A Mother’s Heart Enlarges To Hold More Love-Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day is one of those holidays that is bittersweet for many people.  All women aren’t mothers. Some individuals don’t have mothers that they remember fondly or as a mother that deserves kudos for the life she has lived. Their are birth mothers, foster mothers, adoptive mothers and mother like figures.  Some of those mothers are great mothers and natural at nurturing and some mothers have issues like addictions, or emotional problems…

That being said…even those mother’s have something for which to be remembered and that is for bringing their children into the world.  At the most basic level…giving life is something to honor; since not every woman who discovers she is pregnant makes the choice to give birth to her child.  If you had a mother who only functioned at a bare minimum, then I hope you had another woman who filled a mother- like role in your life, encouraging, teaching, praising and loving you; someone to step in and protect you.  Acknowledge that person on mother’s day and don’t let the negative emotions in regards to whether a birth mother was mother of the year or not; choose to celebrate love.

I’ve been blessed and I want to take a moment to celebrate love.  A few years ago, we were told that my mother had an enlarged heart.  This was traumatic as my mother was/is one of those women who loved and encouraged her children as we grew up.  She continues to do this.  Now her medical condition has been treated with medication and close monitoring; we are grateful for that.  However, it got me to thinking about mothers who love deeply.

I thought about the changes that happen when a woman is pregnant.  Her emotions change, her mind changes as she makes decisions that she feels are the best for her and her child.  Hopefully, she has a loving and supportive mate to help her as she parents her child…not everyone does.  A pregnant woman’s spirit changes too…she has to think beyond herself and how the life of the child she carries will be influenced by the choices she makes in life.  Finally, her body changes…oh you know the usual: weight gain, swollen ankles, varicose veins…hemorrhoids…headaches and cravings.  The important change I think for a woman who really wants to be a mother, is that her heart enlarges…it makes room for more love than you can imagine a heart to contain.

That love is what builds a life that can withstand problems, challenges, and negativity that is sure to come their way as they live their lives.  That love is what opens the door to the good things in life that are meant to be enjoyed and nurtured.  That love is what keeps the human race continuing.

I think mothers who chose to love and are loved in return should be celebrated.  If you didn’t get that, from the luck of the draw, at the moment of your conception & birth…you can still find it. Everyone wants and needs that kind of love in their life.  Be sensitive towards those who you know have a hard time at this time of year due to abandonment issues, abuse, neglect or due to the death of their mother figure.  Be a role model and encourage those who are sad or lonely or feeling cheated in the mother department.

This world is full of women who have enlarged hearts and are willing to share them.  Find someone to celebrate the good things in your life with.  Whether it be as a sister, a friend, an auntie, a grandma, a daughter…a teacher, a neighbor or a pen pal; a mother’s heart can be found in a multitude of relationships.  Let yourself love and be loved.  Don’t let a broken biological accident of birth scar you into a negative mother’s day.  Find someone who can share an enlarged heart with you…and give & receive the best that life has to offer…a truly wonderful Mother’s Day!

Advertisement

Read Full Post »

PG-Parental Guidance or Pregnancy?

This weekend was certainly an eye-opener for me regarding teen activities when parents aren’t around.  I work with youth all of the time, I am the parent of 6 children-three of which are adults and three are under the age of 18.  I took my younger three children, plus 3 ten year old girls to the movies with my husband to celebrate the 10th birthday of my youngest child.  I took them to a family movie-a PG movie.  It should have been safe right?  Wrong!

The movie was fine…don’t get me wrong here…the problem was a couple of audience members.  We were seated in the back of the small theater because of the size of our group…there were 8 of us.  We were spread out because the teens didnt want to sit with mom and dad (of course) and the girls didn’t want to sit with the teen boys (of course) and so we took up the end seats of three rows.  A group of three teens approached my  teen boys, who happened to be in the last row in the back, and asked them if they would mind moving down to the end the line.   They did move with no fuss.  There were two girls and a boy; no parental guidance, I might add.

As the movie began, so did the engines of one of those girls and the boy.   Right from the get go, it was obvious why they wanted my sons to move farther down the line and to the inside wall of the theater.  They were not interested in the movie shall we say.  They were there for one reason only…even though they had a chaperone…a female of about the same age.  What age is that, you may ask?  Well, they appeared to be all of about 12 or 13…at the most 14 years of age.   Understand what I am saying here…they were approximately two to four years older than the birthday girl and her friends.

Read Full Post »

Nicole Richie Adds To Her Family

        Today it was announced on Joel Madden’s bands website that he and Nicole are adding to their family.  Their daughter Harlow is going to have a younger sibling.  Having children who are close in age is good for the children; but, can be a little rough on the parents.   However, Joel says that finding out that they are expecting another child is better than an Oscar!

         With their daughter Harlow just over 1 year old and a second child on the way; one wonders whether they will get married?  Nicole’s adopted parents divorced when she was young so maybe that plays a part in not having legalized her relationship with Joel…but, there is no greater commitment than having a child together; so hopefully, they will get married soon.   Joel’s father, allegedly left his family and they struggled because of it.  So, maybe fear and trust are big issues for this young couple in love.

           God says that to those whom much is given, much is expected in return.  Both Nicole and Joel have had many blessings in their lives.  I like the fact that they started the Richie Madden Children’s Foundation to help children.  Joel also says that God has blessed his family.  I do wish since so many young people look up to them as role models that they would get married in the eyes of God so that they could realize the fullness of God’s blessings! 

        

Read Full Post »

Enabling Or Supporting The Mother Of Octuplets

       Surely you have heard the news about the mother in California who gave birth to eight babies this past week; she already has six children; they are all under the age of 8.  The mother, Nadya Suleman, conceived all of her children by invitro fertilization.  She is unemployed and living in a three bedroom home with her parents.  There are so many questions about how an educated woman, could allow herself to get in this position of having 14 children with little or no support.  Many are questioning the ethics involved in allowing a single woman with 6 children and no job to get invitro fertilization in the first place; let alone, get implanted with 8 embryos.

         Part of the conflict is that people are wondering how did she come up with the money for the invitro for any of her pregnancies?  That is not cheap…let alone to have it done so many times.  Also, it is not normal procedure to implant so many embryos for one pregnancy.  Even when 4 or so embryos are implanted…it isn’t expected that all would become viable babies.  That is amazing in itself that all 8 would be viable and born.

        Now, the woman is living in a home with her parents with only three bedrooms.  There are already 6 children in the home.  Where will these babies live when they come home?  Nadya’s father is a contractor who works overseas and probably wont be around to help and the media has been reporting that Nadya’s mother is threatening to leave the home when her daughter comes home from the hospital.  She says that her daughter has been obsessed with having children her whole life; and, at some point received counseling for that obsession. 

     Nadya’s mother is saying that she is leaving.  So, that must be hard for her to even think about…but by staying would that be considered enabling her daughter or supporting her?  At this point, the babies are already here…they have been born.  The mother says that Nadya is out of embryos so that her obsession will have to end.   I think that is a good thing. 

         The question is…if Nadya truly has an obsession…why wasn’t that dealt with before this latest pregnancy?   Will the department of human services get involved to ensure that all 14 children are being cared for properly?  Will a social worker be assigned to the family to co-ordinate some kind of system to make sure that everyone is doing what needs to be done to support this family?  Who will pay for that since Nadya doesn’t work and her parents have filed for bankruptsy within the last couple of years?  The state of California, where she lives, certainly can’t afford to pay for that. 

         The medical expenses alone for this pregnancy will be astronomical.  Babies born prematurely will have huge medical bills from the birth and caregiving alone…not to mention possible life-long disabilities that they could face.  I heard, dont know if it is fact, that one of the older children has possible autistic tendencies.  That too, would be a big financial concern.

         All 14 children were allegedly fathered by the same sperm donor.  Does he bare any legal, financial, or moral responsibility?  Do you think he knows about the children…or do you think it is an annoymous sperm donor?  If he knows about the children…should he be legally forced to help provide physical and financial support?

          News programs were speaking today about the possibility of Nadya selling her “story” to Oprah’s show or maybe even Diane Sawyer for ABC news for something like $2million dollars.  Do you think that is appropriate or inappropriate?

           I at first thought…that is not cool.  She should have to work to provide for those children herself.  But then, reality set in…child care fees alone would take every penny that she makes; and she would still be a drain to the tax payers.  Not to mention…who in their right mind would take the responsibility of providing care for 14 children, all at once?  Another thing, if she was working round the clock to provide for them…she wouldn’t have any time to dedicate to the emotional needs of her children.  If she can’t make money from her “story” then…she would just be another single mother who supported her children from the money the rest of us tax payers pay in…and that is definately not ok with me. 

         As much as I dont like the idea of selling her story to the highest bidder…it is the lessor of two evils.  I dont think the American public (or California tax payers) should foot the financial or medical bills of that family.   Children are a blessing…i do believe in pro-life values.  However, this was a definate abuse of  the system to create a family.  Not the invitro itself…because i think that does provide an avenue for many families who have trouble conceiving children.  However, she already had children…she was not supporting them herself.  That was already a drain on her family and the tax payers assumably.  I do think it was unethical of whatever medical clinic that provided it’s fertility services to her, in her situation. 

         But, on the other hand, once they did enable her to conceive…I heard that she was offered selective termination of some of the fetuses to offer them a better chance of being born without difficulties.  I am glad that she did not terminate any of the babies…because i believe that is murder.  It is a terrible no win situation…but , life is life…and whatever she is able to do to legally support those children should be done.

         I do think if she is indeed offered a large sum of money…she should be court ordered to repay the tax payers for any support or monies that she/her family has received from the tax payers as no one else had the choice about how many children she chose to bring into the world.  I truly would be surprised if some reform or investigation is not performed to question the medical and legal ethics of this situation.  What are your thoughts on this story?

Read Full Post »

Giver of Life

       Got a call for a prayer request today for a young woman, recently married, who is 5 weeks pregnant and having severe pains.  Of course that is never good when you are expecting.  In the last several months, we have known several women who are expecting who were in the same situation.  Their pregnancies were in jeparody. 

         My own daughter has been in that situation twice now.  It is a fearful thing to have to be on bedrest….trying to buy more time for the child in the womb…just to get them to a safe time in the pregnancy to be born.   God is the giver of life…and he is the protector of life.  We dont know the mind of God regarding these things.  But, it is a miracle that from the time that the mother is aware of the life inside her…she has the ability to bond with that child; sight unseen.   Why are some children conceived and are miscarried or lost shortly after birth?  I don’t know.  Why are some people allowed to carrying a child to term only to abandon it or abuse it?  I don’t know.  Why is it that some people who desperately want a child are denied the opportunity due to infertility issues?  I don’t know.  Why are so many babies lost to abortion?  I don’t know.  Why are some children unwanted?  I don’t know. 

         I have pondered the mysteries of such issues when my husband and I lost two pregnancies ourselves.  Those are questions that we just don’t know the answers to at this time.   All I know is that God loves us and wants the best for us.  I pray for this young woman and her child…I know the fear and anxiety.  I also know that she wants to bring this child into the world.   Let’s hope that she gets to greet this child at his/her moment of birth and is able to give thanks to the giver of life!

Read Full Post »

Obsession With What Lies Within

      Once again the news has been covering a recent trend of crimes regarding an obsession with what lies within; another woman has been found dead after having her baby cut out of her womb.  This scenerio has been happening all too frequently over the last decade or so…women being killed for the babies that they carry inside of their wombs.  It leaves a terrible legacy of emotional difficulties for family and friends not to mention the child; if it miraculously survives the amateur delivery.

          In many of the cases, the women who do the killing have had an obsession with having a baby or being pregnant; often they have tricked those closest to them into believing they are pregnant and about to deliver.  Then, after they have stolen an infant, they try to pass it off as their own birth child. 

Read Full Post »

Mom…Grandmother Of The Year…NOT!

        This was a very sad state of parenthood to learn about.  It seems that a woman in Georgia found out that her teenaged son and his underaged girlfriend were expecting a baby.  Mom or grandmother decided that they weren’t ready for parenthood.  She took it upon herself to contact the girlfriend and convince her NOT to tell her parents about the pregnancy and to have an abortion.  She alienated the girls parents right to love, support, and guide their daughter during one of the most important decisions she would ever make in her lifetime. 

        The boys mother, Cindi Cook, forged a note saying she was the girls mother and gave consent for the abortion.  A judge said she was guilty of interferring with child custody and of breaking the parental notification law regarding abortion.  She will be in jail for a year now because of the guilty verdict.  There may be repercussions for the clinic involved as well; since they allegedly didn’t follow through and verify Cindi Cook’s claim of parentage of the teenaged girl. 

Read Full Post »

Rape Kits-Annoymous Collections

         A new way of collecting physical evidence in rape cases is making news.  It seems that many rape victims are leaving the medical setting; rather than, face another trauma of talking to; or, being interviewed by police after being raped.  They are too frightened in some cases of dealing with the police; some are fearful of talking to police for a variety of reasons such as possible drug/alcohol use at the time of the attack.  Many victims are worried about revenge violence for reporting the assault.  Some of the victims are young and don’t want their friends/parents/or significant other to find out.  Some rape victims just can’t deal with one more thing, that is out of their own personal control.

           So, the newly titled, Jane Doe rape kits are being offered; the evidence is collected by a specially trained nurse/doctor; and no name is put on the sealed envelopes…only an identifying number.  This way, when and if, the victim is ready to file a police report the evidence is still available.

           States are going to be required to offer the Jane Doe kits starting in 2009.  The kits are expensive; about $800.00.   It will be left up to the states which locations will have the kits available.  This way of collecting evidence just may improve the reporting of rape crimes.  In 2006, before the Jane Doe kits have become more commonly, available…it has been estimated that less than half of all rapes have been reported.  That also means that victims who may have been exposed to Sexually Transmitted Diseases aren’t being tested or treated.  Pregnancies can occur if too much time passes without medical care and of course, unless they seek it out, oftentimes, counseling or support services aren’t offered because the medical/legal profession would not be notified of the attack.  The Jane Doe kits have some definate positives…but what about other issues?

          Some of my questions would be…how long does the evidence, kept in storage, last?  How long would a victim have, before that evidence was no longer viable? The physical evidence and the photo’s collected at the time, in the Jane Doe kits, would still be helpful…but, what about a victim’s documented memories? 

         Would a legal team be able to tear apart a victims testimony in court; if, some extended time passed before a police report was made and documented?  Would their testimony of events be questioned due to a time lapse between the actual rape, identification and prosecution of a suspect?   Could the questioning of a victim’s memories of the rape be called into question; giving the legal representatives an edge in getting the charges of the suspect dismissed?  These are all important questions, as it would be horrible to go through such an experience; only to have it all dismissed, after summoning up the courage to actually file a report and go through the legal process.

         What do you think about the Jane Doe kits for rape victims?  Do you feel they will be helpful or harmful to prosecuting a case against a suspect? 

        

Read Full Post »

It’s A Two-fer For Angelina And Brad

          In a publicity promo for her new movie…Angelina and her co-star Jack Black were sitting side by side when Jack let it slip out that Angelina is pregnant with twins.  Angelina confirmed this impromptu announcement. 

           Angelina and Brad have been under a close eye by the media about this pregnancy.  It was never formally announced; but, in a public appearance in January for the Screen Actor’s Guild she wore an outfit that caused speculation about her being pregnant.

         She has been hounded by media over time about pregnancies and suspected pregnancies…but as in most things…time reveals what is true.  It has been rumoured that she has been having a difficult or uncomfortable pregnancy.  Leave her in peace…pregnancy is often difficult…so, to those who set about making it more difficult for her…leave her be.  It is taxing to bring new life into the world; even more so when you are carrying twins.  That doesn’t even take into account caring for the rest of her children, doing her work as an ambassador and filming as well as promoting her films.

         In any case, this pregnancy is a two-fer for Angelina and Brad.  Since they both have confessed to wanting a large family; it should come as no surprise.  They have the money to care for all of their children.  They spend alot of time with their children and they certainly are wanted. If every parent gave the amount of love and attention their children needed; it would be a better world. Let’s hope that as a family they will be allowed to live in peace and love.

        

Read Full Post »

Tearing Down of Miley Cyrus

       For the last few months…the party girls of the celebrity world have been toning it down.  When everything was so very out of control on the scandal sheets, regarding  Britney Spears, Lindsey Lohan, Paris Hilton and other’s; the papers started focussing on those with the good girl, role model image. 

         It seemed that they couldn’t wait to build them up; and, slyly they WONDERED IF MILEY CYRUS, and others like her, wouldn’t also soon be on the same path to self destruction.  Their headlines screamed a false concern about the future of those in the limelight; would they too end up on drugs/alcohol/addicted to sex, and the partying lifestyle?  Please, it is just a ploy to sell newspapers!

       Then last year, when Jaime Lynn Spears announced her pre-marital pregnancy…it was almost with glee, that they had another poster girl to shine the light on.  Now that Jaime Lynn has pulled back out of the glare of the press…Miley Cyrus has been moved to the front of the line for the tick tock of the self- destruction time bomb that the tabloid rags have been trying to promote.

       Last week, there were some photos put online that show Miley in her underwear.  She has apologized for those “inappropriate photos”.  Then today, there were some pictures taken by famed photographer Annie Leibovitz, for the equally famous magazine Vanity Fair, which Miley says, she thought were going to be “artistic” shots.  Even if they would have been purely “artistic” shots….why should a 15 year old be allowed to put it out there for public viewing?  Bad decision…someone should have put an end to the idea before it became reality.  Teens don’t always want to hear advice about what is right and wrong…but, still someone should have pointed out that this was a really, really, bad idea!

         Hello, where were her advisors, the ones from her family or from her show, to guide and protect a barely 15 year old girl from making such a mistake?  Was there no contract that gave her creative control over which pictures would be used; thereby, saving her from what she has allegedly described as “embarassment” over these latest pictures?  I have only seen one…and that picture shows her wrapped in a sheet with a bare back.  If a regular person took this kind of “artistic” shots…because of her age…it could be considered objectionable or suspicious by law enforcement.

        Who in their right mind would promote a 15 year old girl in such photos for a magazine?  What kind of message is that sending?  I mean come on…”artistic” is one thing…but, this is not an adult woman.  I think that there are some adults involved here who could have used better judgement. 

       I know that Miley Cyrus has been upfront about her faith guiding her footsteps. These types of decisions will not only hurt her professionally, but, it can also damage her testimony as a Christian.   No, she is not perfect…none of us are.  We expect her to make mistakes as she grows up just like the rest of us have; however, eyes are watching her.

        However, because she is NOT an adult…it would be wise if her management would make sure that she is better protected from those in the industry who would take advantage of her fame. If her advisors put their stamp of approval on this project…then maybe they need replacing.    After all, they allegedly allowed her to be put in this position by making an error in judgement regarding these photos.

Read Full Post »