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Posts Tagged ‘questions’

When life throws the worst it has to offer at you; it’s hard not to ask, Why God?  Why me, or my family, my friends…why must we suffer so?  Watching the news and hearing the evil that takes place, the violence, the intolerance, the hate, the cruelty…it pushes the emotional hot buttons inside of the human heart.  It is not that you wish those horrifying things to happen to another human being…but, surely anyone who has suffered deeply wants to know why they are suffering.  That is natural, don’t you think?

There must be an answer to help hurting hearts to understand, that what is happening to cause them pain, isn’t happening because they are a bad person, or for no apparent reason at all.  The mind and the soul just needs to make some kind of sense of it all.  Understanding tragedy is no easy task.  People have differing opinions on why bad things happen. If you would like to finish reading this post click here: Writewhereyouare

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      Denis Beaudoin who believes he may be the father of some of the children that Nayda Suleman (Octo-mom) gave birth to has gotten the ok to have DNA testing done to determine whether he is in fact the father of any of the children.  Nayda has 6 older children as well as the 8 newborn babies who made media history recently when they were all delivered alive. 

         Denis donated sperm to Nayda during the years that they dated between 1997-1999.  She told him she couldnt have children the traditional way because she had ovarian cancer.  They were in love at the time and wanted to have a child together.  They broke up eventually and went their seperate ways.  When he heard of these pregnancies and births…he immediately thought it was possible that he was the biological father.  Nayda denies that he is the father and has ok him having the DNA testing to prove that he is not.  Time will tell the truth about paternity.  If it rules Denis out…then the questions will begin again about who in fact is the father.  (more…)

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     For those who have not heard the news story this past week; a man by the name of Bruce Pardo dressed up as Santa and went on a shooting rampage directed at his ex-wife and her family.  He was aware that they held an annual Christmas party.  He had been planning this for quite some time.   About a week or so before the shootings took place…Bruce Pardo and his estranged wife,  Sylvia, were officially divorced after 2 years of marriage.  This man who dressed up as Santa, needed help.   If he had gotten it…maybe this tragedy would not have happened.

        It sounds as if  the Pardo’s marriage was one of deceipt.  Mr. Pardo had not disclosed to his wife that he had a child from a previous relationship that he did not see, nor did he help support.  It seems that when this child was a toddler in Mr. Pardo’s care; the child ended up in a pool and almost drowned.  The young child is now around the age of 7 ; but, Bruce Pardo kept this child a secret from his wife.  She discovered that the child existed by going through tax papers and finding out that he claimed the child as a dependent.  He denied the situation and Sylvia called her mother in law who confirmed that a child did in fact exist and was disabled.   She filed for divorce…he did not want it.

       It seems that during this time…Bruce also lost his job and then was ordered, by the court, to pay support to his soon to be ex-wife.  By all appearances…Bruce did his best to follow through on the court’s dissolution of his marriage….yet, all along he planned his revenge on the woman who divorced him and those who were closest to her and helped her to leave him. 

        Bruce rented two vehicles and he had things planned out.  He had an extra large Santa suit made up for him.  It seems that at the annual party, Santa always showed up.  He went to the home with a gift in his hand…when the door was opened by a young 8 year old girl…he opened fire, shooting her in the face.  He then went about shooting and looking for specific people.  After he shot the people he went looking for…he then used a homemade device to set the home on fire; inadvertantly causing himself 3rd degree burns when part of the Santa suit melted into his skin from the incendiary device he used to start the fire.

         People in the home had tried to hide and some were able to flee.  A sister of Sylvia’s escaped to a neighbors with the young 8 year old girl who was shot in the face.  She was able to call 911.  After starting the fire, Bruce Pardo shot out street lights…allegedly to help further his escape. 

         People are speculating that he had plans to shoot his own mother who was planning on attending the Christmas party, at her ex-daughter in laws parents home.  She felt ill that evening and was not able to attend.  Bruce blamed his mother for siding with Sylvia in the divorce.    Also allegedly a possible victim of violence was the divorce lawyer who represented Sylvia.  One of the rental vehicles was sitting near the lawyers home. 

        It appears that Bruce changed his plans after he was burned.  It is thought that he was in great pain.  He allegedly had purchased a plane ticket for Illinois to go there and cross the state line into Iowa to see a friend.  He also had about 17,ooo.oo dollars plastic wrapped to his body.   Instead of implementing those plans…he drove approximately 30-40 miles to his brothers home and broke in and shot himself dead.

         What is hard to understand is; didn’t anyone who knew him or had occasion to spend time with him, during the weeks preceding the violence, see his mental breakdown?  Was he so good at hiding his wrath that he was able to misleed the people in his life?  Or did he isolate himself a this time?

         Those familiar with the divorce situation say that he seemed almost eager to have it over with.  The neighbors say that he was friendly and even wished them a Merry Christmas after telling them he was attending a Christmas party. 

          People who knew him said he was a friendly guy.  They are shocked.  And yet, a close friend of Sylvia allegedly said that Sylvia said he changed almost immediately after the marriage.  He became secretive.  Others say that Bruce had a secret guilt about the child that was gravely injured on his watch.  The mother of the child allegedly says that he was involved when the child was in the hospital; but then…he didn’t visit nor did he support the child.  In fact, he kept the child a secret from many…including his new wife.

         The thing is…people who struggle with mental health issues dont always get the help that they need.  Bruce Pardo needed that kind of help to cope with the feelings that he had from the tragedy that happened to his child.  He needed support and counseling to heal up from the guilt that he most likely felt after the child was injured.  He needed to have pre-marital counseling to help him break the news of this part of his life to his intended wife. 

          Sylvia needed a husband who could share this past with her.  She needed him to seek marriage counseling when their marriage appeared to flounder shortly after it began.  She needed some indication that the man she married was deeply disturbed and capable of such violence.  She needed protection from the man that she fell in love with. 

          Experts will tell you that people who are in a state of flux…or life changes are often the most vulnerable for domestic violence.  This is a dangerous time when emotions are raw and assets or custody rights are at stake.  Passions are running high.  It should almost  be mandatory to have to have some sort of counseling to help people through the maze of emotion and legal wrangling that takes place.

          I can’t help but to think of those that lost their lives and those who were left behind to deal with the aftermath.  God help them.  The things that they saw and heard will live with them for a very long time.  And what about those who weren’t there; but, were directly affected such as Bruce Pardo’s mother or his brother.  What about them?  People need to pray for all of them.  They are not responsible for his actions…and yet, they are directly affected by them as much as Sylvia’s family and friends.  His brother…can you imagine…how will he ever be able to go back into his home?  He has to wonder…why did his brother come there to commit suicide?   His mother…she was obviously friendly with Sylvia and her family; how will she relate to the surviving members?  They are all hurting…will they be able to help support one another or will it be too painful for them to see each other?

          So many questions and so few answers.  The thing is…unfortunately…people who are depressed or going through trauma often don’t think past the moment, about the long term effects of their actions.  It is the survivors that are left to cope with both the questions and the answers.

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        This election has electrified American’s like no other election in my memory.  People have strong reactions to the ups and downs on the daily news.  The media’s interpetation of what is happening minute- by- minute in the run for the Presidency of the United States is very slanted in it’s presentation.  It gives the impression that one doesn’t even need to vote…that it is already a done deal…IT IS NOT!  Everyone who is able must vote.  Everyone has a voice and must use it to choose who they wish to represent them in the leadership of their country.

          It has been called everything from a very prettified “Historic Election” to “A Mess”.  From the outset of this journey…it was touted as an election to take notice of, be a part of and yet; once the Democrats chose their candidate…and the Republicans chose theirs, the battle lines have been drawn.  The media has all but declared a win for Barack Obama.

           Each candidate has claimed that it is time for change.  Most Americans couldn’t agree more with that; however, the last few weeks have been increasing in ugliness.  Citizens are not happy with the direction our country has taken in the quality of life, nor in the image that has been projected of Americans around the world.  That has to be addressed.  Add into the chaos of the multi national financial systems collapse, and the housing market crisis, and throw into the mix health care & job losses; and you should have a clear platform for a political candidate to voice their position and their solutions.  It hasn’t happened yet.  The candidates are too afraid of voicing their true position on the issues in fear of alienating some section of voters…so we are left to our own impressions of where the candidates stand.

          Part of the fear and anxiety in this country has been the lack of information needed to make an informed decision.  Questions have been raised about personal integrity, honesty and positions of faith.  Candidates can say what they want about the image that they try to project…however, actions speak louder than all of the words written for them by their well-paid speech writers.  The truth of who a candidate really is will eventually come out.  I just hope that each will reveal themselves before the actual election.  We are in real trouble when the media and celebrity spokespersons are the go to sources of information.  We only learn what they want us to learn. 

           Hate and violence should never have a place in American politics.  Let the candidates show and declare their true value systems and positions on the issues.  There is a huge movement that has building over the last decade or so, against people of faith who try to vote their values and who hold their political leaders to some level of positive role modeling.  Why is that wrong? In my opinion, it isn’t.  Standards of behavior should be based on an acceptable level to the people that the candidates represent.

           We have, over the years, removed God from our schools, we have demanded seperation of church and state, and some talk of taking that even farther by removing the “Under God” from our pledge of allegience.  There is even an organization dedicated to supporting non-believers in God or atheists in their candidacy; it is called, Godless Americans Political Action Committee.  They have a right to form their committee just as others have a right to question a candidate about their alliance to such an organization and how it will affect their position should they be election to a position of power.  Plain and simple; let the truth be known if you are associated with such an organization and let the voter’s decide whether you merit a vote or not; don’t hide your involvement and don’t lie to the people who you would represent if elected.

            Really, if you are a Christian…this election is about staking your claim for your personal beliefs and value systems.  Don’t vote in this election based just on your economic situation; or, on falling for the one liner…”we want change”….because…if you don’t vote your Christian values then you and the rest of the citizens of the United States are on a slippery slope.  Quality of life is in question as it is with all of the challenges to traditional religious views such as one man one woman marriages and standing up for family values.  If we allow our leadership to rest in the hands of people who don’t consider themselves accountable to a higher power or authority under God, then we really are in trouble as a nation.

            I don’t think that America is ready, willing or able to endorse Godlessness in our Political leaders; do you?

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        A family from Israel made news over night by leaving their three year old at the airport.  Remember the old movie, Home Alone, where the parents are bustling around trying to catch an airplane with all of their children and belongings?  Well, this case seems to mimic the movie to a degree.

         The family was running behind trying to catch a plane to Paris for a vacation.  The parents and their five children were hustling, they made it…well, most of them anyway.   Eighteen pieces of luggage and four of the five children boarded with the parents; the fifth child was left behind without the parents realizing it.  She had to be full of fear.  A little over half of an hour into their flight they were informed by an airline employee that they left their three year old daughter at the Ben Gurion airport in Israel. 

         I can’t begin to imagine the terror of that.  Anytime i leave home for an extended period of time…i torture myself going over the thousands of things that i imagine that  have been forgotten!  Their daughter was found by a policeman; but, it was too late…the parents and siblings had left on the plane.

       The family reunited when an airline employee and the child took another plane to Paris.  No doubt that when they return the family members will be questioned about the incident…they could even face charges of neglect or abandonment. As long as it was an accident and not a purposeful child endangerment; hopefully, further trauma will be avoided by not pressing charges. Thank God the child is safe.  I would imagine that when they fly home they will have some sort of safety, buddy system procedure in place to prevent another terribly scary incident.

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         I keep hearing about the differences of opinion about the identity of the people video taped in an intimate setting in the R. Kelly trial.  People keep questioning who is in the video.  The alleged principals in the film deny their involvement.  It reminded me of the old joke that says….that’s not me…that’s my brother from a different mother.  The joke is meant to be funny…this issue before the court is not.  An adult having a sexual relationship with a under-aged girl is illegal.

          The testimony about the young girl on tape is conflicting.  Friends, relatives and co-workers are in disagreement over whether the girl in question is the young girl that the prosecutors say it is.  Some say it is her and others say it is not; for the record…she denies that it is her.   That is important because at the time of the video, that young girl was approximately 13-15 years of age.  That is definately a crime.  It has been ten years and the young lady says it is not her on tape; R. Kelly also allegedly says it isn’t her (or him for that matter).

        R. Kelly says that it is not him on the tape because he has a mole on his back and the man on the tape does not.  A video expert allegedly says that yes there is a mole on the tape and that the video has not been altered.

        The background of the video is extremely familiar to those who knew him back then, as a room in the house that R. Kelly owned at that time.  The young girl was in his acquaintance in those years.  A friend of the girl has identified her as the woman on the tape.  She knew her quite well at the time that the video would have been filmed.

         Another witness says that she participated in a three way relationship with R. Kelly and the girl when she herself was 18 years old.  She also supposedly says that R. Kelly was never far from a bag that he carried full of video tapes of sexually explicit images.   Also, some have spoken of his often discussed, alleged, secret marriage to Aliyah ( deceased singer) when she was just 15 years old.

          The outcome of this trial is serious business…if proven guilty…R. Kelly could spend 15 years in prison.

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