An Awakening To Domestic Abuse

      This subject is never a pleasant one.  No one likes to acknowledge domestic abuse is a way of life…especially if it is happening within their own life.  Unfortunately, domestic abuse happens every day in a multitude of ways.  It doesn’t just happen in the lives of the poor, the rich, or the celebrity world; even though, that is often the stories that we hear about…those who are famous.  We must awaken to the facts of domestic abuse; it is often learned behaviors that are used to control another person…either with intimidation, physical violence, emotional abuse or sexual abuse.

       Domestic abuse is like cancer…it is constantly trying to destroy the people involved.  It is a pattern of behavior that affect both the abuser and the person being abused.  Many who are being abused do not recognize that what is happening in their lives is actually domestic abuse.  The reasons for their lack of understanding, or denial are many. 

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Remembering Caylee Anthony-Showing Respect

Today is the day of the Caylee Anthony memorial.  This ceremony brings to light so many layers of human emotion that it takes a while to sort out how a person really feels.  This whole sad story has been in the news for quite some time now and it will be a staple in the news for a much longer period of time.  Isn’t that ok?  I mean…doesn’t a life have value far and beyond a momentary clip in the obituary section of the newspaper when that life was stolen from it’s owner?

I was annoyed this morning as I viewed my twitter feed.  There was a person who was bemoaning the fact that they were anticipating another day when the news of Orlando would be overshadowed by more news about the Anthony family; as they hold the memorial service for Caylee.  At first, i was very put out by their 140 character statement on Twitter.  Then i stopped and thought about it…I guess to some degree i can understand that there is much going on in that area that is good and newsworthy as well.  The Orlando has much positive news to report as well as this terribly sad news…so i decided to ignore the momentary bluntness of that person’s comment.

I dont live in the area which is probably a good thing.  I would most likely want to be at that service for the beautiful child Caylee; just as a sign of respect for her as an innocent life that was taken.  It is amazing the  connection that some people have to this young child, myself included.  She has touched so many lives just because of how she lived and died.  It is unfair how she passed.  It is heartbreaking that her body can’t even be at her memorial.  It is unspeakable what was done to her.  So many questions about who, what , where, when and why; but not for today.

Today is about remembering her and sharing her short life with those who were/are close to her.  Their hearts are sad and grieving.  Those who have been touched in an emotional way who did not know her will also be sad.  But that two year old life deserves to have the good and happy memories talked about and shared.  She is more than a victim.  She was a real, live breathing child who played, sang, danced and learned.

Please, reporters, media, mourners and observers…don’t focus on things that don’t matter today.  Don’t harrass the family, dont speculate, dont focus on negativity or superficial things.  Remember Caylee and remember that she had a life before she became the victim of her killer; dont turn this into a media event , or a free for all.  She had friends, relatives, neighbors and people who cared about her and loved her; let’s show some respect and support.  Don’t sully her memorial service with all the ugliness…let her have some dignity!

As a side note: I have moved my site to a new Url: WriteWhereYouAre if you are interested in reading more blog posts!

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Mixed Signals Allow For Conflicted Perceptions…Is It Rape or Intimacy?

       There was a recent news story that did much to anger those who work with women who have been “date raped”.   Helen Mirren, a British actress, who won awards last year for her portrayal of the Queen, did an interview with GQ in which she claimed to have been raped several times, many years ago, when she was a student.  Helen is 63 years old now. 

         The reason some people have been upset with Helen, over that interview, is that she seemed to down play the experiences.  She said there was no extreme violence, she was not hit…but rather, was locked in a room and made to have sex.  She did not file charges in those incidents.  She also said that if a man and a woman were about to get intimate and the woman changed her mind, and the man continued; that was indeed rape.  However, in that circumstance; she didn’t feel that a woman could then turn around and take that man to court for it.  Those are highly controversial remarks when taken individually or out of context.  To some people…those comments smack of judgementalism…that those situations aren’t worthy of prosecution of a person who sexually assaults another.  Those comments appear inflammatory to many folks.

         Most people are clear that if a stranger attacks another person and forces sexual relations…then that is rape.  It is true enough…it is.  But there are other forms of rape as well that aren’t as clearly defined for some people.

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It Is Not Going To Be That Easy!

       A week ago we were all horrified to learn of a young 22 year old man who was stabbed to death while he slept on a greyhoud bus that was traveling through Canada.  This young man did nothing wrong and yet, he was vicously stabbed over and over again; and then, sorry for having to say this…was beheaded by his attacker.  The attacker, Vince Weiguang Li, then ate parts of the body.  That is a violation of mind, body and spirit and is hard to understand how someone could act so normal and be so unbalanced.

         As all of this was happening, the other bus occupants left the bus for their safety.  An officer reported seeing some of the horrifying actions of Vince Li.  He was arrested and has gone before a judge who asked him if he wanted a lawyer.  He supposedly shook his head and said, “Please Kill Me”.

          Killing him would be all too easy.  Yes, I am sure there are many who wish that to be his punnishment.  Even if that is the end result, it is not going to be that easy.  There will be a process for Li that takes time.  You don’t request death and it is done instantly through legal proceedings.  It is not going to be that easy for Li.  He will have a long time to relive the horror that he perpetrated.  Over and over again, he will be tortured by memories of what he did. 

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Blaming The Victim…Will It Work?

      Blaming the victim…will it work in the case of the husband originally from England who is accused of murdering his American wife Rachael Entwistle and his infant daughter Lillian? Neil Entwistle’s case has had world wide media coverage since he “discovered” his wife and daughter in bed with fatal gun shot wounds; and, instead of reporting this “discovery” to the authorities…he did some very strange things. 

        It was alleged that Neil did not just discover his wife and daughter; but in fact, killed them.  Before the murders, it was alleged that Neil was doing online searches about escorts, as well as killing people.  Then, after Neil discovered his wife and daughter’s bodies, he allegedly returns a gun, that has his DNA as well as Rachel’s DNA, secretly to his father-in-law’s gun cabinet in his home.  Then, he hops a flight to London.  Why murder, if in fact it was murder; why not get a divorce if he was so unhappy?  So many questions with very little answers. 

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Prison Time For Wesley Snipes

         Yesterday, Wesley Snipes was sentenced for 3 years for tax fraud; for not filing his tax returns for approximately three years.  Wow, they are really making an example of him.  I am sure…Joe Smoe will think twice about it if they are tempted not to file; or, not to pay when they owe taxes.   This conviction will have a huge IMPACT on those tempted not to pay.   No-one wants to, willingly, go through this kind of trauma, if they can avoid it…unless they got screws loose.

         On the radio this morning, i heard that Mr. Snipes allegedly paid the court 5 million dollars in back taxes….with something like 30 million, or so to go!  Wowee, how many zillions of dollars does a person have to make to OWE that kind of money in taxes and penalties?  I, for one, don’t want to ever be in that position.  Maybe it isn’t so bad being a middle class Joe Smoe!  🙂 

         I am sure that Mr. Snipes’ lawyers will appeal this sentence; but, more than likely, that will only delay the event.  There was plenty of star power personal references presented to the court, attesting to Mr. Snipes character…but, it didn’t seem to make a difference.  The government is going to hold up this conviction so that the public will pay close attention to the consequences.

        I feel badly for Mr. Snipe’s family.  The stress of paying that kind of money plus, worry over their loved one going to prison has to be overwhelming.  If Mr. Snipes was a victim of poor tax advice…that is bad enough.  However, if he choose to put himself in this position, rebelling against having to part with his money…then the sentence is deserved.   It was alleged, in court, that he not only willfully was rebelling, he was hiding money overseas and through friends and family.  Understand that the prosecution presented evidence that this was not just a whim or a mistake…they alledged that this went on for a decade.  In that case, three years of prison time, should allow for enough time to reflect on the error of his ways.

          None of us have the ability to read his mind and determine his actions; thankfully, that responsibility was up to the judge and jury.  If nothing else, this conviction just reinforces the old saying…there is nothing sure about life, except death and taxes!!!

         

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