Man Shoes- Book Review

Wow!  Can I just tell you what a joy it was to read, Man Shoes-The Journey To Becoming A Better Man, Husband & Father?  It is my privilege to review this book; I believe that the author, Tom Watson, has some real valuable wisdom to offer his readers.   Tom  was born to parents ill prepared to raise a child in a healthy & life affirming way.  He was placed into 13 different foster homes…some of which were little more than a systemic form of a physical & psychological torture chamber. 

Tom was placed into foster care because his Aunt Donna & Uncle Roy found the courage to report the erratic parental care that infant Tom was experiencing.  His parents would drop him off here and there and neglect to pick him up at the times that they agreed to.  At one year of age, he became a foster child because his aunt and uncle found the strength of character to endure family censure by reporting the situation to the proper authorities.  Tom expresses his gratefulness to them for doing so…even though he suffered greatly in multiple foster homes until he came to the place where his body and soul were nurtured.  His life story actually proceeds with joy and gratefulness.  To read the rest of this review go to:  Book In Review

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Carnage-Evil, Detached, Loners-Glorified Acts Of Violence

When are people going to wake up to the fact that we need to stop allowing instances of evil and violence to be glorified on television, movies, books and in our music?  Isn’t it obvious that the world has been turning this garbage into “entertainment” and that it is having a terrible influence on our society?  Today there was two distinctive situations that destroyed lives that is shockingly cruel in the fact that the victims of violence were totally innocent.

A nursing home in Carthage, North Carolina has 8 dead people , 7 residents and a nurse, because a young man came into the nursing home and started shooting at people.  The reason is unclear at this point.  It is alleged that his estranged wife works at this nursing home although that is not confirmed.   An unprovoked attack on innocent people that would have been much worse had it not been for the heroic actions of a 25 year old police officer who was able to stop the shooter.   While the news media covers these terrible bursts of violence…we must learn to carefully balance how these things are addressed in the media; so that they do not become gloried examples for those with similar thoughts.

Another equally upsetting situation; an ex-con attacks his sisters and kills two of them…one a five year old child on her birthday.  He kills his 17 year old sister by brutally stabbing her…then, he goes after the five year old and decapitates her as the police come in.  She is found near her birthday cake.     The nine year old sister had called the officers…some how she was stabbed as well; she is in the hospital with injuries.  Not only has she been injured, she lost members of her family and she has to live with the images of death and violence.  This brother was clearly a person out of control; it was alleged that he had some kind of a run-in with a neighbor the evening before as well.

We have people who dont know how to resolve their personal problems…committing violence and killing innocent people.  We have loners, and mentally ill people who do not get treatment.   Our economy is so tight that those who desperately need mental health treatment do not get it because of cost.  We need to seriously consider spending more money for preventative well-care programs for people at risk for such behaviors.

I would really like to see people stop supporting slasher/shoot them up shows and movies with their dollars.  These type of entertainments only serve to encourage those who are bent on venting their anger and revenge or for those who are mentally unstable on taking out their rage on innocent people.  How do you protect yourself and your loved ones from random violence?  It is impossible.   Is anyone else sick and tired of these things  happening in schools, shopping malls, nursing homes and colleges, etc?

I have moved to a new Url: WriteWhereYouAre if you are interested in reading more of my blog posts!

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The Secret To Overcoming Challenges

        I have been observing alot of situations in the news and in the events that happen around me…I’ve come to the conclusion that the secret in overcoming any challenges or events in life has to be in deciding not to let any circumstances or event define the rest of your life.  I think a person’s attitude or determination is the key factor.

        Have you ever known someone who has gotten stuck in life?  You know…the the type of person who just can’t seem to be able to get past a certain event, challenge or obstacle?  It is a person who dwells on all of the lost opportunities in life; any negative situations they have encountered, the after-effects or consequences from a trauma or difficulty that they have faced; events that have been a cross road in their life.  We all have them; so what determines who overcomes and who seems to be buried under a load of defeat? 

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Someone’s Going To Lose Their Job

      Today, pictures that show the trauma that singer Rihanna  allegedly suffered at the hands of her boyfriend singer, Chris Brown were released.  If it is true that these are authentic police pictures; someone is going to lose their job.   It is awful that someone could profit from providing this picture to a media outlet…whether they profitted for fame, for money, or purely for the ability to be in control over the picture.  When it is discovered, through the internal police investigation, who the person is who released it…they will instantly become a very unpopular person.  It must take a tremendous amount of lack of compassion and integrity to give yourself permission to profit from someone else’s pain and misery! 

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Death, Denial, Depression-Caylee Anthony’s Grandfather

      Another chapter to the sad story of 2 year old Caylee Anthony’s death.  Early this morning, Friday January 23, 2009, Caylee’s grandfather, George Anthony, was picked up at a Florida hotel after he disappeared and allegedly sent family members text messages saying that no longer wanted to live.  George also left a five page suicide letter apparently; I wonder if it will reveal information that could lead to the unraveling of the mystery of  Caylee’s death?  He was involuntarily was taken by police to a local hospital for evaluation. 

     All of this pressure has built up in the last year since young Caylee was reported missing and her body was, recently, discovered.  His daughter Casey was arrested for Caylee’s murder and both he and his wife has had to deal with Caylee’s death, family drama, invasive media, and his daughter’s arrest.  I am sure that the death, and his family’s initial feelings of denial of Caylee’s death, as well as the realization that she is gone has led to depression and a general overall feeling of being  filled with overwhelming stress.

       These issues are often overlooked by many when people watch the news…the truth is, that the long arm of the law has consequences for more than just the suspect in a case of murder  or criminal behavior.  There is much to deal with, for the friends and family members of the victims and the suspects who are involved.

     The emotional effects of just not being able to grieve properly for the loss of his grandchild is devastating.  First thing, no one knew for sure that Caylee was in fact dead.  She was missing and her mother Casey was telling conflicting stories.  George had to give information to the police at one time that many speculated was not all positive…that had to be a horrible experience for him.  There were search parties out looking for Caylee…this went on for months with little results.  Then there were alledged reported sightings of Caylee which turned out to be false.  In the meantime, the media was invading the Anthony’s personal space.  Conflict was a daily thing.

       George’s wife was giving interviews that alledgedly seemed to conflict with statements she made to the police and to her co-workers about a smell in Casey’s car…that smelled like a dead person.  That must have added to interpersonal problems in their family.  Their son, Casey’s brother, also was drawn into the fray with statements that he made that was reported in the media.  This is a family was that under a microscope.  Then came the confirmation recently that young Caylee’s body was found thrown away in a trash bag.

         The details of that are heartbreaking.  She was put inside of a laundry bag with a winnie the pooh blanket, with some pullups and with a knife…her little mouth was covered with duct tape that had residue from a heart shaped sticker put on the tape over her mouth; that tape was attached to her hair.  Her bones were scattered in the area where she was found.  This is a devastating thing to have to live with the knowledge that someone…maybe the child’s mother…could be capable of such depraved actions.  I am sure it was much more than most people could handle.

        The text messages that George allegedly sent to his family was an emergency cry for help from someone who is struggling to survive in a tidal wave of trauma.  I pray that he will get the help and the support that he needs to be well and whole. 

         Many people have made hurtful comments about the family members…we don’t know the facts of what actually happened.  Judging them and their actions without the full information is unwise.  Who in their situation could be faulted for handling things with imperfection…they have lost their granddaughter, their daughter is in jail for the alledged murder of their grandchild, they have had their lives turned upside down…including their home and privacy invaded…their children have been under the media spotlight…and they could possibly be charged with charges if they were, in any way, responsible for covering up evidence against their daughter.   That doesn’t even take into consideration yet…the nightmare that will be the trial that is coming soon. 

        This case has had many ups and downs.  It is still in the investigative phase and the court process has begun to build it’s case against Casey Anthony.  I truly hope that the grandparents are not involved in anything that could be considered a cover up by the authorities.  It is horrible enough to think about loosing their granddaughter and possibly their daughter to the legal system.  Let’s not forget that a child died…someone did in fact kill her, the truth needs to come out…and they will be dealing with that issue alone for the rest of their lives.  These are not issues that anyone gets over….overnight!

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Anne Pressly Suspect Alleged Linked To An April Rape

         For many reasons, all of the details about Anne Pressly’s murder case have not been released.  One thing to think about is when, and if, prosecutors actually get a suspect into court to begin proving their case.  What if that suspect cannot get an impartial trial because of all of the information out there that can influence a jury?  So, the authorities have held back much of the information relating to Anne’s murder.  I think that is only right.  It would be a double tragedy to have found the actual person responsible for her murder only to have a guilty plea overturned due to a technicality such as not being able to find an impartial jury!

        On the other hand, there is a suspect in custody now.  His name is Curtis Lavell Vance.  He has given a DNA sample that has allegedly been linked to a woman’s rape in April.  That DNA that he has given, also is allegedly linked to Anne’s death scene.  There really has to be a strong link for the authorities to take it to trial.  I don’t know what evidence the police have been able to obtain…and, neither does most of the people in the media who are commenting on it.

         As hard as it is…we have to wait for things to go to trial; if indeed this evidence is strong enough to take to a courtroom and get a conviction.  All we can do is hope and pray that if Mr. Vance is indeed responsible for either the April rape; or, for Anne’s murder, that he is held legally responsible and is removed permanently from the citizen population. 

          In any case, we can all pray for the woman who was raped in April; as well as those who have been affected by the murder of Anne Pressly.  When it is possible to remove offenders from the opportunity who commit violence upon another person; then, we must do everything in our power to make sure that those charges stick!  But remember, innocent until PROVEN guilty.  We all want to see the person who did these horrible things to these women pay the price; but, that doesn’t mean proven guilty in the public opinion…but, in a court of law.  We all deserve that and; Anne, and the woman who was raped, deserve to have a positive identification of the person who subjected them to such horror & violence!

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November Cheer

       November is here finally, I am glad for several reasons.  One, the election will be over and things will attempt to settle in the political world.  It will be traumatic for a time; no matter who wins, i am sure. 

       One of the other reasons i am glad…is that it is the first of November and it was near 60 degrees in Michigan and, it will remain in the 60’s during the day for most of the week…Yeah!  That is cool…often by October 31st we have seen our first signs of snowy weather; not this year, that is a blessing.  November begins the holiday season and kicks off spending family time together. 

        But, my November cheer just took a slight turn when i remembered how many days till December; not enough, and by December…we will definately have snow.  In the meantime, I have spent two days raking leaves…with many more days of raking to go.  There are still alot of leaves hanging onto the trees; and, i dont want to go out and rake them when the temperatures drop into the 30’s.   So, come on winds…knock them down so that i can rake in sunshine & warmth with a smile on my face…saying-how lovely fall is!

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When Your Safe Place Has Been Invaded

       For those of you who have been following the tragedy of the murders in Jennifer Hudson’s family and the kidnapping of her young, seven year old nephew; think about this, what happens when your safe place, your place of foundation has been invaded or attacked?  This family is going through a nightmare of epic proportions and because of fame, they are having to do it publically.

       Jennifer and her sister Julia have lost their mother, Darnell Donerson and their brother, Jason Hudson; and, Julia’s son Julian is missing.  This home that the murders took place in was Jennifer’s refuge from the crush of the world that she stepped into as a celebrity when her star began to rise from her singing and her acting over the last several years.

       The Hudson family was and is a family of faith.  Jennifer has said that she grew up in that home, that neighborhood and her home church.  It is an integral part of her support system.   It is part of who she is.  Her mother did not want to move when her daughter became famous…they didn’t want that celebrity to change who they were as a family.  Their home was the center of their family.  It was where all things sprouted for them.  Where they came to; to be together.  It was a safe place.  A place of nurturing.

        What happens now; other than trying desperately to get answers to where Julian is….and what happened to their mother and their brother?  Julia and Jennifer are on automatic pilot i am sure at the moment.  Trying to make sense of things…hoping and praying for the safe return of Julian.  But, their safe place has been invaded.

        How will they ever be able to look at that home and feel what they once felt.  Will it ever feel like home again?  Or will they always feel loss and hurt when they look upon the face of the place that has so many memories for their family.  What about Julian when he comes home…did that poor baby witness the murder of his beloved grandmother and uncle?  Will he ever feel safe there again?  Will he ever feel “at home” somewhere else?  What does this kind of trauma do to a human mind and soul? 

         Many people experience such traumas in their lives…it is something that can be overcome…but, it does shake the foundation of a person/family to rebuild that sense of trust and safety.  Please pray for the Hudson family…as well as, anyone else who has had to go through something so violent and traumatic.  Their faith in God will help them through this time.  However, they are human…and will go through much before they are able to recover and overcome.  Have you ever gone through a trauma that has made your safe place feel violated or unsafe to you?  How did you handle it?

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Breaking Musical News-Plane Crash…Travis Barker & DJAM

        Breaking news today of a plane crash last night about midnight that took the lives of four people in South Carolina.  Of those killed, two were crew on the plane, pilot- Sarah Lemmon 31 & co-pilot James Bland 52; and two were passengers, Chris Baker 29 & Charles Still 25.  We wish to give condolences to their friends and family.   Also involved in the plane crash is the famous DJ Adam Goldstein, known as DJAM; and, the ex-drummer of Blink-182 Travis Barker.  They had performed at an event on Friday night and were taking off from the airport when the crash occured.

         Travis Barker is a well known drummer who also was married to Shanna Moakler a former Miss USA and former contestant on Dancing With The Stars. He was known by his tattoos as well as his drumming skills.   He was involved in a rumored relationship with Paris Hilton, at one time, during his marriage which resulted in tabloid reports of cat fights involving his wife and Paris Hilton.  Shanna and Travis have had a rocky on again off again marriage and divorce.  They have two children together…Shanna had a child previously with Oscar De La Hoya.

          DJAM is an owner of the popular club LAX.  He has performed on musical albums for many artists and is well known as a disc jockey.  He was at one time engaged to Paris Hilton’s former best friend, Nicole Richie.  He has been romantically involved with other famous females such as Mandy Moore and Jessica Stam.

           Both Travis and Adam have been transported to a burn center in Augusta, Georgia where they are both listed in critical condition.  They are going to need alot of prayer and support to get through the healing process. 

         Update:  The executive director at the burn center in Augusta, Georgia said that he expects both young men to make a full recovery.  The injuries that Travis Barker incurred were restricted to burns on his torso and his lower body; while, Adam Goldstein was burned on his arm and on his head.  Investigators are still investigating however, the voice recorder from the aircraft was recovered and there was a sound on the tape consistent with a tire blowing.  That evidence, along with pieces of the tire tread near the take off point seems to point to a tire blowout just before take off, which could have caused the crash.

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Mixed Signals Allow For Conflicted Perceptions…Is It Rape or Intimacy?

       There was a recent news story that did much to anger those who work with women who have been “date raped”.   Helen Mirren, a British actress, who won awards last year for her portrayal of the Queen, did an interview with GQ in which she claimed to have been raped several times, many years ago, when she was a student.  Helen is 63 years old now. 

         The reason some people have been upset with Helen, over that interview, is that she seemed to down play the experiences.  She said there was no extreme violence, she was not hit…but rather, was locked in a room and made to have sex.  She did not file charges in those incidents.  She also said that if a man and a woman were about to get intimate and the woman changed her mind, and the man continued; that was indeed rape.  However, in that circumstance; she didn’t feel that a woman could then turn around and take that man to court for it.  Those are highly controversial remarks when taken individually or out of context.  To some people…those comments smack of judgementalism…that those situations aren’t worthy of prosecution of a person who sexually assaults another.  Those comments appear inflammatory to many folks.

         Most people are clear that if a stranger attacks another person and forces sexual relations…then that is rape.  It is true enough…it is.  But there are other forms of rape as well that aren’t as clearly defined for some people.

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