Cancer Patient Bonding

       There is something special and unique about the bonding that takes place when people bond through their shared experiences.  Something that i noticed when my parents each went through their cancer diagnosis and treatment sessions…intense bonding with fellow cancer patients and their families.  That bond in those relationships was a lifeline at times.  The fear of the unknown, the medical traumas, the difficult side effects, the kindness of strangers it all blended to remind us that we were not in the situation alone.

         During hospital stays, during chemo treatments, and doctor appointments; my parents and other patients would share things about their families, about their experiences, their struggles, medical information, tips on how to overcome nausea, or how to cope with some of the side effects of the treatments.   Some patients were alone…they had no family or else their family members lived in distant places.  We would adopt them and visiting and trying to support when we could.   It was all very intense. 

        In what amounts to a, down in the trenches, fight for their lives; cancer patients bond in very intense ways.  When fellow patients would struggle…my parents would ask for prayer for them, from us.  We are blessed with a strong family unit.  We would honor the request …knowing that if we needed the favor returned…it would be given automatically by those same cancer patient friends and their families.   We were all in a fraternity; that none of us wanted to be in….but still, we were in it together.

       The losses hit hard.  The emotions were so deep for my parents and for our family.  Each loss, it was understood, could have been ours as well; but for the grace of God.  Each milestone was celebrated.  Waiting for the results of testing was, and is, filled with anxiety and fear.  It is no less worrisome to hear of others around the world who struggle with the same issues.  http://www.tnbcfoundation.org/tnbcinthenews.htm

Advertisement

Read Full Post »

Cancer is a Thief

        Well, another life was stolen by cancer.  Today, we found out that a person that we loved and admired was taken too young by breast cancer.  She was the mother of a young 3 year old son.  She was the wife of a strong upstanding positive man.  She was the teacher of my sons and so many others; and, she was and is a blessing to all who knew her.

         My heart aches because of the loss.  She was one of those people who just made such an impact on all who knew her.  I thought she was going to beat the aggressive disease…i really did.  She fought it with all she had and she didn’t dwell on negatives.   She got into a clinical trial and was making progress.  Through surgeries, chemo, radiation and prayer and faith…she waged the cancer war on every level.   Her battle was courageous and focussed on healing.  She truly engaged all of those around her with a positive energy.  I can’t tell you how much this world has lost today.  I know how much her friends, family and community has lost.

         Cancer is a thief…stealing so much joy, brillance, compassion, energy, laughter, sensitivity, education, potential, love, understanding…and the list goes on.  Help to fight it in your own way.  Donate money, donate time,donate your skills, donate your experience, donate help, donate your free time, donate your educational/research abilities…because, cancer doesn’t just steal from those who can afford to lose extra people in their lives, every life is valuable, cancer steals from us all.  See what you can do: www.cancer.org/ or www.relayforlife.org/ .  www.acscsn.org.   

Read Full Post »

Tortured and Tormented Teacher Retailiates…Against 5 Year Old

        A Kindergarten teacher in Indiana told a young 5 year old kindergartener, named Gabriel Ross, that he “tortured and tormented” her all year.  Young Gabriel kept telling his mother and step-father that his teacher was mean to him.  He said that other children didn’t like him because he was bad.  Who told him he was bad?  The parents were concerned enough that they sent him to school with a tape recorder in his pocket in April.

         On a four hour tape they were able to record shockingly hurtful comments that the teacher allegedly made to Gabriel; and about Gabriel, to the other students in the classroom.  She allegedly told him that he was “self-absorbed, pathetic and ignorant”.  These comments were supposedly made by a teacher with 13 years of experience.

          What i am wondering is; what other things had been said and done to humiliate this child during the rest of the school year; that didn’t get on tape?  Most schools start in late August or early September…this tape was made in April.  That is a long time to damage a young person’s self-esteem.  Most educators teach because it is their passion.  Those teachers teach with joy and skill…when they run into a challenging child…they try to find ways to reach that child and work with them.  If they can’t…at the very least…most will at least move the child to another classroom.

        If the teacher felt that this child was so out of control all year…why wasn’t she contacting the parents to get to the bottom of the issue.  After this tape came to light…the teacher’s association said that the teacher lost her cool.  But the things that were said and done, definately sound like someone who knew how to zero in and verbally annihilate another person’s feelings.  This venom was sounding as if it had built up from more than one difficult day.  Why wasn’t this teacher seeking help handling something that she felt was out of control all year long? 

        At one point, the teacher says that Gabriel is pathetic and that she hopes her words hurt him because he is hurting everyone around him.  Then, she goes on to say to the class…what do they think…is this somone that they want to be with?  Of course, the children all say…NOOOOOOO!   She very effectively made this child a pariah with his own classmates.    What the heck…who is the adult here? 

           How can you justify verbally attacking a child in your classroom?  If a child is out of control…you call in the school counselor, psychologist, principal, parents and evaluate why the child is acting this way. 

           Then depending on the results, you either find an effective way to discipline the child with appropriate boundaries; or you do some medical, psychological or academic testing to see what the problem is.  You find ways to figure it out without getting on the level that this “professional” teacher supposedly did.  There are lots of really good, skilled teachers who want and need jobs.  We dont have to settle for substandard teachers educating our children.

         In my opinion…this was a really horrible example of how not to teach our children. 

      

Read Full Post »

Sick of hospitals

       Got a phone call from the high school today regarding my 16 year old son.  The teacher said he was having a hard time breathing and had chest pains.  I tried not to panic and actually did well, considering that i knew the new medications he was on could be causing him a bad reaction.

Read Full Post »