Have you ever noticed that people who have an attitude of thankfulness in their heart are much more pleasant people to be around? That fact was brought home yesterday, when I knew that we would be surrounded with family who has that view on life. It is not so much that life is perfectly happy and content…it is an attitude of grattitude. Knowing in your heart that things can get better when they are not the way that you wish them to be. The future has a way of working itself out when living situations are not as you want them to be.
The point was driven home that it is a choice to experience life to it’s fullness by a phone call. It was a person who is going through a very difficult thing in life…divorce. He had called the night before and was very morose and abrupt. He SAYS that he called to wish us a Happy Thanksgiving. But it didn’t feel that way; and my husband was not available to talk to him till the next morning… on Thanksgiving.
So my husband calls him back to return the “good wishes” only to be greeted and treated to the same monotone voice that i heard. He was filled with despair. When wished a Happy Thanksgiving…he actually replied; “What is there to be thankful for?”
Then he said, that is why i called you yesterday; to AVOID the whole Thanksgiving Day thing! Then why call at all? Did he really mean it that he wished for us to have a Happy Thanksgiving or did he want to let us know, that while we were having a Happy Thanksgiving, he was miserable?
I asked him the night before what he was going to do on Thanksgiving after trying to support him through the short conversation; only to become disconnected on the phone. Or that is what i thought, until the next day when my husband experienced his phone call with this person. He too experienced a disconnect with him…co-incidence?
I don’t think it was…i think he was hanging up in his misery. That is sad, it is disturbing, it is heart wrenching. It was also angering; because, he does have much to be thankful for. He has a job, he has a place to live, he has children for which to be thankful for. The phone calls were a blantant bid for sympathy; and, an opportunity to dump his chosen mood of misery on other human beings. How we choose to live our lives is just that, a choice. You can “let life happen to you” or you can choose to wring every last joy or pleasure out of it while you have it.
It isn’t that we don’t care about the misery that he is going through in his divorce. But the truth is, that no one else can give you happiness or peace. You can’t put life on hold or it will pass you by…leaving you with a plate full of regrets!
Now there is more suffering. It is unavoidable at this point. There are two choices…to accept the ending and move forward…or wallow in the misery and resentment. This person still has children to be a parent to; siblings to have relationships with; and, the person is still young enough to learn from their mistakes and rebuild their life with another person, if he so chooses. This person is a good person. I wish for him happiness. I wish for him healing and joy in life. If i could box it up and give it to him…i would…but i am afraid…he doesn’t know how to accept it.
Life is short. We must approach it with care. Is life always going to give us what we want, when we want it, the way we want it on a silver platter? No. Can we still choose to live joyously and fully? Yes, i believe we can. Let’s help each other along by giving encouragement, when we are ALLOWED to!
Have you ever noticed that people who have an attitude of thankfulness in their heart are much more pleasant people to be around? That fact was brought home yesterday, when I knew that we would be surrounded with family who has that view on life. It is not so much that life is perfectly happy and content…it is an attitude of grattitude. Knowing in your heart that things can get better when they are not the way that you wish them to be. The future has a way of working itself out when living situations are not as you want them to be.
The point was driven home that it is a choice to experience life to it’s fullness by a phone call. It was a person who is going through a very difficult thing in life…divorce. He had called the night before and was very morose and abrupt. He SAYS that he called to wish us a Happy Thanksgiving. But it didn’t feel that way; and my husband was not available to talk to him till the next morning… on Thanksgiving.
So my husband calls him back to return the “good wishes” only to be greeted and treated to the same monotone voice that i heard. He was filled with despair. When wished a Happy Thanksgiving…he actually replied; “What is there to be thankful for?”
Then he said, that is why i called you yesterday; to AVOID the whole Thanksgiving Day thing! Then why call at all? Did he really mean it that he wished for us to have a Happy Thanksgiving or did he want to let us know, that while we were having a Happy Thanksgiving, he was miserable?
I asked him the night before what he was going to do on Thanksgiving after trying to support him through the short conversation; only to become disconnected on the phone. Or that is what i thought, until the next day when my husband experienced his phone call with this person. He too experienced a disconnect with him…co-incidence?
I don’t think it was…i think he was hanging up in his misery. That is sad, it is disturbing, it is heart wrenching. It was also angering; because, he does have much to be thankful for. He has a job, he has a place to live, he has children for which to be thankful for. The phone calls were a blantant bid for sympathy; and, an opportunity to dump his chosen mood of misery on other human beings. How we choose to live our lives is just that, a choice. You can “let life happen to you” or you can choose to wring every last joy or pleasure out of it while you have it.
It isn’t that we don’t care about the misery that he is going through in his divorce. But the truth is, that no one else can give you happiness or peace. You can’t put life on hold or it will pass you by…leaving you with a plate full of regrets!
Now there is more suffering. It is unavoidable at this point. There are two choices…to accept the ending and move forward…or wallow in the misery and resentment. This person still has children to be a parent to; siblings to have relationships with; and, the person is still young enough to learn from their mistakes and rebuild their life with another person, if he so chooses. This person is a good person. I wish for him happiness. I wish for him healing and joy in life. If i could box it up and give it to him…i would…but i am afraid…he doesn’t know how to accept it.
Life is short. We must approach it with care. Is life always going to give us what we want, when we want it, the way we want it on a silver platter? No. Can we still choose to live joyously and fully? Yes, i believe we can. Let’s help each other along by giving encouragement, when we are ALLOWED to!
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