Both Chris Brown and his girlfriend, Rihanna, were scheduled to be performers on the Grammy Awards show last night. They did not show up. Today, word comes out in news reports that Chris Brown is being accused of a domestic violence assault, of an undeclared female who allegedly Id’ed him as the abuser; this is a felony, if convicted.
It is alledged that Chris Brown and his girlfriend Rihanna were driving and got into an argument and stopped the vehicle. Allegedly both exited the vehicle and continued the argument. The argument became heated and someone placed an emergency call to 911. When the police arrived they found the victim at the scene of the altercation. Chris Brown had allegedly left the area. The victim had visible injuries.
Chris Brown has been booked for making criminal threats and it is alledged that there could be more charges filed in the future. He posted a large amount of bail and was released. The spokesperson for Rihanna did not confirm or deny reports…supposedly just expressed Rihanna’s well being, and thanked everyone for their concern.
I remember for quite some time at the beginning of their relationship, it was kept hush- hush about the rumors of their romance. Chris is only 19 years old and Rihanna is 20; if this domestic assault did indeed happen between these two, it is going to have long reaching consequences. Domestic violence is a huge problem; it affects everyone, whether personally or through someone that they know. It’s an issue that destroys many lives.
It doesn’t help that as public figures, both Chris and Rihanna, are viewed as role models. Because of their fans, many will be watching this situation closely. Of course there is concern for both party’s well-being; at the same time, how they handle this situation personally and professionlly, will be important.
Domestic violence can never be condoned. Often times, drugs or alcohol play a part, as well as stress, anger issues, and financial strains. Those are underlying causes for many instances of domestic violence; but, they should never be a justification for harming another person.
If this alledged assualt is swept under the rug by the PR machine, it will do a grave disservice to both men and women. Teens and young adults, who are aware of this situation, will be learning from it. What they learn will be determined by how it is handled by both Chris Brown and the victim…whoever she is. The seriousness of it should not be spun by those trying to minimize the professional damage to the entertainers…it is more important to address the issues for both of them; they are so young and they have their whole lives ahead of them. It would be wrong to allow this alledged incident to be downgraded to a misunderstanding if there truly was domestic violence. None of us were there and know what really happened…hopefully, there will be healing for everyone involved.
There are so many layers of emotions involved for family members, friends and the general public as well as those involved in a domestic dispute. Counseling is helpful, support of family and friends who are informed and not enablers is crucial. Getting professional help when dealing with these issues is a healthy way to work through them and prevent them from becoming a pattern in personal relationships; it may just save someone’s life.
Often domestic violence is about power and control. Those two issues are present in every relationship; how those issues are addressed is important they can be handled in a healthy way or they can be ignored allowing a dangerous situation to get out of control. Domestic violence is being abused, used, overwhelmed, intimidated, coerced, controlled or humiliated; that is when the balance of the relationship crosses over into dysfunction. For anyone experiencing an abusive or dyfunctional relationship there is help available: http://www.ndvh.org/ . Please reach out for help, because often these thing get worse as time goes on. No one wants to be in that situation…please get help before it is too late.