthy of prosecution of a person who sexually assaults another.  Those comments appear inflammatory to many folks.

         Most people are clear that if a stranger attacks another person and forces sexual relations…then that is rape.  It is true enough…it is.  But there are other forms of rape as well that aren’t as clearly defined for some people. (more…)

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        A family from Israel made news over night by leaving their three year old at the airport.  Remember the old movie, Home Alone, where the parents are bustling around trying to catch an airplane with all of their children and belongings?  Well, this case seems to mimic the movie to a degree.

         The family was running behind trying to catch a plane to Paris for a vacation.  The parents and their five children were hustling, they made it…well, most of them anyway.   Eighteen pieces of luggage and four of the five children boarded with the parents; the fifth child was left behind without the parents realizing it.  She had to be full of fear.  A little over half of an hour into their flight they were informed by an airline employee that they left their three year old daughter at the Ben Gurion airport in Israel. 

         I can’t begin to imagine the terror of that.  Anytime i leave home for an extended period of time…i torture myself going over the thousands of things that i imagine that  have been forgotten!  Their daughter was found by a policeman; but, it was too late…the parents and siblings had left on the plane.

       The family reunited when an airline employee and the child took another plane to Paris.  No doubt that when they return the family members will be questioned about the incident…they could even face charges of neglect or abandonment. As long as it was an accident and not a purposeful child endangerment; hopefully, further trauma will be avoided by not pressing charges. Thank God the child is safe.  I would imagine that when they fly home they will have some sort of safety, buddy system procedure in place to prevent another terribly scary incident.

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